Teenage Guy: Hahaha, I just put my sac on your arm!
Teenage Girl: What the fuck do you think gives you the right to do that?
Teenage Guy: Well, we’re dating, aren’t we?
–Central Park
Overheard by: Snow White
Teenage Guy: Hahaha, I just put my sac on your arm!
Teenage Girl: What the fuck do you think gives you the right to do that?
Teenage Guy: Well, we’re dating, aren’t we?
–Central Park
Overheard by: Snow White
Teen guy rehearsing: I can’t concentrate on my scene right now.
Teen girl: Oh… I think I know why. Is it because of last night?
Teen guy: Yeah! I can’t believe Delishis won Flavor of Love — it’s been depressing me all day!
–Friends Seminary
Guy: Thanks, ma’am.
Teenage cashier: Did he just call me “ma’am?”? Do I look like a ma’am? I don’t look that old, do I?
Guy: No, no; “ma’am” is a sign of respect, not age.
Teenage cashier: Okay, then.
Guy: Uh, thanks, hot mama.
Teenage cashier: Did he just call me “hot mama”?
–Gourmet Garage, Broadway
Overheard by: Duncan Pflaster
Teen girl #1: Lauren! What is the name of the movie I saw that one time? You know — there was a guy in it. He had, um… hair? He was sad and stuff?
Lauren: Johnny Depp in Edward Scissorhands.
Teen girl #1: Yes! Exactly! Him! He was in another movie. I swear… Um… His hair was different, though, and he had that hat. We should rent that movie.
Lauren: The movie Secret Window will scare you. Your mind can’t take in something like that.
Teen girl #1: Hey! Well, yeah, maybe you’re right.
Teen girl #2, to Lauren: How can you ever tell what she’s talking about?!
Lauren: I can read the minds of idiots. It’s a sad and useless power. Except, of course, in cases like this.
–Central Park
Hipster guy to hipster chick: …and he's like, "I didn't come; why is there so much come all over?" And she's like, "Oh, you're number 23." So he's like, "Oh, okay." And he starts pounding away again!
–Bedford & 11th, Williamsburg
Overheard by: Kaitlen
Woman, with her mouth about an inch from a guy, about to kiss him: I can't, I already had sex with three guys today.
–Grand Central
Overheard by: Derek
Girl to friend: I'm really worried about her. I think she has a serious case of slutism.
–66th & Columbus
Preppy girl on cell: Yeah, so apparently "Happy hour Tuesday" equals "Walk of shame Wednesday." I just wish I could've been working at my job for more than a week before I walked in reeking of shame and spermicide. (pause) Actually, I wish the spermicide thing was true. Then I wouldn't have to drop $50 bucks today on plan B.
–Wall St
Teenage boy on cell: She's still sleeping with my brother. I mean, my brother is sleeping with like ten other girls…but she's in his regular rotation.
–Starbucks, Montague Street
NYU student on cell: But logic doesn't call you back. Logic sleeps with you and leaves in the morning.
–Kimmel Center
Conductor: World Trade Center-bound E train. Next stop — Seventh Avenue.
Teen #1: We have to get off.
Teen #2: Huh… They built the World Trade Center again! Whoa.
–E train
White teen: I don’t think I could date an ugly girl.
Preppy black teen: Yeah…
White teen: I think I’ll just marry a hot one for the sex and cheat on her emotionally with someone who is actually smart.
–Grand Central
14-year-old #1: …a white car with a red stripe. Those are the people that steal shit.
14-year-old #2: They steal shit?
14-year-old #1: Yeah. Or murder. Something.
–Colonial Road & 74th St, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Jon A.
Father to teenage daughter: Oh, well…the party was in Queens.
Daughter: Fuck Queens!
Father, quickly checking calendar on cell phone: Not on Gay Pride Day, honey.
Daughter: Haha! Hang on, I'm going to write that down. I'll use it in a story for my creative writing class!
Father: Oh, don't write it down…it's not even funny. And always remember…if you want your story to be funny, just put in a monkey. It always works for me!
Daughter: Didn't you novel get bad reviews, though? They said it wasn't funny at all.
Father: Well, obviously, I should have written in several more monkeys.
–Tompkins Square Park
(group of black teenagers board the train)
Teenage girl: Goddamn, there are a lot of people on this train.
Middle-aged Mexican woman: How dare you? How dare you! I am a Christian and I will not put up with this. Not on my train. You are disrespecting our Lord and every Christian on this train! God sent his beloved son Jesus down to the earth to save our souls, and I will not put up with hearing you speak against him. I am a Christian and… Nah, I’m just fucking with ‘ya.
–E Train
Overheard by: fusoya
