You Should See My Notes for Sexual Anthropology

Teen girl #1: Don’t read it.
Teen boy: Really?
Teen girl #2: It’s so overrated. Everyone’s like “Oh my god, Frankenstien is awesome!” but it’s not. It isn’t. Frankenstein sucks so hard.
Teen girl #1: Victor spends half the book sick, and the monster spends half the book spying on a family with a hot Arabian chick.
Teen boy: What about all the torches and Igor and everything?
Teen girl #2: Not there.
Teen boy: For real?
Teen girl #1: Just a lot of a Swiss guy crying and lying on the floor. I even have it in my notes, “Victor says: ‘When in doubt, pass out!'” And there’s a stick figure giving a thumbs up.

–Forbidden Planet

Posted on April 30, 2019
Books & Writing, Boys, Compare/Contrast, Compliments, Default, Friends, Girls, Questions, Store, Teens, Union Square and East Village

Wednesday One-liners for Sprint Ambassadors

Girl: Wait, what? You have Gandhi on your phone?

–23rd Street F/V station

Overheard by: emma jackson

Posted on April 24, 2019
Anger Management, At the Airport, Drinking & Drunk People, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Money & Class, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Restaurants & Cafes, Stupidity, Teens, The Village, Thugs, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center

I See You Share My Affliction, Brother

Ticket seller: Hey guy! Wanna see a comedy show?
Teenager: Sorry, I was born without a sense of humor.
Ticket seller: Go fuck yourself!

–Times Square

Overheard by: Vinny B

Headline by: Toby

Runners-Up:
· “It Would Have Been Funnier If He Wasn’t an Autistic Hermaphrodite” – Prole
· “Jimmy Fallon Turns Down Tickets to His Own Show” – walty
· “Now *That* Would Be Quite a Show…” – Green Star
· “Really? I Was Born with Tourrettes…” – Chad King

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Posted on April 24, 2019
Headline Contest Winners, Insults, Offers and requests, Teens, Theater & Dance, Times Square, Vendors & Street Performers, Wishes & desires

Wednesday One-Liners Ain't Got the Money, Honey

Older man, to no one in particular: That's why I keep my income low, so no one jumps me.

–Myrtle & Clinton, Brooklyn

Woman with scratch-off lotto card to friend: I won four dollars! I won four dollars! You know I can't spend that, though. I gotta get food for my kids. Those niggas be hungry!

–Staten Island Ferry

Angelic-looking teen girl screaming into cell: Are you coming to the movies with me? You're broke? Just mug someone on the way. Mug someone! (pause) Mug! M-u-g! Rhymes with "thug"!

–Chambers & West St

Puerto Rican dude on cell: I ain't got no money. I got weed, but I ain't got no money.

–25th St & 7th Ave

Village lady: She was in foreclosure before it was fashionable to be in foreclosure.

–Bleecker & Mercer

Posted on April 17, 2019
All Wednesday One-Liners, Brooklyn, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Crime and Punishment, Fashion, Food, Friends, Height, Kids, Men, Money & Class, Movies, Offers and requests, Old People, On Cell, One-liners, Parents, Puerto Ricans, Staten Island Ferry, Store, Teens, The Village, Thievery, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Wednesday One-Liners, Weed, Weirdness, Women, Words

Danger Is the Spice

Teenage boy: I don’t understand! If it’s so tasty, why is it in a neighborhood where people start shooting at each other?

–Fulton & Pearl

Overheard by: bluekale

Posted on April 13, 2019
Shoot, Teens, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport

Total Cunt.

Teenager to friend: Well, her name is Alexandra, and I was not hooking up with her…
Random passerby, interrupting: Yeah, that's right, I once knew a girl named pussy!

–West Houston St

Overheard by: nickwe

Posted on April 12, 2019
Friends, Hook Ups, Names, Strangers, Teens, Vagina, Weirdness, West Village

Boys Take Non-Poking Very Literally

Teen girl: I was so mad at him that I unfriended him on Facebook.
Friend: What does that mean?
Teen girl: I was mad, but not mad enough to break up. This way we can still message each other, but he can't poke me anymore.
Friend: So, technically, would this be symbolic or metaphorical action?
Teen girl: What?
Friend: Nevermind.

–Penn Station

Posted on March 30, 2019
Breaking Up, Default, Facebook, Friends, Girls, Penn Station, Questions, Relationships, Stupidity, Teens

Superpoke! Wednesday Has Thrown a One-Liner at You!

Frustrated stylist on computer: How do you spell "Google"?

–Dramatics Hair Salon

Hot Asian woman: She hasn't even posted her face on Facebook!

–88th & 2nd

Overheard by: Sam H.

Teen to friend: My mom still hasn't Facebooked me back about taking care of my dog.

–Bedford Ave

Overheard by: kayt

Sorority girl: Like…oh my god. We should write about ourselves on Juicy Campus and see what other people say.

–Classroom, NYU

Overheard by: Angela

Middle-aged janitor: You've got to try that internet! It has everything!

–MoMA

Overheard by: Cristina

Posted on March 16, 2019
All Wednesday One-Liners, Asians, Facebook, Family Ties, Fashionistas, Friends, Google, Gossip, Internet, Man's Best Friend, Men, MoMA, NYU, Sorority Girls, Stupidity, Teens, Upper East Side, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Williamsburg, Women, Words

The Eternal Question

Teen boy: No, really, she scares me.
Teen girl: Is that why you tell people you are gay?
Teen boy: What? No!
Teen girl: Are you gay?
Teen boy: I just don’t want to have a girlfriend.
Teen girl: What if she only wanted to have sex?
Teen boy: I am a good person. I have morals.
Teen girl: What if she had bigger boobs?

–R train

Posted on March 14, 2019
Body Parts, Dating, On the Subway, Queers, Sex, Sex & Relationships, Teens

But It’s a Slippery Slope to Eugenics

Teen girl #1: Whoa, are those apples really all in perfect rows?
Teen girl #2: Whole Foods has really out-yuppied itself this time.

–Whole Foods, Columbus Circle

Posted on February 19, 2019
Fruit, Girls, Grocery Stores, Money & Class, Teens

Teens