Drunk dude: Wow! Do you know how long I’ve been looking for this nickel?
Drunk girl: What? Since an emergency in 1923?
–Sin-e, Attorney Street
Overheard by: da sarkastik ninja.
Drunk dude: Wow! Do you know how long I’ve been looking for this nickel?
Drunk girl: What? Since an emergency in 1923?
–Sin-e, Attorney Street
Overheard by: da sarkastik ninja.
Woman: But you farted in the hole!
Man: My bad, my bad, my bad!
–Union Square
Realtor #1: New York is a great place to move to. They say if you can’t make it here, you can’t make it anywhere.
Realtor #2: Anthony, that’s not what they say. It goes, “if you can make it here, you can make it anywhere.”
–2nd & Houston
Girl: Damn, when my grandmother see me in this, she gone have a strizzoke!
–Filene’s Basement, Union Square
Geek #1: I mean, who knew that Mickey Rourke could act?
Geek #2: Dude, yeah! I mean, he’s no Steve Guttenberg.
–Forbidden Planet, 13th Street
Girl in stall: Oh, shit, I dropped my phone in the toilet!
The phone rings.
Girl in stall: And how the hell am I supposed to answer that now?!
–2nd Ave Deli bathroom
Overheard by: Rue Silver
HS boy to two friends: Dude, you’d be surprised how many vegetarians are into meaty chicks.
–E train
Man eating salad: Vegetarians should be evolutionarily punished.
–Small diner, Chinatown
Girl to friend: Hey, do you think that the reason he doesn’t like oral sex is because he’s vegan? [Friend is silent.] Yeah, I’m pretty sure that’s it.
–112th, between Broadway & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Gigi
Cougar dining with pals: I’m an animal-lover, so I’m going to get the fish.
–Rue 57, 57th & 6th
Crazy woman: Vegetarians have better sex!
–F/V train stop, Houston & 1st Ave
Overheard by: So, no hot beef injection?
Woman handing out leaflets for veganism: Come on, come on! Vegans have better sex! No, really — try me!
–Columbus Circle
Overheard by: What is she trying to sell here?
Mother: Thas what you gotta watch out for: those assholes.
3-year-old daughter: Okay, Mommy.
–14th & 3rd
Overheard by: Sanandara Bong
Trench coat guy on cell: Are they arresting you?
–72nd & West End
Overheard by: orlum
Woman rushing inside: Oh my god! I was almost an eyewitness to something!
–Viacom building, 44th & Broadway
Overheard by: bonster
Man on cell: I’m sorry to bother you, but I really don’t wanna go to jail…
–S 2nd & Bedford Ave
Overheard by: Are All Criminals So Polite?
Guy: That’s so true! He’ll willingly go to jail just for the free sex!
–Union Square Park
Chick toting a baby: Yeah, but I ain’t qualify fo’ that ’cause of all them felonies I got.
–Ridgewood, Queens
Overheard by: Grytsayo
Ghetto dude on phone: Do you know what I could do with that money? I could get a new pair of pants… or maybe get my hair done.
–Broadway & 86th St
Girl to another: I had this teacher in high school who wore the tightest pants. Camel toe all the time.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Giancarlo
Annoying sober 20-something, returning from bathroom: God! I'm so sweaty, it made it really hard to pull my pants down.
–Diner, 3rd Ave
Teenage girl to another: He came here to do a concert. He probably doesn't want to hear you scream, "Take your pants off!"
–Battery Park
