Chubby guy: Hey! Show me your boobs! No, not the girl. I’m gay, I want to see your man boobs! Come on, show me your boobs!
–Outside Chipotle, 8th St.
Queer: I remember back when I was having orgies with, like, 15 or 20 people. And I was having a lot of fun!
–17th & 7th
Overheard by: Sofia
Yuppie: I don’t google enough.
–F Train, 7th Ave
Overheard by: imaginexrach
Girl on cell: Not being on Facebook is ruining my life!
–NYU Bus
Overheard by: Asian Kid
Assistant on phone, about her 17-year-old daughter’s MySpace page: I find it interesting that she and her friend Shannon have the same friend listed. Some 32-year-old guy in California named Tom!
–Office on 42nd & Madison
Overheard by: herspace
Man: I’m going to go home and e-mail some shameless bitches.
–8th St & Broadway
Grad student at computer, dolefully: Without right-click I just don’t know what to do with the world.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Ladle
Too-cool-for-school-yuppie #1: I can’t believe David Schwimmer didn’t say hello to us!
Too-cool-for-school-yuppie #2: Was it something we said?
Too-cool-for-school-yuppie #1: Maybe he didn’t see us.
–The Village
Overheard by: Surprise, surprise…
Guy #1: So let me get this straight, you were in the car with your mom and your sister and you were put in a sexy mood?
Guy #2: Yes.
Guy #1: Don't you think that's weird?!
Guy #2: No, I don't think they were responsible for the sexy mood.
–The Strand
Overheard by: Sara Swank
Beggar to two girls: Jesus loves you.
Girl #1: No, he doesn't.
Beggar: Yes, he does! Jesus loves everyone!
Girl #2: Yeah, okay.
Beggar: But he does, he loves you!
Girl #1: No, really, he doesn't. She's Jewish.
Beggar: Shit, I'm sorrrry.
–8th & Broadway
Overheard by: Madelyn
Gothic underage-looking stripper: Oh my god we have been looking everywhere for stripper shoes!
More underage-looking gothic stripper: Maybe this is God’s way of telling us not to be strippers.
–Macdougal & Bleecker
Overheard by: Zubin
Hipster girl: So afterwards he was like, “Hold up. Can I just stop in quickly and buy a vibrating cock ring?”
Hipster friend: He did that to me too!
–7th & Greenwich
Overheard by: sounds like a good time
Hipster girl: Come on, grab my boobie. Come on. Be a man. Grab it.
–W 4th St
Overheard by: lucky bastard
Girl: I think it’s “Alzheimer’s”; they’re old but it’s not “Oldsheimer’s”.
–57th and 3rd
Girl: Oh, look how pretty they are! Can we pleeease get a Christmas tree? A little one?
Guy: Uh, no.
Girl: Well, why not?
Guy: Because we’re Jewish.
–Astor Pl & Lafayette
Overheard by: Couple passing by
