Big black guy: Blue plus red equals green, nigga!
–Loews Cinema, 13th & Broadway
Overheard by: no, its purple
Big black guy: Blue plus red equals green, nigga!
–Loews Cinema, 13th & Broadway
Overheard by: no, its purple
Dancer girl: I dunno, I mean, like, I wish they made a size like, triple zero, so I would have something to look forward to, y’know?
–Central Park
Man: Yeah, that’s how you gain weight: a backed-up colon. I cleaned mine out this weekend.
–B54 Bus
Overheard by: Alma Molato
Old woman, very loudly, in the middle of the movie: Boy, is she skinny!
–Movie theater, 86th Street b/w 2nd & 3rd
Overheard by: The New York Crank
Girl on cell: If bitch can’t afford to buy her own groceries, she can just get skinny!
–Green Village Used Clothing, Bushwick
Anorexic fashionista: Any self-respecting anorexic knows that!
–Lincoln Center, 62nd & 9th
Man on cell: You went to a party last night? Well, that means you have to do three hours tomorrow. And I want you to drink lots of water, but none of that crystal light crap. That is seven calories that you do not need.
–Blockbuster, Broadway
Chick: What does that mean, that the movie has subtitles? Isn’t it in English?
Cashier: Yes, it’s in English, but it has subtitles for the disabled.
Chick: So it’s for the illiterate or something?
–Regal Cinemas, Union Square
Brunette bimbo: Oh my god, this line is so long I don't know if I can hold it.
Blonde bimbo: Just think dry thoughts. Think chicken.
–Line for Ladies' Room, Movie theater, Union Square
Guy, in chinese: Do you think I'm Harry Potter?
–Vivi Bubble Tea Bar
Girl on cell outside art bar: And I was like "Dumbledore, try some jeans."
–8th Ave & Horatio St
Overheard by: Jean Ann
Cute girl graduating to friend: I hate gowns… How does Harry Potter stand it?
–Columbia University Business School Graduation
Overheard by: Jen
Guy, after watching new Harry Potter movie: Man… that's it? That was a lap dance!
–42nd Street Movie Theater
Crazy woman wrapped in shawls: I'd kidnap and fuck Harry Potter for an eight ball of coke. (to onlooker) Why aren't you at work?
–Brooklyn Theater
Overheard by: JesseJack (I've got a Job)
Guy: Oh my god! I just snorted!
Girl: Hey! There’s only room for one snorter and I’ve already claimed that title.
–AMC Loews, 68th & Broadway
Overheard by: Natalie
(possessed girl walks on hands downstairs during midnight showing of The Excorcist)
Awkward guy to chick he's with: Haha, I almost pissed myself!
(she doesn't respond)
Awkward guy, again: Haha, I almost pissed myself!
Drunk dude: We heard you the first time, buddy!
–Loew Village Theater
Dad: What’s this movie about? Squirrels?
Son, sarcastically: Yeah, evil squirrels. That’s why they call it Happy Feet.
Dad: I get my kids’ movies confused. But they all have a hedgehog. [About hip hop song intro] Those aren’t lyrics — he’s just rhyming.
–Lincoln Plaza IMAX
Queer: Do you know who’s playing in the Super Bowl?
Fag hag: Beyoncé, Prince… And someone else I don’t remember…
–The Loews, Lincoln Square
Girl to friend: So last night I hit myself in the eye with my broom while baking lasagna, drunk.
–Blarney Stone Pub
Suit on cell: Oh man, you should definitely ice and elevate that shit.
–AMC Lowes, 68th & Broadway
Overheard by: Jessica Segal
Man in wheelchair to woman pushing him: Remember when I hit that stroller head on and the kid passed out?
–33rd b/w 7th & 8th
Conductor on speaker: Please bring the first aid kit to car three, please bring the first aid kit to car three, a passenger has a bite.
–Train Leaving Penn Station
Teen to friend: And that’s how I got my penis stuck in a pencil sharpener.
–Stuyvesant High School
