Upper East Side

Wednesday One-liners Are Hired

Suit: When you’re 25 and you measure your hourly rate in three digits it takes a hell of a lot of grief to not make it worthwhile.

–Union Square

Overheard by: Gabriel Stempinski

Posted on April 12, 2006
Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, JAPs, Jobs & Careers, Manhattan, Masturbation, Money & Class, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Suits, Union Square and East Village, Upper East Side, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport

Here Come the Octuplets

Guy: You want to have lunch with me next week?
Girl: Sure, but not on Monday. I’m getting married.
Guy: You are? Really?
Girl: Yeah.
Guy: To who? Is it Norman?
Girl: No, it’s whoever my dad chose.

–68th Street station

Overheard by: Babs Monroe

Posted on April 7, 2006
Dating, Food, Manhattan, Marriage, Relationships, Sex & Relationships, Upper East Side

WWMJD (What Would Miss J. Do?)

Mom: Honey, smile!
Teen girl: Supermodels don’t smile.

–Central Park

Overheard by: D. Lowy

Girl #1: Let’s take a picture! It’ll be cute! Hee, hee, hee.
Girl #2: No way! I just ate!

–65th & Madison

Overheard by: gabe wigrom

Posted on April 6, 2006
Anger Management, Central Park, Fashion, Food, Jobs & Careers, Manhattan, Parents, Pop Culture, Teens, Upper East Side

Wednesday One-liners Eat Wedding Cake

WASP man: Yeah. I suffered in jail for 16 years with my first wife. My second wife died of cancer after 5 years. I’ve been married to this one a year and a half…Two out of three’s not bad; if this were baseball, I’d be making a mint.

–A train

Overheard by: Lia

Posted on April 5, 2006
Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Crime and Punishment, Etiquette, Fashion, Food, Kink, Manhattan, Marriage, Money & Class, Murray Hill and Gramercy, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Relationships, Sex, Sex & Relationships, Shopping, Stupidity, Suits, Trains Not Subway, Travel, Union Square and East Village, Upper East Side, Yuppies

Wednesday One-liners Need an Adapter

Girl: Do you know they make cameras without film now?

–L train

Posted on April 5, 2006
Asians, Body Parts, College, Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Money & Class, Nerds, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Pop Culture, Stupidity, Suits, Upper East Side, Video Games, Violence

Wednesday One-liners Use the Blue Parking

Teen girl: So I read that article and cried and cried until my Mom was
like, “Stop crying. You’re retarded.”

–1 train

Posted on April 5, 2006
Arts & Letters, Body Parts, Books & Writing, College, Drinking & Drunk People, Fashion, Food, Junk Food & Fast Food, Manhattan, On the Subway, One-liners, Parents, Restaurants & Cafes, Sex & Relationships, Sports, Stupidity, Teens, The Village, Union Square and East Village, Upper East Side, Violence

Carpenter, Not a Mason

Ghetto guy: I meant to say it like dat, dat’s my new ting, the Jamaican vibe.
Girl : Jamaicans don’t talk like that. Weirdo.
Ghetto guy: Yeah, they do. Hater. I tink usa hater, mon! Blocka, blocka, blocka.
Girl: I’m about to swing a block against your head. I know a lot of Jamaicans. They don’t talk like that.
Ghetto guy: I ain’t pickin at ’em. I just like how they talk. And the day you swing a block at my head, you betta know Jesus!

–Chan Library of Fine Arts, East 78th Street