Wednesday One-Liners, Eh?

Conductor: This is the train from Grand Central to North White Plains. Next stop is Botanic Gardens. We do not go to Canada. Next stop is Botanic Gardens.

–Metro-North Train

Guy with heavy Brooklyn accent: I don't want to go to a place like Canada if I don't know where it is!

–Avenue of the Americas

Overheard by: Mike

20-something preppy boy (yelling into his phone): It's not racist to hate Canadians! Canadians are not a race!

–8th St & 6th Ave

Man on cell: What? He jumped off a bridge? You have to be Canadian to jump off a bridge!

–Times Square

Tourist: Man, I'm way too Canadian for this escalator.

–Grand Central Station

Overheard by: escal-eh?-tor

Posted on September 10, 2008
All Wednesday One-Liners, Boys, Canadians, Compare/Contrast, Conductors, Global Geography, Grand Central, Guys, Men, On Cell, Preppies, Public Transportation, Race, Stupidity, The Village, Times Square, Tourism, Tourists, Travel, Wishes & desires

But I'll Take You As Far As Newark, If It's Okay with My Mom

Girl #1: So, are you going to run away to Europe with me or not?
Girl #2: Depends on when you go.
Girl #1: I said I am running away. As in, never to return. Why the fuck does it matter when we leave?
Girl #2: Okay, I just need to get my passport. Do you think I have to have my parents sign for it?
Girl #1: Never mind, I am running away alone.
Girl #2: Good, I kind of have a life here.

–57th & Broadway

Overheard by: Girl on street

Posted on September 4, 2008
Default, Girls, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Offers and requests, Questions, Time, Travel

The NYC Thought Police Arrested Her on an Anonymous Tip

Woman: Yeah, we just returned from a trip to Pennsylvania, and we were happily surprised to find that the people were normal.
Man: Normal like New Yorkers ?
Woman: Yeah, they didn't seem like they were from Harrisburg at all.

–Forest Ave & Bleecker St, Queens

Posted on August 28, 2008
Ahhh! Real New Yorkers, Compare/Contrast, Default, Men, Queens, Tourism, Travel, U.S. Geography, Women

Can't We Just Have Anonymous Anal at the Gym Like Normal People?

Meathead #1: Hey, if we went camping and got really drunk, and you woke up with a used condom in your ass, would you tell anyone?
Meathead #2: Ummmm no. I don't think I would.
(five minutes later)
Meathead #1: Wanna go camping?

–C Train

Posted on August 26, 2008
Backdoor, Condoms, Default, Drinking & Drunk People, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Leisure, Meatheads, Offers and requests, On the Subway, Travel

Around the World in Wednesday One-Liners

Dude: Mount Olympus is just, like, one giant trailer park.

–Central Park

Overheard by: Jessica

Guy: People in Vietnam are different than us.

–Park & 24th

Overheard by: Sabrina

Girl to friend: Say something in British, or wherever you're from… Switzerland!

–8th St & 6th Ave

Overheard by: Larry

Supposedly well-traveled woman: But you know where I want to go next? Buenos Aires! They haven't changed to the Euro yet.

–3rd & B

Hipster: I'm going to punch Uzbekistan.

–West 42nd St

Hipster girl to boyfriend: People like you, you're the reason people die in Mexico!

–18th & 1st

Overheard by: Jessica

Posted on August 6, 2008
All Wednesday One-Liners, Central Park, Compare/Contrast, Death, Friends, Girlfriends, Girls, Global Geography, Guys, Hipsters, History & Geography, Languages, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Money & Class, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Offers and requests, Stupidity, The Village, Travel, Union Square and East Village, Wishes & desires, Women

Why Darwin Opposed Mandates

Hipster boy: I would rather go on vacation than have health insurance.
Hipster girl: Health insurance is like, totally a scam and not real anyway. Not like Belgium.
Hipster boy: Belgium!

–K&M Bar, Williamsburg

Overheard by: Matthew K. Johnson

Posted on August 2, 2008
Bars & Clubs, Boys, Compare/Contrast, Default, Girls, Health and Hygiene, Hipsters, History & Geography, Travel, Williamsburg

A Whole Continent Left Sticky and Unsatisfied

Guy: I need to go to Europe more often, I kinda compare it to sex, I always come back more relaxed and a little more pleasant to be around.
Girl with him: Gross.

–6 Train

Posted on July 22, 2008
Compare/Contrast, Default, Girls, Global Geography, Guys, On the Subway, Sex, Travel, Wishes & desires

That’s the Only Proof You Ever Had Sex?

Creepy guy: I was in Japan and went on this rampage and slept with this woman who was 38 and had a kid and was married. Her husband had a bad back and couldn’t have sex with her, but he was fully aware I was sleeping with her. I was kind of doing him a favor.
Creepy guy’s date: Did he watch?
Creepy guy: No, but he wanted us to videotape it. So somewhere in Japan there’s a video of me doing it with an older woman.

–Park Slope

Posted on July 19, 2008
Age/Aging, Creepsters, Default, Film, Girls, Global Geography, Guys, Park Slope, Porn, Questions, Travel, Weirdness

It’s No Trouble at All, Robin, When I’ve Got the Pussymobile!

Bookseller to black girl: Hey, stop -I want to get with you.
Black girl: You can’t.
Bookseller: Why not?
Black girl: I got to go.
Bookseller: Where you be Friday night?
Black girl: Jersey.
Bookseller: A’ight. I be there.
Black girl: Too far for you.
Bookseller: I’ll travel for pussy. I’m a travellin’ man for pussy.
Bookseller’s friend: You’d go to Jersey for pussy? That’s some crazy desperate shit.

–Washington Place & 6th Ave

Overheard by: JCo

Posted on June 30, 2008
9 to 5-ers, Black People, Coworkers, Default, Girls, Pick-up Lines, Questions, The Village, Travel, Wishes & desires

Um, Plate Tectonics?

Large black woman with large black turban: I am a full blooded Navajo Indian, I have the right to be here on this sidewalk!
Cop she’s arguing with: Well, wait a minute. You just said you were going home to Ethiopia. How the hell can you be a Navajo?

–6th Ave b/w 3rd & 4th

Overheard by: Ben Goldman

Posted on June 26, 2008
Black People, Compare/Contrast, Cops, Default, Foreigners, Global Geography, Multiculturalism, Overheard Style, Questions, The Village, Travel, Weirdness, Women

Travel