Old guy moving away from lady on cell, who follows him: Lady, would you shut the hell up already?! I moved from back there just to get away from you!
–M20 bus, 23rd St stop
Old guy moving away from lady on cell, who follows him: Lady, would you shut the hell up already?! I moved from back there just to get away from you!
–M20 bus, 23rd St stop
Girl: Oh my gosh! You know what would be awesome? If lightning struck you, and you like got a permanent tan.
–34th & 8th
Overheard by: Glynnis
Woman: These invitations are really important! I mean, not only am I turning 40, but it’s a year to the day that I almost died!
–Staples, Union Square
Little girl: Hey Mom, there are dead people here too!
–X1 bus
Irish guy: Oh, what people don’t realize is that the Indians are
everywhere. They’re sprinkled around everywhere.
–First Prince Copy Center, Prince Street
Bimbette: Yeah, me and Beyoncé is friends on MySpace. She invites me to all the hot events, like her concerts and parties. She even bulletins me.
Boyfriend: For real?
Bimbette: Yeah, we’s like best friends.
–Shuttle to Times Square
Overheard by: Is not friends with Beyonce :(
Spanish thug #1: I'm all about love, man, but I never say it, like, I loved my ex.
Spanish thug #2: What is love? And not the general meaning of it.
Spanish thug #1: It's like feeling sick to your stomach. (pause) Right?
Spanish thug #2: Yeah, that's good.
–Q27 Bus
Overheard by: trying to read in peace
Frat boy #1: If he kills me, I will kill him!
Frat boy #2: Oh, that makes a lot of sense.
–NYU Bus
Overheard by: ihatevegs
Suit on phone: I don't think she knows. (pause) But it's just a night job! (pause) No, there's no way I'm pregnant. (pause) Why not?! Because I'm a man, goddammit!
–Starbucks
Woman on cell: So remember that time I thought I had that miscarriage?
–Grand Concourse & Fordham Road
Overheard by: Erica S
Slightly overweight girl: Thank you for the offer, sweetie, but I'm not pregnant. I'm just fat!
–M100 Bus
Overheard by: Tinathetiny
Tall girl on cell: No way! I thought *you* were going to impregnate *me*. I wanna have *your* children.
–Prince & Broadway
Overheard by: Ken Paprocki
Bus driver: Move to the back of the bus. They’re giving free diamonds in the back of the bus. See that lady in the back for your free diamond.
–M2 bus
Guy: I hate this city. You can’t swing a dead cat without hitting a production.
–W 44th, near filming of Spiderman 3
Overheard by: Alex
Woman, yelling into cell: Why you gotta be eatin’ all my food for? You a damn crackhead, you don’t need no damned food!
Woman sitting next to her, shaking his head: Yeah, food is whack.
–M60 Bus
Overheard by: RickyB
Little girl with brand new doll: Mommy, what should I name her? I think I'll name her “Pussy”!
Mother: Uh!
Little girl: Pussy! Like “pussycat”!
Mother: Okay… maybe we should think of a different name!
Hipster sitting next to them: I'm going to have to send a few texts about this.
–Bus
Overheard by: bradlea
Obese black man #1 playing loud obscene rap song: What she looking at? (points to two old Russian women at the front of bus) Man, these white people. Don't they know this is a free fuckin' country?
Obese black man #2: Yeah, I'm tellin you, now that Obama's elected, white people are gonna know what the fuck's up.
–Q63 Bus
Overheard by: filemeunder
