Thin Alcoholics, Though

Waspy girl #1: My mom and I are in a huge fight right now.
Waspy girl #2: Really? That sucks.
Waspy girl #1: Yeah, especially because to punish me she's taking me shopping.
Waspy girl #2: What?
Waspy girl #1: We go to all these stores and she makes me try on all these clothes while she makes comments about how fat I'm getting. And then she doesn't buy me anything because according to her I'm a whale.
Waspy girl #2: Wow.
Waspy girl #1: Yeah, I know. And people wonder why Wasps tend to be such alcoholics.

–Metro-North Train

Posted on November 23, 2009
Animals & Nature, Clothing, Compare/Contrast, Crime and Punishment, Diet/Weight, Drinking & Drunk People, Girls, Parents, Physical appearance, Race, Shopping, Trains Not Subway, Weirdness, White People

Tracy Chapman's Been Saying That Since 1988

Bag lady to white guy whistling “When the Saints Go Marching In”: Damn, nigger, that's my jam!
Guy: I'm… Ummm… sorry?
Bag lady: Yeah? Fuck you too!
(guy and girl walk away)
Bag lady: Shit, I gotta get outta this town and get my own place!

–L Train

Overheard by: The Music Man

Posted on November 7, 2009
Bag ladies, Crazy, Girls, Guys, Insults, On the Subway, Singing, White People

As Part Of My Installation Piece.

Disheveled white female to two male black space-art painters: You gotta know Nate!
(no response from men) I took out his eyes and his dick.

–E 8th b/w Broadway & Astor

Overheard by: No clue what that actually meant

Posted on October 23, 2009
Artists, Black People, Body Parts, Crazies, Penis, Violence, Weirdness, White People

Where's Wednesday One-Liner's Busy Bee? It Needs Its Busy Bee!!

Crazy older guy to lady in park with barking dog: Lady, you keep that dog quiet! That dog is better-looking than you are.

–W 63rd & West End

Overheard by: Beez and Newb

Guy in red shirt: You make me feel so pedophilic when I tell you about violating my dog.

–Central Park

Man on cell: You're always saying your dog is sick! "My dog has diarrhea! I can't come out!"

–Fulton & Broadway

Overheard by: would you rather she have it?

Black kid to white couple walking poodle: I've only seen dogs like that in movies.

–Harlem

Overheard by: Poodle Lady

Girl on cell: So I'm getting off the a and I see this tall girl and I know her! So I'm like "Sarah?" and she's like "I haven't seen you since middle school!" and she cut all her hair off and she's like "When did you dye your hair black?" and my hair's soooo not black! But I saw Sarah! You know, the one whose cat tried to eat my toes off that one time! So we talked and then there was this lady who was totally tossing chow all over the place! Hello! Trash can right there—hold up, I gotta go, I see a Weiner dog!

–72nd St & Central Park West

Posted on October 7, 2009
Beastiality, Beauty, Black People, Body Parts, Central Park, Colors, Compare/Contrast, Couples, Crazies, Elementary & Middle School, Film, Gay Man's Best Friend, Girls, Guys, Hair, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Illness, Kids, Man's Best Friend, Men, Movies, Old People, On Cell, One-liners, Parks, Physical appearance, Rape, Robbing the Cradle, Street, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Wednesday One-Liners, White People, Women

I'm Getting You a Cell Phone

Little boy: When we leave, how do we know how to get home?
Waspy mommy: Oh! C'mon sweetie, you know our street don't you?
Little boy: Uptown!

–Saks

Overheard by: smith

Posted on October 5, 2009
Directions, Home, Sweet Home, Kids, Moms, Parents, Questions, Store, White People

You Have No Idea What's in My Trunk

Black lady, as white lady opens trunk of parked BMW: Dammmmn, girl, that's a hot BM!
White woman: Thanks.

–East Harlem

Overheard by: iseecdctrucks.com

Posted on October 5, 2009
Black People, Cars and Driving, Compliments, Harlem & Morningside Heights, White People, Women

Wednesday One-Liners Love You Long Time

Cop to 7-Eleven employee: Man, I saw the hottest hooker last night!

–23rd St

White guy: People in Boston really like whoremongering, I guess.

–Park Slope

Overheard by: Ladle

Man on cell: But I'm the best escort in the country!

–Chelsea

Man on cell: I used to pay for hookers.

–10th St & 2nd Ave

Overheard by: nomo

Man on phone: The Caribbean thing… No, not the prostitute.

–Fulton St

Thugette to boyfriend: You don't have to go to Vegas to get a hooker, honey, you can just go to Atlantic City.

–Staten Island Ferry

Posted on September 23, 2009
Advice, All Wednesday One-Liners, Boyfriends, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Clerks, Compare/Contrast, Cops, Ferry, Guys, Men, Money & Class, On Cell, One-liners, Park Slope, Prostitution, Staten Island Ferry, Street, Thugs, Travel, Union Square and East Village, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, White People

She's on the WTC Rebuilding Committee

White man: That hot chocolate slowed my cognitive functioning.
Black woman: Better slow than fast minute-man honky.

–Webster Hall

Overheard by: chinese new year

Posted on September 21, 2009
Bars & Clubs, Black People, Compare/Contrast, Horny, Men, Race, Sensory Experiences, Union Square and East Village, White People, Women

Which Is Why I Don't Return Susan Sarandon's Calls

White guy: So Lauren is coming with us on the trip.
Korean guy: Lauren? She's got the crazy eyes!
White guy: Crazy eyes?
Korean guy: Yeah, you can't trust a girl with the crazy eyes.

–Union Square

Overheard by: Sherlock N Holmes

Posted on September 19, 2009
Crazy, Koreans, Travel, Union Square and East Village, White People

White People