Tourists

Tourist boy, seeing group of bagpipers practicing in the rain: What are they doing?
Grandmother: They're playing bagpipes.
Tourist boy: At a time like this?

–Central Park Mall

Overheard by: ReRo

Tourist guy: Excuse me, where can I find Washington Square?
Chick: The park?

–6th Avenue & 8th Street

Police officer to taxi driver: If you just hit one, the rest will scatter.

–Herald Square

Guy to girl, pushing her into the street: Anna versus car, who will win?

–E Houston & Ave D

Overheard by: haha

Tourist to New Yorker: You're not supposed to jaywalk!

–Herald Square

Chick to another: We didn't get hit by a car… Oh well, maybe next time.

–7th & 23rd

Overheard by: Stormy

Guy with stroller to passing car: You hit my baby, I'll take your car!

–Fordham & Hoffman

Overheard by: sromeo

Crossing guard, watching pedestrian cross in a hurry: My money's on the bus!

–Lower Manhattan

Overheard by: Steve

Tourist: Which way to the famous deli?
Cop: Which one?
Tourist: You know, the famous one.

–47th St

Overheard by: cb

Tourist lady #1: I don’t like it here. It feels illegal.
Tourist lady #2: I know. Let’s get back to Times Square.

–Canal & Mercer

Overheard by: garuda

Woman, talking about the Italian feast in Williamsburg: And they have games and rides and food. And at the end of the week they get strong men together to carry the statue.
Tourist: The Statue of Liberty?

–Williamsburg

Overheard by: just the driver

Tourist #1, pointing toward Upper West Side: Is that where the World Trade Center was?
Tourist #2: Yeah, I think so.

–Central Park

Tourist lady #1: Where are we?
Tourist lady #2: Um, duh, we’re at Time Square Street.

–N train

Overheard by: Mikey

Tourist: Excuse me, can you tell me how to get to 37th Street?
Hipster: Seriously?
Tourist: Well, I’m visiting…
Hipster: Look, man… You’re on 42nd Street now. Walk that way, and if the sign says 43rd Street, you’re going the wrong way. Turn around and go the other way. When the numbers go down, you’re going the right way.
Tourist: So, the streets are numerical.
Passerby #1: Jesus Christ!
Passerby #2: Oh, you people stop it! He didn’t know there would be math on his trip to the city.

–42nd & 8th

Asian guy: Are there really this many Israelis in New York?

–61st & 5th

Overheard by: Adam Shprintzen

Tourist girl: What’s a knish? I don’t know about these flavors. Can I get a plain one?

–Yonah Schimmel’s Knishery, Houston Street

White girl: There’s really no difference between gay guys and Jewish guys…Just the hat and a little ass-fucking, but other than that they’re pretty much the same.

–184th & Bennett

Girl: I don’t know if it’s an ego thing or what, but Jews really turn me on!

–French Roast Cafe, West 11th Street

Overheard by: Dottie McFarland