Frustrated hobo: I don't know where y'all are from, but where I come from people acknowledge each other.
Suit: We're from New York.
–S Train
Frustrated hobo: I don't know where y'all are from, but where I come from people acknowledge each other.
Suit: We're from New York.
–S Train
Extremely tall black woman watching video excerpt of porn star Marilyn Chambers "self pleasuring": Huh, looks like she's cleaning out a chicken.
–Museum of Sex, 5th Ave
Very round and fat short woman on cell: Next time ya come down to Astoria bring me some ribs! (girlishly) Bring me some chicken or some ribs. (pause) Wellll, bring some tomorra! (pause) I'll be lickin' my fingas at 4:30 in the mornin'!
–N Train
Overheard by: I want some ribs too
Suit on cell: So, the chicken comes out of its cage, and then it picks your fortune!
–Baxter St & Walker St
Overheard by: Kristin
High school girl: I'm sorry, but I was really high, and the chicken was just sitting there in the fridge. I mean, would you think someone's a bad person who kills someone when they're drunk? (pause) Let's pretend I didn't say that.
–86 St
Lady on cell: They eat the same thing all the time. Every single day it's curried chicken, white rice, curried chicken, white rice. I just want a damn sushi burger!
–Downtown F Train
Gay guy dressed in black with painted red hair: So fuck it. I'm gonna make a fetish costume for a chicken!
–11st St & 3rd Ave
Artsy girl with black hair to friend, after singing lyrics to the Thong Song: I know that because my brother used to sing it all the time.
Female suit, walking by on cell: So did I!
–45th & 2nd
Overheard by: can't remember the lyrics
Chubby Midwestern woman on cell: Yeah, I'm at Saks Fifth Avenue right now.
–Burger King
Overheard by: willy cheesesteak
Guy on cell: Yeah, I'm heading west on 23rd.
–1st Ave
Overheard by: Angela
Suit on cell, pacing around fountain: Yeah, baby I'm so sick, I could barely get out of bed this morning, I dragged myself to the kitchen. Didn't go to work or anything. Yeah, I think I'm just going to try to sleep it off, tonight. Guess dinner's off, sorry.
–Central Park Fountain
Overheard by: Knows Suits on cells are always lying
Man on cell, entering subway station: Yeah, I'm going to my limousine now, I'll talk to you later.
–Subway, 66th & Broadway
Dude in hoodie on cell, exiting subway: No, baby, I can't–I'm in Manhattan. No, I'm in Manhattan!
–86th St & 4th Ave, Bay Ridge
Man in jeans purchasing Doritos, on cell: Dude, I can't talk right now, I'm running in the marathon. Call you back in a few hours?
–Duane Reade, 87th & York
Overheard by: Upper East Sider
Female suit #1: You know how irritating it get?
Female suit #2: In what way?
Female suit #1: When it turns all red and hangs off to the side…
Female suit #2: Mine doesn't do that!
–42nd St & Lexington
Overheard by: Michael B
Frazzled suit: I just spilled my entire coffee!
Fat man in apron working the counter, pointing to sign: No free refills.
–Coffee Shop, Lower East Side
Overheard by: Danielle
20-something suit on phone: Yeah, man. Just come over. We can spoon and talk about chicks and shit.
–Wall & Pearl
Overheard by: traceface
Thug to another: Those bitches be cuddlin' your wounds!
–42nd St
Hispanic woman on phone: Yeah, it's crazy snowin' outside. (pause) Uh-huh, yeah, you wanna cuddle. (pause) Hahaha, uh-oh! (pause) Uh-oh, spaghetti-o! (pause) Haha, no, you've already done that. (pause) Hahaha… You've done that already. I have to spin the other way now.. (pause) He he he, you're crazy. Hee heee. (pause) Well, you have a lovely day inside a warm place!
–Q Train
Overheard by: Em Allears
Crazy lady to herself: Does anyone wanna snuggle me for the hell of it? (five minutes later) Why are all these people here? Is it a workday? Cuz if it is, I'm going to get fired. I need a beer!
–G Train
Overheard by: LaughedOutLoud
Guy at cafe: I have pillows just for spooning.
–6th St & 2nd Ave
Chick: That guy ruined loofah-foreplay for an entire nation!
–113th St & Broadway
Overheard by: Ladle
Crazy guy riding on bike: Girl, I would looove to see your bathwater!
–7th & W23rd
Suit on cell: She has a bit of an upset stomach cause we've given her, like, a ton of baths.
–Whole Foods, Houston St
Overheard by: Percival Under Cover
Andre-the-giant-looking guy walking by, on cell: I have to sponge-bath myself down there. It's ridiculous.
–South Street Seaport
Overheard by: kosher dan
30-something suit: Some girls don't take showers… But that doesn't stop me from hittin' em.
–34th St
Overheard by: Kristen
Suit #1: The girl I'm seeing, she likes to wear my shirts.
Suit #2: So?
Suit #1: I think she might be a lesbian.
–Park Place & Broadway
Overheard by: kathcom
Drunk suit: That was one of the top three blowjobs of my life. Maybe even top two.
Drunk date: What about last week?
Drunk suit, unimpressed: The marathon? Oh… yeah.
–Bar, Long Island City
Overheard by: KarinNO
