White boy #1: I only like to watch girl-on-girl.
White boy #2: What? You don’t like dick in your porn? That’s fucking gay.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Jesse
White boy #1: I only like to watch girl-on-girl.
White boy #2: What? You don’t like dick in your porn? That’s fucking gay.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Jesse
Old guy #1: You want to slap me to death!
Old guy #2: No I don't! I'm not that kind of person!
–St. Mark's Place
Stranger: Hey, big dick!
Black guy: Hey, what's up guy. Not big dick anymore, small dick! (motions with hand)
Stranger: Not what that girl told me last night, haha.
Black guy: Well, alright, take care.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Brandon
Girl #1 to girl #2: Wouldn't you just rather have a night where we just get really high and scissor?
–Grand & Union, Brooklyn
Guy on cell: So they're smoking crack and fucking on his mother's bed!
–17th & 8th Ave
Overheard by: Dave
Little kid: Look, I'm on crack!
–Apple Store, Staten Island Mall
Overheard by: Robert
Junkie to junkie companion, standing in front of Band-Aids: I need to test positive for methadone and negative for everything else…
–Walgreens, Union Square
Hobo on train: Does anyone have any money for me? Any food? Any opium? Lots and lots of opium?
–Uptown 6 Train
Overheard by: left my opium stash at home
20-something blond girl on cell: You just have to convince them that you care more about college than you do about drugs, and they'll give you another chance…that's what I did!
–Chinatown Bus
Overheard by: GavinJoyce
Tourist: So I called her up and said, "Come down or you're going to miss breakfast, and I want to have breakfast with you." And all she said was, "I really like opium." and I was like, "Oh, okay."
–33rd & 7th
Overheard by: EthanK
Hipster #1 (sighing): I'm sorry, I'm just super cracked out right now.
Hipster #2 (pleased): That's good!
–Union Square
Queer: So, I had a great time with Dave last night.
Fruit fly: What’d you guys do?
Queer: He took me to this really great bar, [giggles], and he bought me a drink.
Fruit fly: So, does that mean you’re the girl?
Queer: What?
Fruit fly: So, does that mean you’re the girl?
Queer, offended: Well, not in the bedroom!
–9th & 1st
Guy on phone: His dad’s, like, crazy, and he lives in a house all by himself, and the saddest thing is… the saddest thing is this guy’s dad is even uglier than our dad!
–Waverly Place b/w Mercer & Greene
Woman: Don’t even think about humping your father’s feet!
–President & Columbia
[Before the start of the NYC pillow fight.]Pillow-fighter: I’m gonna beat you all down like you were my daddy! [Hits people with his pillow.] Why weren’t you there, dad, why!?
–Union Square
Guy on cell: Hey dude, my flight has been delayed like an hour, yeah it does suck… [Pause.] Dude, from this point on I’m calling you "daddy". No: "big daddy". Yeah, hey big daddy…
–US Airways Terminal, Laguardia Airport
Little girl pointing at a grizzly bear: Daddy! Daddy!
–Museum of Natural History
Well-dressed bridge & tunnel young girl: I'll have a cosmopolitan.
Bartender: We don't serve cosmos here.
Well-dressed bridge & tunnel young girl: Fine, I'll have a gin and tonic.
Bartender: We've got two types of beer. Light and dark.
(woman pauses in thought)
Bartender: Here, honey. Try the light. It's kind of like a cosmo.
–McSorley's, Bowery & 7th
Guy: So you guys are Jewish?
Girl: Yeah, why?
Guy: Are you from Brooklyn? I live there now, and there are a lot of Jewish people there.
Girl: No, we’re from Staten Island.
Guy: Oh. Are there a lot of Jewish people there?
–Finnerty’s, Union Square area
Overheard by: Becka Dash
Guy: You used to give everybody handjobs.
Girl: I was the master. I didn't know I was that good until I was giving them to everybody.
–Burp Castle, 7th St & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: I didn't get one
