Paranoid passenger to another: Are you looking at me?
Bus driver to paranoid passenger: Hey, don't be so paranoid.
Paranoid passenger: I'm not paranoid. I just thought he was looking at me!
–Q31 Bus
Paranoid passenger to another: Are you looking at me?
Bus driver to paranoid passenger: Hey, don't be so paranoid.
Paranoid passenger: I'm not paranoid. I just thought he was looking at me!
–Q31 Bus
20-something to friend: If I didn't do so many drugs, I could probably afford to go skiing and shit like that.
–Williamsburg
Art school student: If I can stop doing heroin, I can do anything!
–Outside School of Visual Arts
Tourist guy to tourist friends: Yeah, I remember when he went to school on shrooms, and then he went to the principal and told him that he was on shrooms.
–40th St & Madison Ave
Overheard by: Bones Jones
Father to daughter: Don't say "no" to drugs. Say "no, thank you."
–45th St & 5th Ave
Blonde Catholic schoolgirl: Maybe after we pop the E we'll roll over to 149th Street.
–Q88 Bus
Old guy moving away from lady on cell, who follows him: Lady, would you shut the hell up already?! I moved from back there just to get away from you!
–M20 bus, 23rd St stop
Girl: Oh my gosh! You know what would be awesome? If lightning struck you, and you like got a permanent tan.
–34th & 8th
Overheard by: Glynnis
Woman: These invitations are really important! I mean, not only am I turning 40, but it’s a year to the day that I almost died!
–Staples, Union Square
Little girl: Hey Mom, there are dead people here too!
–X1 bus
Irish guy: Oh, what people don’t realize is that the Indians are
everywhere. They’re sprinkled around everywhere.
–First Prince Copy Center, Prince Street
Bimbette: Yeah, me and Beyoncé is friends on MySpace. She invites me to all the hot events, like her concerts and parties. She even bulletins me.
Boyfriend: For real?
Bimbette: Yeah, we’s like best friends.
–Shuttle to Times Square
Overheard by: Is not friends with Beyonce :(
Spanish thug #1: I'm all about love, man, but I never say it, like, I loved my ex.
Spanish thug #2: What is love? And not the general meaning of it.
Spanish thug #1: It's like feeling sick to your stomach. (pause) Right?
Spanish thug #2: Yeah, that's good.
–Q27 Bus
Overheard by: trying to read in peace
Frat boy #1: If he kills me, I will kill him!
Frat boy #2: Oh, that makes a lot of sense.
–NYU Bus
Overheard by: ihatevegs
Suit on phone: I don't think she knows. (pause) But it's just a night job! (pause) No, there's no way I'm pregnant. (pause) Why not?! Because I'm a man, goddammit!
–Starbucks
Woman on cell: So remember that time I thought I had that miscarriage?
–Grand Concourse & Fordham Road
Overheard by: Erica S
Slightly overweight girl: Thank you for the offer, sweetie, but I'm not pregnant. I'm just fat!
–M100 Bus
Overheard by: Tinathetiny
Tall girl on cell: No way! I thought *you* were going to impregnate *me*. I wanna have *your* children.
–Prince & Broadway
Overheard by: Ken Paprocki
Bus driver: Move to the back of the bus. They’re giving free diamonds in the back of the bus. See that lady in the back for your free diamond.
–M2 bus
Guy: I hate this city. You can’t swing a dead cat without hitting a production.
–W 44th, near filming of Spiderman 3
Overheard by: Alex
Woman, yelling into cell: Why you gotta be eatin’ all my food for? You a damn crackhead, you don’t need no damned food!
Woman sitting next to her, shaking his head: Yeah, food is whack.
–M60 Bus
Overheard by: RickyB
