Old man #1: It was uplifting.
Old man #2: Dead babies?
–Cranberry Cafe
Overheard by: Jordan
Old man #1: It was uplifting.
Old man #2: Dead babies?
–Cranberry Cafe
Overheard by: Jordan
Gay man: Now that everything is lesbian, bi and transgender, I don't know if I can lead the committee anymore, 'cause I've got my gay male privilege.
–W 13th St
Man with clipboard: Do you have a moment for gay rights? (silence) C'mon, help support the people that made your clothes!
–10th St & 5th Ave
Overheard by: You mean 10-year olds in Honduras?
Thug teenage dad, about baby staring at effeminate Asian man: Oh shit, she's already got her gaydar on.
–4 Train
Chick to friends: I would be like the sluttiest gay guy and it would be totally awesome.
–Christopher St
Man: …and you know there are a ton of gays who have no problem taking it straight up the ass.
–Times Square
11-year-old thuggish boy: No homo, but he looks better than his sister.
–Bronx Playground
Black guy: I'm gay! I'm proud! I'm in the front seat! I'm gay! I'm proud! I'm in the front seat! I love guys!
–Union St & 8th Ave, Brooklyn
Girl #1: Did you know babies have natural reflexes? Like, if you stick your finger in their hand, they'll grab it, and if you try to pull it away, they'll hold on to it for like a minute.
Girl #2: Did you know if you punch a baby in the face, it'll cry?
–Columbia University
Overheard by: mkb
Teacher: In France and Canada the governments are actually offering money to people who have more children.
Student: What if your baby, like, exploded or something? Would they take the money back?
–Notre Dame Academy, Staten Island
Overheard by: What?!
Keen observer: That woman’s not pregnant; she’s just real old.
–Bleecker & Bowery
Overheard by: Poetgirl
Woman holding baby: You don’t understand why I’m upset when, after I deliver your 10-pound baby, you take another woman to a wine bar?
–4th & Macdougal
Overheard by: kevin
Woman: Being pregnant is like slowly drinking a bottle of ipecac.
–52nd & Ave of the Americas
Five year old: This baby stuff is boring!
–Labor & Delivery, Our Lady of Mercy Medical Center, the Bronx
Overheard by: Hobo Whisperer
Douchebag: I swear to God, if some girl I was fucking got knocked up, I would kill myself. Well, I would kill myself and then I would punch her in the face…Fuck, if she got pregnant, I would tear that baby out with a fork!
–Metro-North
Hipster: I don’t care about getting married. I just want to get pregnant so I can see my gynecologist more often.
–Alma, Red Hook, Brooklyn
Professor guy: I’m sure all of you have seen a photo of Babe Ruth and would be able to recognize him. his autograph is worth almost as much as Abraham Lincoln’s is.
Swedish girl #1: I don’t know what a Babe Ruth is?
Swedish girl #2: Oh, he’s a famous baby.
–New School University, 13th & 5th
Black hobo to young tourist couple with baby: Mmmmmmmmmmm… That's a nice lookin' baby! You must've done good that night… or morning. (laughs)
Father: Uh… haha… yeah.
Black hobo: I need to find me a white lady so I can make me a Barack Obama. Mmm-hmm!
–Uptown 6 Train
Overheard by: Emily
Boy #1: Suck my dick!
Boy #2: Fuck you!
Boy #1: Suck my dick! I had sex with your mother (long pause) she had… a little baby!
–Graham Ave & Ainslie St, Williamsburg
Guy, to chick: Yeah, yeah, you are definitely less pregnant than last time we hung out.
–Chrystie & Delancey
Overheard by: lauren
Teen girl #1: Ooh, you know what I’m gonna name my first baby?
Teen girl #2: What?
Teen girl #1: Nuh-vey-uh.
Teen girl #2: What is that?
Teen girl #1: It’s Heaven backwards. It’s so good because nobody ever thought of that before.
–6 train
Overheard by: Alex C
