Child: I turned on the channel and then mommy started yelling “no, no, turn it off!”
Mother: She found a porn channel.
Child: I liked it, because everyone was kissing.
–Penn Station
Child: I turned on the channel and then mommy started yelling “no, no, turn it off!”
Mother: She found a porn channel.
Child: I liked it, because everyone was kissing.
–Penn Station
30-something woman on cell: And then he says to me "you have a very nice placenta!"
–85th & 3rd
Overheard by: Whitney Simmons
Shoe shine guy to woman walking by: Nice boots! Nice hat! You sure got a lot of nice things, lady!
–47th & 6th
Overheard by: CreateEvity
NYU girl on cell: Ew! Emma? I can't believe a guy is interested in Emma! I know she's nice, but that's just gross. I really just cannot believe anyone could possibly be attracted to her! She's so ugly!
–Washington Square Park
Enthusiastic Jewish lady in jury room: He's very nice! He's very nice! He's going to be a *happy* archbishop!
–Centre St
Overheard by: Harriet Vane
Three-year-old girl: Don't be sassy, mommy, daddy's being nice.
–Front St.
Overheard by: Aviva
Older black man to circle of friends: I'll bend her over a bench and stick it into her! You know–I'm a nice guy.
–Flatbush & Lincoln
Woman to male companion: I told you about that guy I accidentally slept with, right?
–Bar at Sushi Samba, 7th Ave
Overheard by: David Russo
Girl to friend: Because it is more than just, sexual, you know? (pause) Well, actually, it's not, but…
–14th b/w 6th & 7th
Man to woman: You know Mesopotamian sex? That's me.
–Washington Square Park
Man walking dog on cell: My number one conquest since coming here was a 21-year-old Native American.
–27th & Broadway
Girl on cell: Mom, how am I supposed to have sex on a bed that has wheels?
–15th St & 8th Ave
Overheard by: Steve Hofstetter
Guy: So I fucked her on a bench, but I didn't finish, because I kept telling her about my girlfriend and how much I love her. So she got pissed of and took a taxi home to her parents.
–5th Ave
40-something man: Just tell that landlord that you don't need no electricity or no cable because you gonna be makin' love all the damn time!
–14th St & 1st Ave
Overheard by: tracey
Preppy fake blonde #1, coming out of gift shop: Well, you should have gotten the spaghetti!
Preppy fake blonde #2, coming out of gift shop: I didn't want the fucking spaghetti! And besides, my dad told me not to get the fucking spaghetti.
Preppy blonde #1: Wait a minute! Your dad said the f-word?
Preppy blonde #2: No! I just put that on for emphasis!
Preppy blonde #1: Well, that's false quoting!
(long pause)
Preppy blonde #2: That still doesn't explain why you didn't get the spaghetti.
–The Met
Overheard by: Kat
Young gay man: Once I have my one drug, which is how I get off, I go to my church club, which is where I have cocktails with Jesus.
Older female friend: Cocktails with Jesus?
Young gay man: My mother likes me to go to church… I make a compromise.
–L Train
Mom to little boy: Did you go number two?
Boy: I did! It was so little!
–Train, Grand Central
Overheard by: He has so little to get excited about.
Teen girl to friend: So, she's banging on my door; banging and screaming and yelling…
Teen friend: Fo' real?
Teen girl: Yeah! So she's banging and screaming at me… I wanted to yell at her “Shut the fuck up!” but then I remembered that she was my mom.
–3 Train
Overheard by: Somsharp1
Young woman: I heard this funny joke. A man comes home and his wife says “Your boss called and said that you were fired.” The man answers “Fuck him!”, and the woman says “I did, and now you have your job back.”
Woman's husband: I don't get it.
Eight-year-old son: C'mon dad, she made out with the boss!
–F Train
Italian teen #1: Why don't we just wait in line like everyone else?
Italian teen #2: Cause we aren't like everybody else. We have fathers!
–W 3rd & Sullivan St
Overheard by: Ronnie
Woman, clearly winding up a long rant: …and that's why I don't need no fuckin' man in my life!
Toddler son: Mmmmmhmm, mommy.
–Fort Greene, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Katie Naum
