Wednesday One-Liner Can Be Made Of Ivory, Glass, Rubber and Sometimes Wood

Loud girl to friend: How the hell do you lose your vibrator?

–4th St & 2nd Ave

Guy on cell: Yeah, I'm just waiting in line at Whole Foods. Still want me to bring the dildo over?

–Whole Foods

Gay man to boyfriend: I'm glad we could come here and show your coworkers that we really do buy lube for our sexual adventures.

–The Leather Man

Overheard by: i don't go to sex shops with my boyfriend

Creepy older man on phone: Someone should really dildo her.

–5th Ave & 58th St.

Overheard by: Courtney

Girl, loudly: Why didn't you tell me you bought lube?!

–Crowded NYU Elevator

Overheard by: S

Large woman to group of friends: And if someone asks a question, I just wave a dildo in front of their eyes!

–Brooklyn Museum

Overheard by: Liat

Posted on November 4, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Boyfriends, Brooklyn, Creepsters, Dildos and Vibrators, Elevators, Fat People, Friends, Girls, Guys, Lube, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, More museums, NYU, Old People, On Cell, One-liners, Queer guys, Questions, Sex, Shopping, Store, Street, Union Square and East Village, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, West Village, Whole Foods, Wishes & desires, Women

…I Own You

Trashy high school girl: I'm so glad I'm finally a freshman.
High school boy #1: Why?
Trashy high school girl: Because then I can make out with all the hot jocks.
High school boy #2: Wait… You make out with me.
Trashy high school girl: Yeah, but you're my boyfriend.

–Central Park

Posted on November 3, 2009
Central Park, Couples, Frat Boys, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, Parks, Questions, Relationships, School and studying, Sorority Girls

Weren't You Bush's Foreign Policy Advisor?

Mom: What did that little girl say to you?
Daughter: She said… that I'm ugly.
Mom: Well, you tell her that her mom is ugly. And then you punch her in the face, that's what you do. And then I'll go and punch her mom in the face! That's what you do!

–48th St & Broadway

Posted on November 3, 2009
Beauty, Kids, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Moms, Parents, Punch, Questions

That's Stigmata, Ashley.

Girl: What have you been up to, Stephanie?
Stephanie: Oh, I work at an assisted living in Dedham.
Girl: Oh, I know that one. I have a funny story about…
Stephanie: Oh?
Girl: And by “funny story” I mean that I'm in love with your coworker's ex.
Stephanie: Wow!
Girl: Hey, does this look like a mosquito bite or a hive?

–Columbus Circle

Posted on November 2, 2009
Compare/Contrast, Girls, Insects, Jobs & Careers, Love, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Questions

…Though, to Be Fair, I Don't Act Like That with My Hairdresser.

Ghetto Latina: He's so fucking stupid! This morning I kissed him goodbye and said “you're my world.” and he goes “why you gotta be so dramatic?” Like, what the fuck?
Ghetto black friend: Damn!

–Houston & Hudson

Overheard by: Suit

Posted on November 2, 2009
Black People, Friends, Ghetto Chicks, Insults, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, Latinos, Questions, Soho, Stupidity

…I Just Can't Read Yet

Mother: What do you have there?
Five-year-old daughter: My schedule.
Mother: Do you know what class you have first?
Five-year-old daughter: Mom, I'm not retarded.

–1 Train

Overheard by: Special K

Posted on November 1, 2009
Education, Kids, Moms, On the Subway, Parents, Questions, Retardation, School and studying

That Was a Close One. Too Close.

Cashier: I'm worried I'm going to get pregnant when I least expect it. It's just going to sneak up on me. And, bam! I'm knocked up! You pregnant?
Cashier's friend: No, but my sister is.

–Old Navy, SoHo

Posted on October 30, 2009
Cashiers, Family Ties, Friends, Pregnancy & Birth Control, Questions, Soho, Store

You're in Brooklyn– What Do You Think?

Middle aged woman from out of town: I don't think there are any theaters around here.
Middle aged man with large open map: Maybe. Are we still in New York?

–Broadway Junction

Overheard by: Nikki

Posted on October 30, 2009
Directions, Men, NYC Geography, Questions, Subway stations, platforms, etc., Theater & Dance, Women

Ironically, This Turned Into a Domestic Dispute.

Woman: Well, I'm concerned about foreign policy.
Man: Of course, you can make anything into a foreign policy issue. The environment… foreign policy… What does that even mean?

–Sweet Melissa, Brooklyn

Posted on October 29, 2009
Brooklyn, Government, Grocery Stores, Men, Politics, Questions, Stupidity, Women, Words

Questions