Woman #1, pushing stroller: Where are all the Halloween decorations?
Woman #2: Halloween? It's like… October 5th. Isn't it a little early for Halloween?
–Christmas Decorations Aisle, Michael's Crafts, Columbus Ave
Overheard by: Fiammetta
Woman #1, pushing stroller: Where are all the Halloween decorations?
Woman #2: Halloween? It's like… October 5th. Isn't it a little early for Halloween?
–Christmas Decorations Aisle, Michael's Crafts, Columbus Ave
Overheard by: Fiammetta
Lady to young man: Excuse me, sir, I just lost my wallet…
Young man (interrupting): And you need a dollar to get a bus home?
(lady says nothing and walks off)
–14th St b/w 2nd & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: I love Artichoke!
Headline by: Allison
Runners-Up:
· “Actually I Was Hoping for Your Emergency Condom” – “Jimmy” Wrapper
· “Asshat Misses Chance at Cheap BJ” – Leary Blaine
· “Ladies Get Turned Off by Todd’s Premature Speculation Problem” – FizzyGurrl
· “Maybe She’s Afraid Of Psychics” – tedric
· “Psh, Like Buses Only Cost a Dollar” – samson
· “They Give You More If You Just Call It a “Bailout”” – stimulated economy
· “This Might Have Worked Better If They Hadn’t Already Been on the Bus” – KateNonymous
Woman: I can’t tell Matt Dillon and his brother apart.
Man: I know! I thought it was Matt Dillon on Entourage.
Woman: It is Matt Dillon on Entourage.
Man: No, it’s his brother!
Woman: Nooo, it’s Matt Dillon…
Man: Wait, is it?
–1 train, 14th St
Overheard by:
Woman #1: Were your parents Buddhists?
Woman #2: No, they just went through some rough times.
–Forest Park, Queens
Knitting girl: Don't let your drunk girlfriend name your cat, because eventually you will break up with her and then you'll have a cat with a stupid name.
–The Point Knitting Cafe
Overheard by: Heather
Woman coming out of restroom, holding a bottle of liquid soap: You gotta keep the cat clean!
–NYU Hospital
Overheard by: A nurse who wish she wasn't sometimes!!
Female tourist, to herself: There are nine ways to skin a cat, and I know all of them.
–23rd & 8th
Man to woman, arguing: Fuck you, Nina, that's the point. You're not taking my cat!
–Central Park
Old man to friend, during lunch: I don't like cats' attitudes. Unlike dogs, they can be so aloof. Especially to Jews…
–Deli, 1st Ave
Overheard by: Allison
Drunk Hispanic teen: How do I get to Times Square?
Older white lady: I am not sure… Maybe two stops. [Teen whispers to her.] Good Lord, no! I am old enough to be your mother!
–F train, 57th St
Saleslady #1: She says she’s shitting again. She’s been in there for like 20 minutes.
Saleslady #2: I swear, that girl don’t know how to work.
–Daffy’s
Overheard by: amused tourist
20-something woman to friend: Man, can I just tell you how absolutely bizarre coffee shop conversations are in this area?! I am never ever getting married if this is the sort of stuff married women talk about all day.
–Smith & Bergan
Overheard by: Mako Shark
30-something to older woman: I can’t get married yet! I haven’t experienced even… half of the women in the world yet!
–86th & Broadway
Overheard by: Carol
Tween boy getting into the face of another tween boy: (loudly) I’ll be your fucking wife!
–Morgan’s Market
Overheard by: Akiko
Little boy: We saw a peanut marrying a princess!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: blue
Girl to friends: I think my husband’s gonna divorce me now that gay marriage is legal.
–N10th & Bedford Ave, Williamsburg
Overheard by: Non Hipster
Woman in a wedding dress and veil, on cell: Yeah, I got kicked out.
–Penn Station
Woman: I’m getting married.
Man she just met: Oh, congratulations! When is the wedding?
Woman: When I find a man who wants to marry me.
–DMV License Xpress, 34th & 8th
Overheard by: Irritated Eavesdropper
Pretty 20-something girl: I might reconsider if there is a horse involved.
–Manhattan Beach
Overheard by: The Tutors
Girl to friend: Look at sociology. Look at the animals. That totally explains it. It is just like the animals, sociology explains everything.
–West 4th & Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Darci
Woman to man: Because I'd really like to understand what makes a good toreador and what makes a bad toreador.
–70th St & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Lisa B.
Girl who was just handed an anti-bird-porn flyer: I have never even seen birds mating. Now I am intrigued.
–Hair Rush Line Central Park
Overheard by: Krysta
Pet store clerk to customer: I don't know what flavor it is. It's turtle food. It's what they eat.
–Flushing Petland Discount
Park janitor to pigeons: I need all's you guys to be flappin' yo' wings and help me be cleanin' up these leaves. (pigeons coo, janitor starts cooing with them)
–Clinton & Congress, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Was a good impression
