Little boy #1: Where are we going?
Little boy #2: We're walking to Russia.
–33rd & 8th
Overheard by: Miss Sunita
Little boy #1: Where are we going?
Little boy #2: We're walking to Russia.
–33rd & 8th
Overheard by: Miss Sunita
Employee: I was eatin' with my fried Okra and I vomited all over your fetus…and that's why you're so ugly.
–The Strand Bookstore
Overheard by: Dazzle
Girl on cell: Oh, please! That bitch is ugly and her cooch probably smells too, he can have her! Because I don't need him or his greasy ass head or pencil dick. (pause) What? Oh, fuck you also! (hangs up and storms off)
–Columbus Circle
Overheard by: Rich
Serious gay black man on phone: Oh, please honey…there are just so many ugly white women in Europe…it's got to be something in the water!
–45th & 8th Ave
Overheard by: Culturally Challenged
20-something guy on cell: She ain't the prettiest bitch, but she got these crazy little hands.
–Throop & Macon, Bedford-Stuyvesant
Overheard by: elephantgiraffe
Hipster girl: I have ugly friends. I just don't hang out with them on weekends.
–McCarren Park Pool
Overheard by: I don't hang out with ugly people
Attractive tween to friends: And then Lindsay's aunt came into the bathroom to comfort us and said, "pretty people always get blamed for things ugly people do."
–W 65th St. & Columbus Ave
Chick #1: We should go to Montreal some time.
Chick #2: My friend was telling me about this trip he took to Canada. It was like seven hours on the Long Island Rail Road.
–N Train
Girl: So I was in Sweden, right, and we were riding these bikes and I sorta fell off the seat onto the bar underneath it and when I went to the bathroom there was blood in my panties and it really hurt.
Asian chick (yelling): Ohmigod, you totally lost your virginity to a bike.
Girl: Great, now the whole train knows.
–4 Train
Son: It is cold, like Canada!
Mom: You've never been to Canada.
Daughter: Don't talk about Canada.
–Spanish Harlem
Overheard by: Jaina
Country gent with thick drawl: I need tickets for two seniors and two adults, please.
MTA booth worker: Okay, where you goin?
Country gent with thick drawl: My son's house.
MTA booth worker: What train station?
Country gent with thick drawl: I dunno, does “Hartford” sound about right?
–Harlem 125th Street Metro North Station
Tourist #1: I've been in about 40 states so far.
Tourist #2: Wow, that's like half of them!
–Central Park
Overheard by: 1f
Conductor: This is the train from Grand Central to North White Plains. Next stop is Botanic Gardens. We do not go to Canada. Next stop is Botanic Gardens.
–Metro-North Train
Guy with heavy Brooklyn accent: I don't want to go to a place like Canada if I don't know where it is!
–Avenue of the Americas
Overheard by: Mike
20-something preppy boy (yelling into his phone): It's not racist to hate Canadians! Canadians are not a race!
–8th St & 6th Ave
Man on cell: What? He jumped off a bridge? You have to be Canadian to jump off a bridge!
–Times Square
Tourist: Man, I'm way too Canadian for this escalator.
–Grand Central Station
Overheard by: escal-eh?-tor
Girl #1: So, are you going to run away to Europe with me or not?
Girl #2: Depends on when you go.
Girl #1: I said I am running away. As in, never to return. Why the fuck does it matter when we leave?
Girl #2: Okay, I just need to get my passport. Do you think I have to have my parents sign for it?
Girl #1: Never mind, I am running away alone.
Girl #2: Good, I kind of have a life here.
–57th & Broadway
Overheard by: Girl on street
Woman: Yeah, we just returned from a trip to Pennsylvania, and we were happily surprised to find that the people were normal.
Man: Normal like New Yorkers ?
Woman: Yeah, they didn't seem like they were from Harrisburg at all.
–Forest Ave & Bleecker St, Queens
