Wednesday One-Liners Aren't That Kind Of Streetwalker

Police officer to taxi driver: If you just hit one, the rest will scatter.

–Herald Square

Guy to girl, pushing her into the street: Anna versus car, who will win?

–E Houston & Ave D

Overheard by: haha

Tourist to New Yorker: You're not supposed to jaywalk!

–Herald Square

Chick to another: We didn't get hit by a car… Oh well, maybe next time.

–7th & 23rd

Overheard by: Stormy

Guy with stroller to passing car: You hit my baby, I'll take your car!

–Fordham & Hoffman

Overheard by: sromeo

Crossing guard, watching pedestrian cross in a hurry: My money's on the bus!

–Lower Manhattan

Overheard by: Steve

Posted on September 29, 2015
Accidents, Advice, All Wednesday One-Liners, Alphabet City, Babies, Cabbies, Cars and Driving, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Cops, Girls, Guys, Lower Manhattan, Money & Class, One-liners, Parents, Parks, Public Transportation, Questions, Strangers, Street, Stupidity, The Bronx, Threats, Tourism, Tourists, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

Oh, That One. It Only Appears Every Hundred Years.

Tourist: Which way to the famous deli?
Cop: Which one?
Tourist: You know, the famous one.

–47th St

Overheard by: cb

Posted on September 26, 2015
Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, NYC Geography, Tourism, Tourists

Where the Only Things Criminal Are the Prices

Tourist lady #1: I don’t like it here. It feels illegal.
Tourist lady #2: I know. Let’s get back to Times Square.

–Canal & Mercer

Overheard by: garuda

Posted on September 24, 2015
NYC Geography, Soho, Tourists

Which, Luckily, is Self-Propelled, as Seen in Ghostbusters 2

Woman, talking about the Italian feast in Williamsburg: And they have games and rides and food. And at the end of the week they get strong men together to carry the statue.
Tourist: The Statue of Liberty?

–Williamsburg

Overheard by: just the driver

Posted on August 27, 2015
Brooklyn, Ethnic Food, Food, Parades & Festitivites, People, Places, Statue of Liberty, Topics, Tourists, Williamsburg, Women

We Know What Happens to Those Who Forget History, But What About Those Who Forget Current Events?

Tourist #1, pointing toward Upper West Side: Is that where the World Trade Center was?
Tourist #2: Yeah, I think so.

–Central Park

Posted on August 20, 2015
Central Park, Ground Zero, NYC Geography, Stupidity, Tourism, Tourists

Between Boardwalk and Park Place

Tourist lady #1: Where are we?
Tourist lady #2: Um, duh, we’re at Time Square Street.

–N train

Overheard by: Mikey

Posted on August 12, 2015
NYC Geography, On the Subway, Tourists

NewsFlash: Man Asks Directions. Scientists Baffled.

Tourist: Excuse me, can you tell me how to get to 37th Street?
Hipster: Seriously?
Tourist: Well, I’m visiting…
Hipster: Look, man… You’re on 42nd Street now. Walk that way, and if the sign says 43rd Street, you’re going the wrong way. Turn around and go the other way. When the numbers go down, you’re going the right way.
Tourist: So, the streets are numerical.
Passerby #1: Jesus Christ!
Passerby #2: Oh, you people stop it! He didn’t know there would be math on his trip to the city.

–42nd & 8th

Posted on August 9, 2015
Ahhh! Real New Yorkers, Directions, Hipsters, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Tourists

Those Jews and Their Wednesday One-liners

Asian guy: Are there really this many Israelis in New York?

–61st & 5th

Overheard by: Adam Shprintzen

Tourist girl: What’s a knish? I don’t know about these flavors. Can I get a plain one?

–Yonah Schimmel’s Knishery, Houston Street

White girl: There’s really no difference between gay guys and Jewish guys…Just the hat and a little ass-fucking, but other than that they’re pretty much the same.

–184th & Bennett

Girl: I don’t know if it’s an ego thing or what, but Jews really turn me on!

–French Roast Cafe, West 11th Street

Overheard by: Dottie McFarland

Posted on August 5, 2015
Asians, Ethnic Food, Girls, Judaism, Manhattan, Race, Restaurants & Cafes, Tourists, Upper East Side

The Wednesday One-Liner That Never Sleeps

20-something girl to friend: I'm sorry, but what is the big fucking deal with eating on the sidewalk? Back courtyard? Sure. Rooftop? Fuck, yeah! But the fucking sidewalk? Homeless people up in my face. Loud trucks up in my ears. Carcinogens up in my lungs. I mean… really? New Yorkers are all fucked up.

–2nd Ave b/w 6th & 7th

Overheard by: Dodd Loomis

Ditzy blond tourist: New York is the most foreign place in America I've ever been to!

–F Train

Overheard by: Chelsea S.

Indian guy on phone: I don't wanna be like the Bengali fob! I'm gonna show up and be like the original New York gangsta!

–B61 Bus

Bar customer to table next to him: I need to visit New York, everyone that visits is always happy. Everyone that lives here in New York is always miserable.

–Chambers St

Little boy, with great excitement: I just tripped in New York City!

–Times Square

Posted on August 2, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Bus, Compare/Contrast, Customers, Desi, Foreigners, Friends, Girls, Gripes, Happiness, Homeless, Insults, Kids, On Cell, On the Bus, On the Subway, One-liners, Only in New York, Physical appearance, Strangers, Street, Times Square, Tourism, Tourists, Travel, Union Square and East Village, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

What You Get for Being Seven Feet Tall

Tourist: Excuse me, but could you please tell me the time?
New Yorker: What do I look like? Big fuckin' Ben or somethin'?

–Broadway

Posted on July 31, 2015
Ahhh! Real New Yorkers, Default, Insults, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Offers and requests, Questions, Time, Tourists

Tourists