Wednesday One-Linezillas

Teenage bride-to-be on cell: …yeah. But, no, I’m totally ready to walk across the aisle.

–Target, South Bronx

Overheard by: so this is the bronx

Suit: You expect me to spend the rest of my life with only one woman? One woman? One godforsaken woman?

–42nd St & Madison

Hula hoop guy to tourist couple: Sir! I’ll show you! You don’t have to do it, but hula hoops have saved a lot of marriages!

–Washington Square Park

Old woman to imaginary friend: I’d make a great wife, mothafucka!

–F train

Overheard by: Trying Not to Laugh

Girl: Can I do your brother at one of your weddings?

–Monitor St, Brooklyn

Young woman on cell: Well yeah, but he didn’t sleep with your bridesmaids.

–82nd & Lex

Man on cell: Ok, fine! You want to get married?

–Upper West Side

Posted on September 13, 2014
All Wednesday One-Liners, Black People, Brooklyn, Hook Ups, Infidelity, Marriage, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Old People, On Cell, On the Subway, Store, Suits, Teens, The Bronx, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Washington Square Park

What Happens When You Turn Your Mortarboard into a Bong

University official: I confer upon you the degree of Honorary Doctor of Science.
Female undergrad #1: I have no idea what any of that means, but I’m sure it’s important.
Female undergrad #2: Do you know what you’re saying? What you’re talking right now is waves. She invented that.

–NYU commencement, Washington Square Park

Overheard by: Brian

Posted on September 8, 2014
Education, Girls, Intelligentsia, Students, Stupidity, Talking/Convos, Washington Square Park

…But You Need to Say That While Jabbing Her with Sticks

NYU girl to friend: She looks like a lesbian.
Random older man walking by: Aw, don't talk about her like that when she's not around.
NYU girl: But she does!
Random older man: Okay, I believe you.

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: Ramsey

Posted on September 2, 2014
Compare/Contrast, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Gossip, Old People, Sorority Girls, Street, Washington Square Park

It's Important to Motivate the Sales Force

Drug dealer #1 (whispering): Smoke, smoke, smoke.
(passerby keeps walking)
Drug dealer #2 (yelling at drug dealer #1): C'mon, you gotta step your game up! Get that shit out there!

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: willandbeyond

Posted on August 23, 2014
Advice, Business and Commerce, Default, Druggies, Drugs, Offers and requests, Vendors & Street Performers, Washington Square Park

I Didn't Know That Was Possible in Such Tight Jeans

Hipster guy #1: Dude, it's so cold…did you just pee your pants?
Hipster guy #2: I did. I peed my pants, everybody! I peed them!

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: youknowme

Posted on August 23, 2014
Clothing, Guys, Hipsters, Parks, Pee, Questions, Washington Square Park

Like, Ahmadinejad Unfabulous

Bottle blonde: Eww, listen to this: he asked me to have a threesome for his birthday.
Natural blonde: So are you going to do it?
Bottle blonde: Ewwwie! No.
Natural blonde: Yeah…that wouldn't be too fabulous.

–Washington Square Park

Posted on August 10, 2014
Default, Gifts, Girls, Offers and requests, Questions, Three is Company, Washington Square Park

New York is not America

Guy on cell: Yeah, our lives suck but at least John Kerry was elected President. Oh, wait! I have to hang up now and go kill myself.

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: Alice Ayers

Posted on July 18, 2014
Death, Gripes, Guys, On Cell, President, Suicide, Washington Square Park

DIE HACK DIE

Stand-up “Comic”: So did you all hear this? Hitler was gay, apparently.
Heckler: No, Hitler was Jewish!

–Comedy Cellar, MacDougal Street

Overheard by: Chris

Posted on July 12, 2014
Comedians, Hitler/Nazis, Washington Square Park

Those Wacky Republicans

Chick: He’s like an ultraconservative and he was watching Bush’s speech and yelling and saying “You guys don’t know what’s going on!”. It was crazy.

–Washington Square Park

Posted on July 10, 2014
Girls, Politics, President, TV, Washington Square Park, Weirdness

Actually, I Think We Got the Idea…

Stylish woman: Oh my god! This corn flan is amazing. It’s corn…but it’s flan…I can’t even begin to describe it.

–North Square, Waverly Place

Overheard by: Christine M.

Posted on July 7, 2014
Food, Ladies Who Lunch, Washington Square Park