Compassionate chick, looking at homeless cats: Oooh, look at this one. It only has one eye. What happened?
Kitten rescue volunteer: Oh, it lost an eye.
–72nd & Columbus
Compassionate chick, looking at homeless cats: Oooh, look at this one. It only has one eye. What happened?
Kitten rescue volunteer: Oh, it lost an eye.
–72nd & Columbus
Tourist kid: Mom, am I fat?
Tourist mom: Yes. Now get in the airplane.
Tourist kid: Dad says I’m husky.
Tourist mom: That means fat.
–U.S.S. Intrepid
Goth girl: You are such a disillusioned youth!
Goth guy: Wait, what does that even mean?
Goth girl: How should I know? I just think it sounds good.
–Claire’s Accessories
Foodie: Have you ever been to China Grill?
Non-Foodie: Is that Cuban food?
–62nd & Broadway
Headline by: clarence rosario
Runners-Up:
· “You’re Confusing ‘Boat People’ With the ‘Cardboard Raft’ People” – Jo Jo
· “Close, But No Cigar” – andrew harrison
· “Con-Fusion Cuisine” – Greg Costello
· “Either Way You Feel Oppressed Again an Hour Later.” – Syd O
· “May I Take Your New World Order?” – jason daniel
· “Michelin Should Have Never Named it the Red Guide” – Fes
· “Public-School Geography Teachers Do Lunch.” – Doctor Whom
· “Sum Dim People Think So” – Constant Irritant
Woman: You better get that uvula home soon!
–Brooklyn bound F train
Overheard by: PoisonIvy
Cracked-Out queer, holding US Weekly: Mmmmmm, Ashlee lookin’ good! You know why? Whole lotta crack in her belly!
–1 train
Guy: So they took out my spleen and rummaged through my internal organs…
–1 train
Overheard by: sara n.
Woman on cell: I can’t believe it; your brain muscle must be telepathetic or something!
–18th & Park
Overheard by: edward
Vendor: What if they test it and find that it’s from his ear?!
–Wooster & Broome
Professor: My favorite magazine is one for undertakers. It’s called Caskets and Sunnyside. You can order ears. Right ears, left ears; there’s a market for them.
–Fordham
Overheard by: Jess McGins
Chick on cell: Wait, your uterus is what? What? Your uterus is what?! I’m on the street. I can’t hear–Oh, tilted! That’s totally fucked up. I’m sorry.
–23rd & 6th
Woman on cell: When you assume, you make an ass of yourself.
–4th Ave, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Mark
Hipster: Yo, what’s up with Filene’s Basement? That shit’s on the top floor!
–Union Square
Overheard by: Hobo Whisperer
Tourist: Is that the Enron building?
–Times Square
Overheard by: Robyn
Tourist to security guard: Are these all originals?
–Impressionist Gallery, the Met
Overheard by: j-diddy
Female tourist: I could never live in Central America because I’d miss the ocean.
–Restaurant bathroom, Little Italy
Overheard by: Olia
Girl looking at subway map: What about that thing, that star–“You are here”? They don’t have that?
–(Moving) uptown 1 train, 59th St
Overheard by: Jo
White hipster girl: Is black semen black?
–86th & Park
Chick #1: What the hell is that?
Chick #2: The placenta.
Chick #1: What’s a placenta?
–Bodies exhibit, Fulton St
Girl #1: Yeah, I need to buy a new cell phone; mine is broken.
Girl #2: How come.
Girl #1: I dropped it in the sand during my vacation.
Girl #2: That’s how it broke?
Girl #1: No, it was fine but the sand was all over it, so I decided to rinse it clean with pouring water from the bathroom sink.
–Central Park
Girl #1: He’s a whore.
Girl #2: A man-slut?
Girl #1: Yeah, but with the same woman for the last five years.
Girl #2: That’s like calling your mom a slut for being married to your dad.
–32nd & Broadway
Overheard by: K.A.
Guy: You know, I never noticed she had an accent before.
Girl: Yeah, she’s German.
Guy: Oh…I always thought she was slow.
–SIP, 110th & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Chris Kelly
