Meathead #1: Hey, if we went camping and got really drunk, and you woke up with a used condom in your ass, would you tell anyone?
Meathead #2: Ummmm no. I don't think I would.
(five minutes later)
Meathead #1: Wanna go camping?
–C Train
Meathead #1: Hey, if we went camping and got really drunk, and you woke up with a used condom in your ass, would you tell anyone?
Meathead #2: Ummmm no. I don't think I would.
(five minutes later)
Meathead #1: Wanna go camping?
–C Train
Dude: Mount Olympus is just, like, one giant trailer park.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Jessica
Guy: People in Vietnam are different than us.
–Park & 24th
Overheard by: Sabrina
Girl to friend: Say something in British, or wherever you're from… Switzerland!
–8th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Larry
Supposedly well-traveled woman: But you know where I want to go next? Buenos Aires! They haven't changed to the Euro yet.
–3rd & B
Hipster: I'm going to punch Uzbekistan.
–West 42nd St
Hipster girl to boyfriend: People like you, you're the reason people die in Mexico!
–18th & 1st
Overheard by: Jessica
Hipster boy: I would rather go on vacation than have health insurance.
Hipster girl: Health insurance is like, totally a scam and not real anyway. Not like Belgium.
Hipster boy: Belgium!
–K&M Bar, Williamsburg
Overheard by: Matthew K. Johnson
Guy: I need to go to Europe more often, I kinda compare it to sex, I always come back more relaxed and a little more pleasant to be around.
Girl with him: Gross.
–6 Train
Creepy guy: I was in Japan and went on this rampage and slept with this woman who was 38 and had a kid and was married. Her husband had a bad back and couldn’t have sex with her, but he was fully aware I was sleeping with her. I was kind of doing him a favor.
Creepy guy’s date: Did he watch?
Creepy guy: No, but he wanted us to videotape it. So somewhere in Japan there’s a video of me doing it with an older woman.
–Park Slope
Bookseller to black girl: Hey, stop -I want to get with you.
Black girl: You can’t.
Bookseller: Why not?
Black girl: I got to go.
Bookseller: Where you be Friday night?
Black girl: Jersey.
Bookseller: A’ight. I be there.
Black girl: Too far for you.
Bookseller: I’ll travel for pussy. I’m a travellin’ man for pussy.
Bookseller’s friend: You’d go to Jersey for pussy? That’s some crazy desperate shit.
–Washington Place & 6th Ave
Overheard by: JCo
Large black woman with large black turban: I am a full blooded Navajo Indian, I have the right to be here on this sidewalk!
Cop she’s arguing with: Well, wait a minute. You just said you were going home to Ethiopia. How the hell can you be a Navajo?
–6th Ave b/w 3rd & 4th
Overheard by: Ben Goldman
Hobo: The best way to fight terrorism is not with guns and bombs, but with beer and porno. Beer and porno!
–34th & 3rd
Man walking a black terrier to woman walking a brown terrier: Do you think the word "terrorist" came from the word "terrier"?
–22nd & 2nd
Grand Central loudspeaker: Will Tommy the Terrorist please report to the information desk… Tommy the Terrorist please report to the information desk.
–Grand Central Food Court
Overheard by: Reilly
Black guy: How the fuck can you curse a stadium? With a shirt? How the fuck do you do that? Tell me how that’s done! Y’all warlocks and shit? Ain’t no one can curse no one else. Cause none of you are warlocks! And if you were a fucking warlock why you cursing the fucking Yankees? Fuck, why don’t we curse Bin Laden? Send him a shirt?
–Downtown E Train
Overheard by: Withnail
Mom to child: You’ll either become a terrorist or a smelly homeless person! (child lowers his head in shame)
–113th & Broadway
Overheard by: Passerby
Hobo: Bush is a terrorist. Him and his father blew up WTC. (looks at Asian man) Jackie Chan is my friend. When you go to Hong Kong, tell him I said hi.
–7 Train
Girl #1: We could drive out to New Jersey this weekend.
Guy: I’ll chip in for gas.
Girl #2: I’ll chip in for drugs.
–Pratt Institute
Dude #1: … Yo it was awesome man, she was so hot. It totally made the ski trip worth it.
Dude #2: Look at you, Governor Spitzer, gettin’ some outta town booty.
–Bryant Park
