Japanese student/tourist seemingly waiting for luggage: How long are you in New York for?
Woman waiting for luggage: Just for one night. I'm here for a conference and then I'm flying back tomorrow.
Japanese student/tourist: This is my fall break. I will be here through Tuesday.
Woman: That's nice. I hope you go out and have a nice time.
Japanese student/tourist: Yes. (pause) Sex.
–JFK Airport
Guy on cell: Yeah, it’s weird, it feels like I’m still alive.
–W 8th & Broadway
Guy: I still think surprise necrophilia is weird.
–Robert Louis Stevenson School
Overheard by: Lucas
Man to woman companion: I hate single people. They’re all weird.
–90th b/w 2nd & 3rd
Man on cell: February is a weird month for Jews.
–9th St. and 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Hannah
Trader Joe’s employee to another: No, I would not call her weird. It takes a lot for me to call somebody else weird because I am not the most normal person on the planet myself. Meow!
–Trader Joe’s, Union Square
Overheard by: Ingwall
Observant girl: Just because you get weird haircuts doesn’t mean you’re smart.
–Bowery & Rivington
Middle-aged woman #1: Well… They make very good friends.
Middle-aged woman #2: And fashion advisors!
–Ladies Room, Theater
Overheard by: Hannah
Concerned woman: I just worry that the Messiah will come and I won't be Jewish yet.
Friend: Mmm…
Concerned woman: I mean, I just really hope I'm Jewish by next Yom Kippur.
Friend: Yeah.
–F Train
Overheard by: dee
Beautiful woman #1: I learned to scream out lies over the phone.
Beautiful woman #2: I know what you mean.
–Columbus & 71st St
Overheard by: chocolate happy
Woman #1: Oh, the hell I had to go through with that fucker for this Tiffany!
Woman #2: I know.
–E 41st St & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: penetrode
Man to woman: You wouldn't procreate with Boomer Esiason, even though he's the king of Cincinnati?
–Deli, Canal & Hudson
Overheard by: Uncle Bling
Man on cell: Elvis made ten million dollars last year and he's dead. There's no reason I can't make a thousand.
–Park Slope
Hipster: I like Steve Buscemi a lot more than I like you.
–Life Cafe, Bushwick
Overheard by: D
Woman in Southern accent to man: Look, the McGraw-Hill building. Tim McGraw and Faith Hill must own that building!
–W 49th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Michael
Middle aged white man to friend: I finally figured it out. "Mystikal" sounds like a constipated Samuel L. Jackson.
–LIRR
Rich girl: I went to Forever21 and bought a dress. Then I stole some sunglasses and other accessories along with it, cause you know, times are rough.
–Metro-North Rail
Run-down-looking middle-aged guy: I got my phone stolen. Uh-huh. No, it wasn't even a trick, it was a friend!
–Home Depot, 23rd St
Overheard by: STC
Very loud child at display of cars to mother in line: It's okay, mom! You don't need to buy one for me. I can just take one and run out. Maybe even two, easy!
–Rite Aid, Brooklyn
Overheard by: oneofmanymikes
Shopping lady to friend: It's okay to steal but it's not okay to be gay.
–94th & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: venniblue
Girl on phone: So you actually caught him stealing from you? (pause) Okay. (pause) Well, you didn't want that anyway. So you're still going to fuck him, right?
–Broadway & 21st St
Woman #1: I don’t care what kinda shit he was talkin’ about. That motherfucker was out of his mind!
Woman #2, motioning to small children nearby: Stop cursing.
Woman #1: Oh shit, I’m sorry.
–34th St N/R platform
Overheard by: jazzystar69
Kid: Mama! Can I get these chips?
Woman: Uh-uh! That shit is a dollar! That means no change! Put it back! [Turns to friend] I can’t believe these damn kids with my fuckin’ money! I work eight days a week! And I ain’t suckin’ no dick!
Friend: Mmm-hm.
–145th St & Edgecombe Ave
Overheard by: Sam
