Wednesday One-Liner Is Performance

20-something woman on cell: So I'm like, "Be a man and go in the ladies' room!"

–19th & 7th

Overheard by: tycho anomaly

40-something suit on cell: Why do I have to be the girl?

–University Place & 14th St

Overheard by: rich

Meathead: To the point where the hottest women in Thailand are men. But I mean, no homo or anything.

–Uptown 5 Train

Overheard by: Can't vouch for this

Woman on cell: So yeah, men and women are different. Anyway…

–High Line Park

Overheard by: hudson williams-eynon

Guy, looking at friend's iPhone: Ugh, I really didn't need to see shemale penis today.

–99 Below Restaurant

Overheard by: Calvin SC

Posted on November 11, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Compare/Contrast, Friends, Gender issues, Girls, Guys, iPod, Meatheads, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Parks, Penis, Physical appearance, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, Sexuality, Street, Suits, The Village, Trannies, Travel, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

Um, That's a Vase.

Gay man #1, pointing at Greek statue: What's that?
Gay man #2: I don't know, but it's got a great ass!

–Met Museum

Overheard by: Peed my pants

Posted on November 10, 2009
Ass, Physical appearance, Queer guys, Questions, The Met, Upper East Side, Visual Art

She's Really Annoying to Watch Oprah with

Young black girl #1: Why ain't you under the umbrella? You black.
Young black girl #2: I don't give a fuck if my hair gets messed up.
Young black girl #1: You black! You so black!

–Brooklyn

Overheard by: rpk

Posted on November 10, 2009
Brooklyn, Ghetto Chicks, Hair, Physical appearance, Questions, Weather

Did You Just Say Something Was More Tranny Than a Jumpsuit?

Gay guy #1: Girl! Why are you wearing that coat? It's hot outside!
Gay guy #2, in huge black faux fur coat: It's to cover up the jumpsuit!
Gay guy #1: I think the coat makes you look more tranny than the jumpsuit.

–L Train

Posted on November 10, 2009
Clothing, Gays and Lesbians, Heat, On the Subway, Physical appearance, Queer guys, Trannies

Kevin Decides to Get a Fitness Program and Some New Friends

Chinese teen #1: Dude, you are “Fat Kevin” on my cell.
Chinese teen #2: What?
Chinese teen #1: I can't tell all you Kevins' voices! There's a fat Kevin, a skinny Kevin, an Indian Kevin, and just Kevin.

–Internet Cafe, Flushing, Queens

Overheard by: Renata

Posted on November 10, 2009
Chinese, Compare/Contrast, Diet/Weight, Physical appearance, Queens, Restaurants & Cafes, Teens

I Blame Niel Simon

British mother to young son: No, I want you to wear shoes on the subway.
British son: But I'm already barefoot, so what does it matter?

–American Museum of Natural History

Posted on November 9, 2009
Brits, Families, Moms, Museum of Natural History, Parents, Physical appearance, Public Transportation, Shoes, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wishes & desires

Mr. Trump Is Just Mean

Fat chick to friends: And then he said I reminded him of Rosie O'Donnell! (starts hysterically crying)
Friend #1: How? Like because you're funny?
Fat chick: No! Because I'm fat! (continues crying)
(man walking by bursts out laughing)
Friend #2: It's not funny!
Man walking away: Yes it is!

–7th St & 2nd Ave

Overheard by: Jesse H.

Posted on November 9, 2009
About Celebrities, Compare/Contrast, Crying, Diet/Weight, Fat People, Friends, Girls, Laughter, Men, Physical appearance, Strangers, TV, Union Square and East Village

The Food Police Are Everywhere

Larger woman in elevator eating Snickers bar: No matter what I do, I can't lose no weight!
Less fat friend: Mm-hmm.
(elevator goes one floor up and stops. Both go to get off)
Suit #1: Unbelievable, no wonder you have weight issues.
Larger woman: What? 'scuse me? What you know about me?
Suit: Other than you are fat, can't take the stairs for one floor, and are stuffing your face with a king size Snickers?
Less fat friend: Shit, he do know you.

–40th & 8th

Overheard by: SandmanEsq

Posted on November 8, 2009
Diet/Weight, Elevators, Fat People, Food, Friends, Gripes, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Physical appearance, Questions, Suits

Hormones: An OINY Short Story

Teenage boy #1: Dude, that mannequin was hot!
Teenage boy #2: Imagine if it had a head and limbs!

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: Dave Rabkin

Posted on November 8, 2009
Body Parts, Horny, Parks, Physical appearance, Teens, Washington Square Park

Wednesday One-Liners Grow Hair on Their Palms

Preppy guy to preppy friends: So then she's throwing these nerf balls at me while I'm furiously beating off on her couch…

–Chinatown

Girl: Masturbation's not really my thing, but I need to be more self-sufficient.

–N Train

Angst 20-something on cell: Ya, I miss riding my bike, it made my ass look so good… Fuck! I just want to go home, smoke some weed, and masturbate.

–Central Park

Overheard by: kate

Guy: I hope this bus gets caught in a traffic jam! (looks down out of window) You may see people jacking off in their cars.

–MegaBus, Top Deck

Overheard by: EuropanGal

20-something girl on cell: Yeah, he's a big dork. Ya know what else he uses? Calculators. But that's just to masturbate.

–Macdougal & 4th

Overheard by: Billy H.

Young women on cell: Oh. My. God! You will never guess who got married! (pause) The masturbator!

–Bryant Park

Posted on November 4, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Ass, Bryant Park, Bus, Cars and Driving, Central Park, Chinatown, Friends, Girls, Gossip, Guys, Home, Sweet Home, Insults, Marriage, Masturbation, Nostalgia, On Cell, On the Bus, On the Subway, One-liners, Parks, Physical appearance, Preppies, Questions, Science, Street, The Village, Wednesday One-Liners, Weed, Weirdness, Women

Physical appearance