Thug #1: Yo, what it mean when you call a woman “apple bottom”?
Thug #2 (half asleep): Cake.
Thug #1 to thugette: See woman, I told you it mean you got cake.
–1 Train
Overheard by: bianca's boyfriend
Thug #1: Yo, what it mean when you call a woman “apple bottom”?
Thug #2 (half asleep): Cake.
Thug #1 to thugette: See woman, I told you it mean you got cake.
–1 Train
Overheard by: bianca's boyfriend
Thug, quietly to young girlfriend: Get it, get it. (then loudly to woman about to steal the seat) Miss, she's pregnant! Miss, she's pregnant! (to girlfriend) Show her your belly. Nah, just playin, she just fat.
Woman: That's… not nice.
–A Train
Asian guy #1: Hey, would you date a female version of yourself?
Asian guy #2: No way bro, I don’t date white bitches.
–Columbia University
Fat ugly woman: I mean she is not a pretty girl, but she is a great dancer.
Thin ugly woman: Yeah, she can definitely dance.
Fat ugly woman: Dance yes, but there is something wrong with her face.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Hannah
Woman: I can’t tell Matt Dillon and his brother apart.
Man: I know! I thought it was Matt Dillon on Entourage.
Woman: It is Matt Dillon on Entourage.
Man: No, it’s his brother!
Woman: Nooo, it’s Matt Dillon…
Man: Wait, is it?
–1 train, 14th St
Overheard by:
Crackhead: Excuse me, miss, but you don’t look so good. Are you okay?
Hot, drunk chick vomiting in a trashcan: I’m supposed to be asking you that!
–66th St, Lincoln Center station
(two girls walk by, dressed as Peter Pan and Tinkerbell)
Gay boy: Aww, she's so cute, that little fairy!
Flaming gay boy: (gives gay boy a look)
Gay boy: What?
Flaming gay boy: Fairies have bods. All fairies.
Gay boy (laughing): She wasn't that big.
Flaming gay boy: Bitch, fairies do not have rolls!
–LIRR
White teenage boy to black teenage boy: She thinks I am a rapist or something.
(black teenage boy giggles) Which I am cool with, you know what I mean?
–Bay Ridge Ave & 4th Ave
Brunette Guido girl: Ohmigosh, you would love this girl, she's like, the only cool blonde person. This one time she was just like "Dude, can we just do the peace-and-love thing? Cause, I don't know how to fight."
–LIRR
Overheard by: whaaasgood
Fashion intern: I had swine flu last year, before it was cool.
–Cafeteria, Hearst Tower
Overheard by: interns are our future
Bike rider on phone, walking with girlfriend: I don't have his number, but you can call Tom* and go down there. Those guys are pretty cool. You can just go down there and give them a prostate massage.
–Riverside Park
Teenage daughter to mother, in front of Ashley Stewart: How about there? I'm sure they have some cute dresses.
Mother: Ashley Stewart is for fat people, honey. (points to three plus-size women entering store)
–Kings Plaza
20-something girl: Hey! How are you? You look great! What have you been doing now that you finished school?
20-something suit: Virgins only.
20-something girl: So that means we won't be having sex again.
20-something suit: Been there, done that.
–6 Train
