White guy #1: I was listening to Celia Cruz.
Spanish guy: Yeah, I've been to Santa Cruz.
White guy #2: What? Santa Claus?
–48th & 6th
White guy #1: I was listening to Celia Cruz.
Spanish guy: Yeah, I've been to Santa Cruz.
White guy #2: What? Santa Claus?
–48th & 6th
Conductor (after a few minutes waiting at signal): One of those trains better hurry it up and move it, I have better things to do.
–N Train
Conductor: Across the platform is an express 3 train. The doors are open, you can make it. Go for it! Go! Catch that train! (after a few stops) There is an express 2 train across the platform. You will make it. You will not miss it. You will make it.
–1 Train
Overheard by: motivated
Cheerful conductor: Welcome to the station formerly known as Prince!
–R Train
Conductor: We are now arriving at Grand Central. This is our final stop. We're six minutes early, so now you can't say anything bad about us.
–Metro North Train
Overheard by: Angela
Conductor: That is a 1 train and all trains are running express. Another local won't run til 5 am Monday. You can wait but we don't serve dinner or breakfast, and I'm all out of sleeping bags.
–1 Train
Overheard by: Steve
Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, the train's emergency brakes have been activated for some reason. The train operator is going to walk around the train and check if there's a…body, or something, under the train. After that, we'll be able to move!
–C Train
Overheard by: Patient Passenger
Train conductor: Last call for the 10:00 local…last call! Get on the train cause away we go, and it's 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1…blastoff!
–Metro North
Overheard by: to mount kisco, and BEYOND!
Businessguy: It’s a small world.
Businesschick: Especially in Astoria!
Businessguy: Ha, ha, ha!
Businesschick: Hee, hee.
–Midtown office
Guy: Here you go, brother.
Hobo: Thanks. Hey, are you the guy who asked me for a remix?
–A train
Overheard by: quiubomona
Guy: …and he had, like, shark teeth! Three fucking rows of them! I swear.
–Fulton & Gold
College kid #1: I want to see the Messiah.
College kid #2: Like, actually? Or Handel?
College kid #1: … Handel.
–Lincoln Square
Obnoxious girl singing Spice Girls loudly: Yo, I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want..
Bus driver, over mic: What d'you want?
–Q34 Bus
Overheard by: Donna
Hipster #1 listening to Arabic music: Is this Sting?
Hipster #2: They aren’t even speaking English!
–Le Rendez-Vous Cafe
Overheard by: Pete
Hobo to female passerby (singing): Pretty woman, walking down the street/Pretty woman, eating a hamburger…
–Wendy's, Union Square
Overheard by: Hungry Bystander
Salesgirl to another: You look pretty today…for a little Filipino girl.
–American Eagle, SoHo
Overheard by: Holly
Loud hobo walking through crowded train: Lots of beautiful ladies on this train. Beautiful white ladies. Beautiful black ladies. I like her hat. (turns to one shy-looking girl) Do you wear makeup? You shouldn't. You don't need it, you are so beautiful. If you have any makeup, just throw it away. Or send it to my girl, cuz she is ugly.
–Downtown 4 Train
50-something woman to pretty 20-something girl: I just wanted you to know that our husbands over there think you are one of the most beautiful girls they have ever seen. So now our husbands are going to have sex with my friend and I tonight. They may be thinking of you during, but thanks to you I am going to have an orgasm tonight, so thank you for being so gorgeous.
–Boat Basin Cafe
Overheard by: Megan W.
Guy on iPhone: You think because you're pretty you can get away with that shit. Well, you're wrong! You can get away with that shit because you're rich!
–Duane Reade, Columbus Ave
Overheard by: Veronica at http://everythingisused.blogspot.com/
Thug #1: Man, this nigga is so gangsta.
Thug #2, sharing thug #1’s headphones: Word. Although, really I think he just raps like that because he’s really vulnerable right now.
–L train, 1st Ave
Overheard by: kanye’s therapist
