Girl: Do you like it better when I'm shaved?
Guy: Eh… I don't really care.
Girl: Really? Most guys have a preference.
Guy: Yeah, but with you it doesn't matter. You know how any hairstyle looks good on a pretty face? It's kind of like that.
–Bowery & 5th St
Overheard by: didn't see her face…
Older looking woman to younger one: That guy was so hot. I’d love to go out with him.
Younger woman: Are you kidding? He was really old! Like 70!
Older woman: So what? I am 65!
–57th & 3rd
Overheard by: Rachel Kurst
Girl #1: … So, do you have a thing for him?
Girl #2: No. I mean he’s cute, but he’s overweight and doesn’t dress that well.
Girl #1: That never stops me!
–1 Train
Overheard by: p9
Girl: She got it for her grandfather.
Guy: He ain't gonna like that.
Girl: You don't know him.
Guy: All I'm sayin' is unless she wins the lotto, she's never gonna be anything but middle class.
Girl: She ain't even middle class!
Guy: I mean she won't get any better than that. Companies just don't hire people with face tattoos. But maybe it's different for girls.
–168th St
Overheard by: Acacia Graddy-Gamel
Hipster #1: She's Palestinian.
Hipster #2: From what I've seen of Palestinians, they're cute, well except on Al Jazeera.
Hipster #1: Yeah, when they're not screaming or headless…they're pretty good looking.
–A Train
Metalhead, playing guitar and singing: Buy some fuckin' poptarts /buy some fuckin' weed/ buy some fuckin' cigarettes/buy everything you need!
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: j
Singing hobo pushing cart: I am wiiiise. I am wise!
–Union Square Station
Overly flamboyant gay guy, singing: I kissed a girl and I liked iiiit. (swishes hips while walking)
–11th St & 7th Ave
Overheard by: Mal Sullivan
Singing gay guy to another, clapping hands in rhythm: You look like a cunt, you act like a cunt, you smell like a cunt, you feel like a cunt…
–2 Train
Overheard by: drew
Hobo, getting into train and taking out electric guitar and amp: Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention please! This song is for the white lady with the orange pocketbook. She reminds me of Martha Stewart…when she got out of jail. (starts singing) 3 train white lady is my girl, my girl, my girl!
–Downtown 3 Train
Overheard by: Jingles
Little girl in stroller, singing happily: Doe, a deer, a hee-hale deer. Ray, a drop of golden pee-pee…
–E Train
Dominican guy: I really like your haircut.
Brooklyn guy: Yeah, the women at work really liked it, but I never take anything they say seriously because I know how ugly I am.
Dominican guy: Yeah, I know what you mean. You know like when women say “I want to be with you,” but they really don't do that…
Brooklyn guy: Okay, this is the only thing that is going to be true of what I say from now on. Every girl I asked out has said yes, but didn't mean it.
Dominican guy: Is this a hypothetical situation?
–Harlem
Little girl, as car alarm goes off when she passes by: What was that?
Older sister: Oh, don't worry, it was probably me.
Little girl: Psh! You're not that hot!
–26th St & 1st Ave
Overheard by: Lara
Girl on cell: Five hours later, I was still pulling cum out of my hair!
–13th St
Overheard by: questioning the physics
Drunk girl to drunk guy: I would love to be 5'8", I mean…it's like not tall…but like not short. (four minutes later, screaming) Yeah…like…too much thought is like…bad for you! (later) They should've jerked you off in your sock!
–84th & Amsterdam Ave
One of four middle aged men on a bench: Well, the key is to never swallow the cum, spit the cum out.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Dan
High voiced hobo to teenager: I want you to cum on my face.
–72nd St & Broadway
20-something girl on cell: Oh, you can't carry the microscope with you? Well, if you come here we'll have to forgo the sperm. If I come to visit you, then we can work it into the schedule.
–Ess-A-Bagel
Overheard by: Emma
NYU dude: How do you get cock-blocked while you're jizzing?!
–St. Mark's Place & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: IWasWonderingThatToo
Student, slamming reproductive biology book shut: Sperm! It's everywhere!
–Bobst Library
Overheard by: ttny
Girl #1: Yeah, her mom looks weird.
Girl #2: Yeah, she looks like a troll driving.
Girl #1: Well, she looks like a troll all the time.
Girl #2: Sure, but what's more awkward…a troll or a troll driving?
–86th St & Ridge Blvd
