Teens

Hispanic teen chick: Anyone ever tell you you look like Kevin Bacon?
Ethan Hawke: Yeah… Haha… Uhhh…

–Diner, Abingdon Square

Overheard by: Marco Formosa

Fruit stand guy: Too much papaya! Too much marijuana! Too much cocaine!

–Dean & Court, Cobble Hill

Overheard by: Zach

Asian girl: You’re not following the diet plan! It’s either junk food or no food!

–Stuyvesant High School

Excited teen: Danny! Check out my new MacBook Pro!
Danny: Wow, a Mac? So, now what? You’re going to buy black-rimmed glasses, a shirt from Urban Outfitters, and the new Franz Ferdinand CD?
Excited teen: But… You already have all that stuff.

–Columbia

Teen fan #1 (in line to see Cobra Starship): It's freezing! When are they going to let us in?
Teen fan #2: I know, right? I'm going to get leukemia it's so cold!

–W 16th St

Teen girl #1: How many guys have you slept with?
Teen girl #2: Let’s see… There was the rape — haha, remember that? I don’t count him. Then there were the two guys I had butt sex with. Let’s not count that either. I’d say about nine? I can’t remember the exact number.
Teen girl #1: Oh, you’re fine, then.

–Grand Central

Overheard by: Claire

Teen girl to friend: My mosquito bites hurt so much!
Friend: Mine too! I think I have malaria!
Teen girl: You don't have malaria.

–Grand Central

Teen girl on cell: Yo! Where da fuck you be at?! You come pick us up this fucking second; it’s so fucking cold out here, my twat’s got ice on it!

–Union Square

Teenybopper #1: … So then they started singing ‘Hava Nagila,’ and they lifted her up in the chair and she fell off!
Teenybopper #2: Wait, I’m confused. What’s a Hava Nagila?
Teenybopper #1: It’s like this cultural Jewish song. It’s like the ‘Cotton-eyed Joe’ for Jewish people.

–68th & Broadway

Overheard by: oh dear

Young gay guy in Daisy Dukes, shades and tank top, yammering away on cell: Is it totally acceptable to have sex on the beach there?

–43rd St & 8th Ave

Overheard by: Anna Rose

Teen boy to friend: If I were a giant I'd fuck the Statue of Liberty!

–Houston & Broadway

Overheard by: Henry

Chick to friend: As soon as I get over this yeast infection, I'm gonna bang the shit out of him.

–McDonald's, Times Square

Overheard by: Keep It Movin'

Black guy on cell: Penetration?! Penetration?! It ain't about penetration, it's all about sensation.

–E 4th St

Overheard by: girl named sugar

Drunk man to drunk woman, while making out against a car: Let's just go with it…let's just fuck on top of the car.

–Bleecker & Macdougal

Girl to the guy at the next table: Haven't I slept with you before?

–Stabrucks, 78th & Lexington

Overheard by: Ashlee

Teen girl #1: Do you ever talk to your eggs?
Teen girl #2: Like, fridge eggs or baby eggs?
Teen girl #1: Baby eggs.
Teen girl #2: No?
Teen girl #1: Well, I do. I mean, they might be a baby eventually!

–Brooklyn Tech

Overheard by: Julie