Hipster girl #1: What are all those flags for?
Hipster girl #2: Isn't the Puerto Rican parade today?
Disillusioned passerby: Oh, great! More rapes in the park!
–Delancey & Orchard, Lower East Side
Overheard by: K Swin
Hipster girl #1: What are all those flags for?
Hipster girl #2: Isn't the Puerto Rican parade today?
Disillusioned passerby: Oh, great! More rapes in the park!
–Delancey & Orchard, Lower East Side
Overheard by: K Swin
Little girl: Daddy, what's an orgasm?
Dad: It's kinda like a sneeze. Now don't ask me any more questions.
–Times Square
Woman #1: Man, why do we get to sit in the back of the bus like slaves did?
Woman #2: Please, slaves walked everywhere!
–B44 Bus
Overheard by: Robin M.
Woman #1: How old do you think I am?
Woman #2: I don’t know…
Woman #1: I’m 46.
Woman #2: 46? Really? You look so young!
Woman #1: That’s Jesus.
–Fresco Tortilla, 52nd & 9th
Hispanic nanny: And you know how I have to make poo?
Excited toddler: Yeah!
–1st Ave & E Houston
Overheard by: Bruce Lee
Husky dad: So when you and your girlfriend make love, do you turn the lights off?
Awkward son, chuckling: No.
Husky dad: You mean you actually let her look at it?
Awkward son, chuckling again: Yeah.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Dave
Girl #1: That place is so off the hook.
Girl #2: I totally need to go. What days is it open?
Girl #1: Yo, every day. Like 400 days a year.
–77th Street R station
Big, Italian guy on cell: Braces? (pause) Why do you want braces? (pause) You don't just get them 'cause you want them!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: I hated braces
30-something woman to friend: I started getting cavities after I started making out with boys.
–Queens
Overheard by: Angela
Drunk guy: I wasn't having a heart attack, I was at the dentist!
–M60 Bus
Happy tall man on cell: Alright, nigga, brush your teef and all that, I wanna get high!
–111th & Lenox Ave
Anorexic #1: I didn't not eat for three days, I just didn't really…
Anorexic #2: Eat?
Anorexic #1: Yeah.
–Columbus Circle
Overheard by: the expeditor
Guy to friend: I'm sorry. When I see tight shorts I don't think 80s hair metal.
–23rd St
Conductor: This station is Murray Hill. If you look outside your window and don't see a platform, then you can't get off. Sorry. Please walk towards the front of the train.
–LIRR
Overheard by: PW rider
NJ transit conductor: Folks, this is the 5:50 Midtown direct. We are leaving two minutes late because some of your fellow commuters would not board the train. Some people don't understand you can walk on the train. Sorry for that.
–NJ Transit, Penn Station
Overheard by: Katherine
Extremely Brooklynese conductor: Okay, we're being held up by another f and…uh…another d. Oh, jeez! Sorry, people, it's not my fault, blame the fuckin' dispatcher! (to person in the conducting booth) What?
–F Train
Overheard by: Jasper johnson
Conductor on loudspeaker: Now arriving at Penn Station. Please exit the train promptly. And to those sitting in the first two cars, sorry about the lack of lights and air conditioner. (loudspeaker turns off, after a pause back on). Actually, we're sorry about everything.
–NJ Transit, Penn Station
Overheard by: brutal commuter
