Female suit: He’s not even a partner?
Man: Yep.
Female suit: He shushed me and he’s not even a partner!
–Broadway & Wall
Female suit: He’s not even a partner?
Man: Yep.
Female suit: He shushed me and he’s not even a partner!
–Broadway & Wall
Tourist mom with mullet, trying to take a picture of cute five-year old boy: Stand by the testicles, honey. Stand by the balls!
–Wall Street Bull
Overheard by: oh tourists
Suit to street vendor: You spend the money and get blue balls…
–Astor Place
Overheard by: Colin
Guy on cell: Fucking shit! What the fuck? This fucking shit is fucking messed up! (pause) Whatever, mommy… just get me a large, it'll give me more room for my balls.
–97th St & Madison Ave
Big guy in chair on sidewalk to friend: So, I ate a pair of balls last night. Lamb balls. Hot and spicy.
–Heath St & 231st St
Overheard by: Km
Ghetto man to Dunkin' Donuts cashier: Yo, how much is da balls?
–W 148th & Broadway
Teenage tourist #1: Why are American toilets so dirty?
Teenage tourist #2: Because people want to sue.
–Broome Street, Bathroom Line
Overheard by: The Messenger
Fat tourist: Exactly, like, I know Disney trivia, but of course I don't know general trivia.
–Ellis Island
Overheard by: Cat
Female tourist with Irish accent, reading leaflet: Jaysas lads, it only took them 14 months to build this, I wonder if it's okay like.
–Empire State Building
Overheard by: joanie
Tourist gazing up at the Empire State Building: They sure could fit a lotta hay in there!
–Outside Empire State Building
Overheard by: Duppy
Tourist: Where do they keep the cemeteries around here?
–Next to St. Paul's Cemetery/Church
Female tourist: Oh my god, I can't believe we're on the 6… Just like J.Lo.
–Downtown 6 Train
Overheard by: Courtney C.
Overzealous British tourist father, pointing at map: Okay, everyone. We're passing by Madison Square Gardens. They must be lovely at this time of year. We're on the Metropolitan Line, see? The Met Line. Just like in London. We're going to get off at Rector Street. It's the last stop before Brooklyn, so if we miss our stop, we'll be in Brooklyn, and we don't want that! Look, now there are no more numbers. When there are no more numbers in the station names, that means we're at the bottom of the underground. Oh, look, it's Chinatown. This is where all the orientals get off.
–R Line
Overheard by: office peon is one of those Orientals…
Female tourist: Know what? Fuck it, I just want to go back to my hotel room and take a shit.
–Canal St
Jewish guy #1: We should become born-again Christians so people have to get us presents and we can have parties on our born-again birthdays.
Jewish guy #2: That is the worst reason for converting I have ever heard… Wait, no — actually, if we do it, can we have born-again bar mitzvahs?
–South St Seaport
Little girl: I am looking for the rat that we saw eating throw-up. It was… soooo…
Dad: Soooo awesome… I remember!
–Rector & Trinity
Man #1: You have a girlfriend?
Man #2: Yes.
Man #1: She knows you're gay?
Man #2: Yes.
–Financial District
Old man: Hey! No sex in the street.
Teen boy tickling his girlfriend: Sorry, sir.
–Canal St
Girlfriend: Is that a caravan outside Deutsche Bank?
Boyfriend: Pikeys.
–Wall & William
Girl #1: Is that a real fur coat?
Girl #2: Yes, oh my god and this woman started yelling at me this morning. I was like, “Please don’t throw blood on me or something. I don’t hate animals; I have a dog!”
Man: Not around your neck.
–Elevator, Broadway & Dey
