Girl #1: I know “impactful” isn’t a word, but what would be a word that means that?
Girl #2: Hold on, I’m coming over there. I can’t think in the air.
–9th St & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Laguna
Girl #1: I know “impactful” isn’t a word, but what would be a word that means that?
Girl #2: Hold on, I’m coming over there. I can’t think in the air.
–9th St & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Laguna
Teenage girl #1: I feel so bad so bad for her.
Teenage girl #2: Why? She brought it upon herself, I didn’t tell her to snort that coke, I didn’t tell her to roll up that $20 bill and put it in her nose.
Teenage girl #3: Let’s be honest now, it was probably only $1.
–Forever 21, Union Square
Pretty girl looking in mirror: My eyebrows are too small for my face.
Queer friend: My penis is too small for my ego. We learn to deal with it.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Climate Changer
Global teacher, about review packet: You must look at my package in order to see what’s there!
–History Class, Bronx HS of Science
Overheard by: Lillian
Woman in business suit on cell: Yeah, work is crazy right now because I have a big release coming out next week. (pauses) That’s what he said.
–26th & Park
Overheard by: absnola
Lady in the audience: Which one is Patti LuPone?
–St. James Theater
Dorky older guy to female bank teller (smiling): I’ve got a really big deposit for you.
(teller looks down and starts laughing)
–Chase Bank, 24th & 7th
Overheard by: Joe
Timid Asian deli boy to deli owner: Excuse me, I don’t know how to do number two.
–Deli, Union Square
Black waiter to Asian female customer: Enjoy your black balls.
–Ninja, Hudson St
NYU girl to friend: I mean, I hate him and it’s making my hair fall out but I think our relationship really works.
–Whole Foods, Union Square
Man to friend: She wanted to go to dinner on some kind of date shit. I wanna bring her to a bar and fuck her in the bathroom.
–G Train
Overheard by: Sarah
Fat chick to friends: I don’t know. He moved. We weren’t serious, you know? I mean how can you be serious with a man who wanted to move to an Indian reservation? (friends nod in approval) I mean why would you want to move to an Indian reservation anyway? It’s like the projects… but in camp.
–Casa Mono
Overheard by: foodie
Girl on cell: Oh, so you really like this one. (pause) That’s cool, where did he take you? (pause) Wow, he must be balling! That place is mad expensive, yo. (pause) What did you say his name was again? (pause, then hysterical laughing) Girl, I can’t take anyone named Skip-to-my-Lou seriously!
–32nd St & 5th Ave
Boyfriend to girlfriend: Well, if I get sick of you I’ll just find someone else!
–Movie Theater, 32nd & 8th
Overheard by: Happy I’m not his girlfriend.
Guy on train: Ladies and gentlemen, can I have your attention? Sorry for bothering you, but I’ve been single for a year, and that shit’s not popping… So, any donations of phone numbers, e-mail addresses, or MySpace pages would be greatly appreciated. Thank you and may god bless.
–C Train
Overheard by: gretchen
Punk girl: Can I get a cigarette?
Punk boy: You don’t smoke, do you?
Punk girl: No.
Punk boy: You just wanted a fucking excuse to talk to me, didn’t you?
Punk girl: Not anymore, arrogant cocksucker. (walks away)
Punk boy: Wait! I changed my mind! Come back, I have a cigarette!
–St Mark’s Place
Cute girl: And ew! I can’t believe she slept with her brother!
Attractive, fashionable queer: I know! And he isn’t even that cute.
–St Mark’s Place
Overheard by: paul
(white girl walks past group of black guys)
Black guy #1: Crimes? Crimes? You wanna do some crimes?
Black guy #2: Nah man, you gotta have a computer to do crimes with her.
–4th St & Ave A
Giant rasta to his dick: Man, I know one thing for sure, I ain’t needing no more to drink tonight! I’m trying to enjoy my night with you, Woody. Woody? Woody? You awake, Woody? Man, I needs me one of them diamond pills already?
Onlooker #1: Is he talking to his shit?
Onlooker #2: I’m sure as hell not Woody.
–The Coffee Shop, Union Square
Overheard by: Schreibz
Little girl with Nintendo DS: Mommy, since I can’t sleep in my room tonight, do I still have to help you right now?
Mom: Yes, you can still help.
Little girl: Ugh, fine. Just let me go die.
–Union Square
