Violence

Jewish girl: She signs up for JDate, goes out to dinner, and is engaged in four months. I sign up for JDate, and I go out to dinner with a duck. What the hell!

–Astoria

Suit on cell: That's what you get when you start dating at age 18 while volunteering in a Croatian refugee camp.

–M66 Bus

Female 30-something suit: Why would you think I don't have taste in men just because I'd do a guy with a hook, or a guy in a wheelchair?

–31st & Crescent, Astoria

Loud woman on cell: It's called "communication," Larry! Communication! You are such an idiot!

–3rd Ave b/w 40th & 41st

Overheard by: Tom

College guy to friend: I don't understand it, man. Every time I go out with this girl, like her vagina is showing.

–8th St & University

Man on cell: 26 years? Damn! After 26 days, I'd be all like, "bitch, I love you and all, but the next word that comes outta yo mouth, I'm gonna have to bash yo head in with a frying pan. I'm sicka hearin' the sound of yo voice!" No, of course I don' mean that, baby.

–JFK Airport

Overheard by: Riot

Girl in Mets jersey: My sister put me on anti-anxiety pills and now I'm gonna kill her!
Guy in Mets jersey: Rad! Go Mets!

–59th St & Roosevelt Ave

Overheard by: Stephen's Wife

Bimbette #1: So, my mom was watching that Saddam Hussein guy get hung.
Bimbette #2: Oh my god! I couldn’t bear to see something that graphic! Ugh! I can’t believe they would air something like that.
Bimbette #1: Oh, dude I know… And to top it off, she was all, ‘This is like a bad gay porno, because he is so fucked’!
Bimbette #2: Wait, who are we talking about, again?

–Subway station, 30th Ave

Teen ghetto chick: How many niggas was they? Like twelve? Do not tell James this shit, do not, ’cause he will be all ovah their asses and after he beat up the Snapple man and got arrested, he needs to stay away from that shit.

–Downtown A train, 145th st

Overheard by: brainygirl

Guy on cell: Get the hell out of here! I just can’t believe that someone would go to a baptism just to start a fight.

–65th & 1st

Woman walking alone in a wedding dress and veil, on cell: Yeah, I got kicked out.

–Penn Station

Overheard by: yum

Man #1, annoyed at being pushed: You don't have to push!
Man #2: Well, it was really crowded.
Woman: Welcome to New York!
Man #1, to woman: Your mother!
Woman: That's mature! What are you, in the 5th grade? Grow up, jerk-off!
Man #1: Suck my dick!
Woman: You don't got one, honey!

–F Train

Overheard by: Alliem

Pissed dude on train: You know, it'd be a lot harder for people to hold the doors if they were razor sharp.
Friend: That's not funny.
Pissed dude: I'm just saying people might hold the doors less if were going to lose a limb every time.

–F Train

Normal guy: So, you know this guy was unarmed…
Crazy beard guy: Sure.
Normal guy: Well, needless to say, people died that night. That’s all I’m sayin’.

–12th & 1st

Overheard by: Heather

Guy: Here’s to 5 inches or less!
Girl: …I really could take that the wrong way.
Guy: I’m talking about the storm!

–Whiskey River, 2nd Avenue

Girl: Yo, so I heard that this guy fell into a hole and was covered with molten steel and died. What a terrible way to die.
Guy: Eh, not so bad.
Girl: Well, what’s worse?
Guy: There was that guy in Germany who cut off this other guy’s penis and then ate it.
Girl: He died?
Guy: Yeah, a man dies when his dick is cut off.

–4 train