NYU student #1: Who is Paris Green, anyway?
NYU student #2: Didn't he manage the Yankees for a little while?
NYU student #3: That was Dallas Green.
NYU student #1: Are they related?
NYU student #3: They used to use Paris Green to kill rats.
NYU student #2: He was an exterminator?
NYU student #1: Either way, I fucked up the test.
–Starbucks, Greenwich Village
Overheard by: Big Larry
Girl #1: A hot, sweaty penis is the best feeling.
Girl #2: I know what you mean!
–Starbucks, 78th & Lexington
Hipster girl: What's that?
Salvadorian guy: My benefits card, like food stamps. You could get one!
Hipster girl: Really?
Salvadorian guy: You should! We could barbecue non-stop! For free!
–Starbucks, Astor Place
Overheard by: anyabelisle
Customer: Hi, can I have one tall mocha frappuccino light, one venti skim decaf latte with an extra shot, and one tall iced chai?
Surly barista (under his breath): Oh, that's just great for me.
–Starbucks
Overheard by: Lexcar
Angry man on cell: I need a friend in my life! Do you hear me?! …I don't care! I'm not leaving my wife for anyone!
–Roosevelt Ave, Flushing
Overheard by: oh, you thought my ipod was on
Girl to friend: Tomorrow I'm finally unpacking and I'm buying a new sundress to wear on Sunday when I go out to brunch with my new love interest. But he doesn't know that's the direction our friendship is headed.
–Starbucks
Overheard by: A. Pincus
Older woman with teased black hair on cell: But Frank, I don't want you to write a song about me. I want things to be as they were, friends when we were normal. Don't write me a song.
–Staten Island Ferry
Girl to friend: Well, I'm friends with him too and I didn't sleep with him.
–Shake Shack, Union Square
Girl to friend: I'm willing to let you sleep with my best friend and you still want more?
–W 31 & 6th
Overheard by: misery
Angry woman on cell: And then he told this complete stranger, "My ex-wife had lesbian lovers! My ex-wife slept with young boys!" We've been divorced for six years and he's still talking shit about me, but he says he wants to be friends?!
–2nd St & Ave A
Overheard by: voidoid
JAP #1: Ohmigod, it's so good to see you…I didn't know you lived on up here.
JAP #2: I don't. I live downtown.
JAP #1: Oh really? Where?
JAP #2: 52nd street.
–Starbucks
Father: …and a sugar cookie.
Barista: Which color?
Father (to son): Which color do you want? (to barista) Purple.
Seven-year-old son: No, pink!
Father: Okay.
Seven-year-old son: But that doesn't mean I'm gay.
–Starbucks, 23rd & 5th
Overheard by: Matthew K. Johnson
Foreign guy: And listen, this coffee, it's for my friend. And he doesn't want it black, but he doesn't want too much milk in it. Can you handle that, my friend?
Cashier: We don't put milk in your coffee, sir.
Foreign guy: What? My friend needs milk!
Cashier: You put the milk in yourself, sir. It's right over there.
Foreign guy: He also wants Equal. No sugar. My friend, my friend, do you think you can handle that?
Cashier: The sugar is right over there.
Foreign guy: I need a cup for this milk and sugar because I don't know how much my friend wants.
Cashier: I have to start working the morning shift.
–Starbucks, 40th & Lexington
Overheard by: clp
Emo kid: Dude, have you seen Alvin and the Chipmunks yet?
Big black guy: No, not yet.
Emo kid: It was off the hook!
Big black guy: Really?!
–Starbucks, Port Authority
Lady: Yeah, I mean I’m looking for something that is a fit for me. Ya know, you’re either an East Side girl or a West Side girl… there’s really no in-between.
Real estate agent: Right, right, I understand. That’s why I’m here.
Lady: Because you know, I don’t want to be surrounded by frat bros and their yoga moms.
Real estate: Understandable, I wouldn’t subject anyone to that.
–Starbucks, 57th & Lexington
Overheard by: trying to get caffeine fix
