Wednesday One-Liner: The Musical

Girl to class: I love classical music! I listen to the Bambi soundtrack all the time!

–Curtis High School, Staten Island

Guy in lobby, at intermission: Hands down, the best band I've ever seen in concert… Hootie and the Blowfish.

–Jazz at Lincoln Center

Guy on cell: I guess they're musicians. They put bitches ahead of practice.

–79th St b/w York & 1st

Overheard by: Queixa

Gay man to another, walking out of a bank: I mean, if you listen to like, one Sade song every six years, it's okay.

–15th St & 8th Ave

Lesbian: Fuck her! All she wants to do is stay home and sit in the kitchen and drink beer and listen to Melissa Etheridge! Fuck her! She can take a cab home!

–Staten Island

Overheard by: Kateri

Straight girl with a seat at the piano: No, I've never been here before, but I'm actually having a good time. I mean, I don't know most of these songs, but earlier he was playing The Sound of Music, and I was rocking out to that.

–Marie's Crisis Piano Bar

Overheard by: Duncan Pflaster

Crazy old cat lady to guy who just shut off obnoxiously loud music in next lane: Why'd you shut it off? I liked that song!

–Marathon Parkway & Northern Boulevard

Posted on September 13, 2017
All Wednesday One-Liners, Bank, Bars & Clubs, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Classroom, Compare/Contrast, Crazies, Disney, Drinking & Drunk People, Fast Times at New York High, Girls, Guys, Idiots, Insults, Lesbians, Music, Old People, On Cell, One-liners, Promiscuity, Public Transportation, Queens, Queer guys, Questions, Singing, Staten Island, Street, Students, Stupidity, Time, Upper East Side, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wednesday One-Liners, Wishes & desires, Women

Kinda Like Disneyland, But European

Asian teen #1: I know this kid whose skin is orange. It's 'cause he grew up in Chernobyl.
Asian teen #2: What's Chernobyl?

–Stuyvesant High School

Overheard by: knows what Chernobyl is, at least

Posted on September 11, 2017
Asians, Colors, Health and Hygiene, Physical appearance, Questions, Stupidity, Stuyvesant, Teens

Wednesday One-Liners, from the Redwood Forest to the Gulf Stream Waters

Very heavy ten-year-old boy, yelling excitedly: I heard they have bacon flavored popcorn in Florida! I love the south!

–Flushing, Queens

Hipster girl on cell: The entire state of Mississippi isn't a complete waste of space, even though it seems like it right now.

–Atlantic & Smith, Brooklyn Heights

Wino, grabbing can of beer: Here's 15 cents. I'll get the rest of it for you today. I promise! I'm from Georgia, I know how this shit works!

–Deli at 33rd & 7th

Overheard by: EthanK

Loud girl to friend: Maria? Maria's not dead, Maria's in Virginia?

–BxM10 Bus

Overheard by: bxgirl

Girl to boyfriend: I mean, when someone says they're throwing an "Iowa State Fair"-themed wedding, you don't think twice about going!

–30th Ave, Astoria

Posted on September 10, 2017
All Wednesday One-Liners, Astoria, Boyfriends, Brooklyn, Bus, Celebrations/Parties, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Death, Delis, Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, Food, Friends, Girls, Hipsters, Kids, Marriage, Money & Class, On Cell, On the Bus, One-liners, Queens, Questions, Street, Stupidity, U.S. Geography, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

When Doctors Form Gangs

Little blond boy pointing to graffiti on bus seat: What does that say?
Mom: I don’t know… It was written by someone with really bad handwriting.

–72nd Crosstown bus

Posted on September 9, 2017
Girls, Kids, Moms, On the Bus, Parents, Public Transportation, Questions, Words

The Live-Bug Earrings, Especially

Girl #1, yelling: We are not weird! We are not odd! Why would someone say that!?
Girl #2: Well, I'm a little odd.
Girl #1: Yeah. I guess you are.

–Columbia University

Overheard by: .bryan.

Posted on September 8, 2017
Columbia (& Barnard), Columbia University, Compare/Contrast, Default, Girls, Questions, Weirdness

It Means You'll Need to Bring Me the Head Of a Dragon Before We Can Discuss This Further

Student: Am I passing your math class?
Teacher: No.
Student: But I only need your class to graduate! What can I do to pass?
Teacher: Excuse me. Just because I'm Chinese does not mean you can bargain for your grade like this is Chinatown.

–High School, Queens

Posted on August 31, 2017
Education, Fast Times at New York High, Queens, Questions, Race, School and studying, Students, Teachers/Professors

She’ll Need It When She Gets Her Ass Kicked

A woman on a crowded train has put her bag on a seat and is standing in front of it.

Girl: Are you going to sit down?
Lady: Yes.
Girl: When?
Lady: Soon. I’m warming it up.

–A train

Overheard by: LSB

Posted on August 26, 2017
Comebacks, Girls, On the Subway, Public Transportation, Questions, Women

Are You Tired Of Non-Cooking Sluts?

Thug #1: Does she love you?
Thug #2: I know she loves me. She did my dishes!

–4 Train

Overheard by: Lauren

Posted on August 26, 2017
Love, On the Subway, Questions, Thugs

See? Saw!

Mother, pointing to a woman playing the musical saw: She is singing!
Son: No, She’s playing the saw.
Mother: There is an orchestra playing!
Son: It is a tape.
Mother: And she is singing?
Son. No. She is sawing.
Mother: What did you say?
Son: Go, have a look.
Mother: …….
Son: And?
Mother: It’s like singing.
Son: That’s it, the saw.
Mother: What a nice voice she has!
Son: She is not singing. It’s the saw that’s singing.
Mother: No way… She is singing into the saw?
Son: No, no singing. Just sawing.
Mother: But she is opening her mouth.
Son: She is breathing.
Mother: Are you sure she is not singing?

–Union Square subway station

Posted on August 24, 2017
Boys, Idiots, Moms, Questions, Singing, Stupidity, Subway stations, platforms, etc., Talking/Convos, Theater & Dance, Union Square and East Village

Questions

Are You Tired Of Non-Cooking Sluts?