Girl #1: What’s cunnilingus?
Girl #2: It’s like when a guy blows you.
Girl #1: It’s a gay blow job?
–B44 bus
Overheard by: Sergey
Girl #1: What’s cunnilingus?
Girl #2: It’s like when a guy blows you.
Girl #1: It’s a gay blow job?
–B44 bus
Overheard by: Sergey
Angry rider after missing a stop: Why can’t you just pull over? You was only like this far away?
Bus driver: I can only stop at designated stops, I’m sorry.
Angry rider: You could have stopped, you just wanted to be a dick.
Bus driver: Yeah, you would know — you suck enough of it.
–BX9 bus
Overheard by: Don’t know much about it
Wholesome-looking man, walking with several families with kids and carrying a cross: Jesus Christ died for our sins today so that we can all give blowjobs whenever we want!
–Union Square
Girl with food: Do you think I'll get on the JumboTron if I deep throat this pickle?
–MSG: Rangers – Caps Playoff Game
40-something, during high school reunion: How dare you tell my husband I gave you a blowjob? I was a virgin in high school!
–Outside Jake's Dillemma
Women on cell: I told him, if he didn't start shampooing his pubes I would stop blowing him!
–14th St & 9th Ave
Middle-aged Romanian: I heard he gives better BJs than Santa Claus!
–Astoria
Overheard by: Crazy Romanians
Male suit: See, look at her! (points at woman on BlackBerry) Women are more likely to get killed while texting than men. Men are always aware of their surroundings.
Female suit: No, men just can't walk and text at the same time. Women are better at multi-tasking.
Male suit: Alright, since you're so good at multi-tasking, suck my dick and make me a sandwich.
Female suit: I've got news for you. If you keep eating sandwiches, even hookers won't want to suck your dick.
–Broadway & Astor Place
Overheard by: Ashley
Loud woman on cell: I suck your dick and we can't be Facebook friends?
–20th St & 6th Ave
Guy to buddies in the passing Skyfari car: Yo, that building over there… That's the building where I got that $5 blowjob.
–Skyfari, Bronx Zoo
Overheard by: Stefan Yonker
Young man, dismissively: I could fucking suck cocks for a living, it doesn't matter!
–St. Mark's Place & 2nd Ave
Middle schooler, wrestling in Aids memorial: Ooops, I sucked your dick!
–Hudson River Park
Overheard by: Nina & Phil
Middle-school girl to mother: My e-mail password is "blowjob".
–L Train
Boyfriend: Mmmm… Coffee…
Preggers girlfriend: What?! You got coffee? Give me a sip…
Boyfriend: No, baby… No caffeine for you…
Preggers girlfriend, trying to wrestle cup away: Just a sip? Pleeease?!
Boyfriend: No! Bad for the baby…
Preggers girlfriend: I’ll suck your dick for a sip! [Boyfriend immediately hands the cup over.]
–Times Square
Overheard by: Mike
Girl: I was so wasted last night. I think I gave a blowjob to a hobo in the park.
–St. Marks & 2nd
Overheard by: Constantino
Woman: We've got snacks in the office, if you like. It's very convenient having Costco nearby.
Man: Oh, that's great! I just recently discovered BJs with my girlfriend.
–Sunset Park, Brooklyn
Guy #1: Oh, that really sucks. So she wouldn’t even blow you? After all that?
Guy #2: Nope.
Guy #1: Did she at least finish putting up those shelves in your closet?
–51st & 2nd
Overheard by: Kiere Walker
British girl: What were you just talking about?
Queer: Oh, we’re talking about hypothetical blowjobs.
British girl: Whatever. I don’t have time for hypotheticals anymore.
–BBQ, DeKalb & Clermont
