Guy: Dude, you're pregnant.
Girl: I know…sucks, right?
–Greenwich Village
Guy: Dude, you're pregnant.
Girl: I know…sucks, right?
–Greenwich Village
Guy on cell: Yeah, it’s weird, it feels like I’m still alive.
–W 8th & Broadway
Guy: I still think surprise necrophilia is weird.
–Robert Louis Stevenson School
Overheard by: Lucas
Man to woman companion: I hate single people. They’re all weird.
–90th b/w 2nd & 3rd
Man on cell: February is a weird month for Jews.
–9th St. and 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Hannah
Trader Joe’s employee to another: No, I would not call her weird. It takes a lot for me to call somebody else weird because I am not the most normal person on the planet myself. Meow!
–Trader Joe’s, Union Square
Overheard by: Ingwall
Observant girl: Just because you get weird haircuts doesn’t mean you’re smart.
–Bowery & Rivington
Florist #1 (hanging up the phone) We just got a funeral.
Florist #2: Man or woman?
Florist #1: Man.
Florist #2: Goddammit! We have all these pink roses and nothing we can use them for!
Florist #1: We could always use them and hope that he was a flamer.
–Flower Shop, Greenwich Village
Art teacher: Now you are true students of FIT! Nobody listens to directions!
–FIT
Suit on cell: I don’t know if going through water is resistance or friction, do you? God! I am so tired of doing the kid’s homework!
–46th between 7th & 8th
Female student: I think I’m gonna learn a lot. They were saying things that went, like, right over my head.
–Fordham
Overheard by: Jess McGins
NYU girl on cell: No, I’m not going to waste the credits. I’m just going to fail the class on purpose.
–Bleecker & Mercer
Overheard by: Kristin
Drunk chick: I’m majoring in the doggy-style orgasm.
–Slainte, 1st & Bowery
Overheard by: Genevieve
Professor to class: Most of you are familiar with the breasts of members of the opposite sex who are close to your own age.
–Columbia University Medical Center
Professor: I have no idea what you’re saying, but I know you’re wrong.
–Vanderbilt Hall, NYU
Overheard by: The King Adrock
Girl #1: He called me his girlfriend today.
Girl #2: Really?!
Girl #1: Yeah.
Girl #2: Oh my god, that’s nuts. What did he say?
Girl #1: Well, he described me as his ’20-year-old, beautiful girlfriend.’
Girl #2: Oh my god.
Girl #1: Yeah. I mean, it’s awesome, but I don’t know what that means. He probably just, like, said it because ‘girlfriend’ is a much nicer word than, like, ‘whore.’
–Lafayette & Astor Pl
Bike guy: Well why don’t you shut up, bitch?
Woman: Whatever.
Bike guy: I’ll break my dick off in your mouth.
–Spring between Broadway & Crosby
Guy: So, tell me about this new boy.
Girl: Well, technically I’ve already slept with him.
Guy: Really?
Girl: Remember that orgy? The guy who wasn’t Richard? That was him.
Guy: You know, I wasn’t at that orgy.
–4th & Mercer
Girl #1: Do you want to get some lunch first?
Girl #2: No, I had a huge dinner last night at this new guy’s place and pancakes this morning.
Girl #1: Mmm, where did you get pancakes from?
–10th Street & 6th Avenue
Overheard by: Allis Hellmich
Indian snack counter vendor: What's that on your head, man?
Security guard with ash cross on head, in thick New York accent: It's ash Wednesday.
Indian snack counter vendor, snickering: Okay.
Security guard: Hey, I don't laugh at you guys when you put dots on your heads. You gotta respect other people's beliefs.
–9th St & Broadway
Overheard by: The Chocolate Muffin Sucked
Cabbie #1: Fuck you! Fuck you!
Cabbie #2, getting out of car: No, fuck you! You are the fucking garbage!
Random guy, leaning out window: Shut up! Shut. Up!
Cabbies: Fuck you!
–3rd Ave b/w 9th & 10th
