Dude: You’re such a slut!
Chick: How does leaving town make me a slut?
Dude: Uh, I was talking about your door-to-door nut-slapping service.
–Stuyvesant Town
Overheard by: Danielle is hot!
Dude: You’re such a slut!
Chick: How does leaving town make me a slut?
Dude: Uh, I was talking about your door-to-door nut-slapping service.
–Stuyvesant Town
Overheard by: Danielle is hot!
Guy on cell: No, no, no! He said they came to search him and he swallowed it.
–Sullivan & Bleecker
Teen girl at human limbs exhibit: Hmmm, I’m hungry.
–Bodies Exhibit, South St Seaport
Frat boy on cell: I miss you, baby. I love ya. I want to taste your saliva. Call me later when you’re drunk.
–University Pl & 14th St
Overheard by: Erin
Bimbette lighting a cigarette: This probably isn’t what I should be having for breakfast.
–14th St & 1st Ave
Man on cell: Have you talked about coating her in peanut butter and jelly and eating her like a sandwich? No? Okay.
–Starbucks, Court St, Brooklyn
Overheard by: MmmSandwich
Mom: Who’s the yummiest baby in the world? Is it you? Are you super-duper yummy?
–115th St & Broadway
Skater kid: What’s the point of being gay if you like girls who dress like boys?
–42nd St, between 7th & 8th Ave
Lady on phone: Yeah, she was working at a factory, but she was passing as a man… Well, she didn’t last a week at the factory.
–Bus in Lincoln Tunnel
TA: We live in a two-gender system of society. There’s no green ‘It’s a hermaphrodite!’ balloon to put out on your front lawn.
–NYU Silver Center
Overheard by: Limey
Chick: I mean, I feel frumpy here. For real. I’m sick of being like, ‘That guy is skinnier than me, has on nicer jeans, and has better makeup.’
–26th St
Overheard by: agrees with that girl
College student on cell: Great, I’ll see you soon. Can I be dressed as a woman?
–114th & Broadway
Mom to very young son: Some things are for boys, and some things are for girls. It was cute when you were little, but now it’s time to differentiate.
–Target, Atlantic Ave, Brooklyn
Queer #1: Ok, so read their body language and tell me if you think they are: 1) on a first date, but may go ahead and fuck tonight; 2) they are on maybe their third or fourth date, but have definitely had each other’s cock in their throats by now; or 3) they are full-on dating and fucking.
Queer #2: They’re on their first date. They’re way too into each other to already be dating.
Queer #1: Nice.
Both at the same time: Who do you think is the top?
Queer #2: Who do you think?
Queer #1: Well, just because white shirt is so hot, I’d want him to be the top. But, as you know, “Man of Steel, Heels of Helium.”
Queer #2: I know… Plus, the other one has to be the top. A bottom would never wear a plaid shirt.
–Nowhere Bar, E 14th Street
Overheard by: Gina Bruce
Chick #1: Do you have a safety pin?
Chick #2: What’s a safety pin?
Chick #1: Are you serious?
Chick #2: Yeah, I mean, what’s the difference between a safety pin and a paper clip? I know they both hold shit together, but, like, what’s the difference?
–23rd & 1st
Overheard by: Carly
A bunch of black high school kids in ghetto garb pass two preppily dressed white girls and make loud catcalls at them.
White girl #1: Where the fuck did they come from?
White girl #2: Um, someone took a shit in the sky.
–Outside Stuyvesant High School
Overheard by: Mexican On Wheels
JHS boy #1: Shut up before I have to put my ass in your mouth.
JHS boy #2: How the hell you gonna put your ass in my mouth?
–Central Park
Girl #1: It looked like you were getting pretty close with that guy on the dance floor.
Girl #2: I know! He was putting his dick all up in my ass like he knew me or something.
–11th between 3rd & 4th
