Boyfriend: Mmmm… Coffee…
Preggers girlfriend: What?! You got coffee? Give me a sip…
Boyfriend: No, baby… No caffeine for you…
Preggers girlfriend, trying to wrestle cup away: Just a sip? Pleeease?!
Boyfriend: No! Bad for the baby…
Preggers girlfriend: I’ll suck your dick for a sip! [Boyfriend immediately hands the cup over.]
–Times Square
Overheard by: Mike
Girl: I was so wasted last night. I think I gave a blowjob to a hobo in the park.
–St. Marks & 2nd
Overheard by: Constantino
Woman: We've got snacks in the office, if you like. It's very convenient having Costco nearby.
Man: Oh, that's great! I just recently discovered BJs with my girlfriend.
–Sunset Park, Brooklyn
Guy #1: Oh, that really sucks. So she wouldn’t even blow you? After all that?
Guy #2: Nope.
Guy #1: Did she at least finish putting up those shelves in your closet?
–51st & 2nd
Overheard by: Kiere Walker
British girl: What were you just talking about?
Queer: Oh, we’re talking about hypothetical blowjobs.
British girl: Whatever. I don’t have time for hypotheticals anymore.
–BBQ, DeKalb & Clermont
Meathead #1: I am so getting my dick sucked by the end of the day.
Meathead #2: I'll make sure of it, dude.
Meathead #1: (silence)
–Grand Central
Overheard by: DrNels
Teenage girl: But she sucks a lot of dick for money!
Teenage boy: At least she’s getting paid! You suck a lot of dick for free! Who’s the winner in that situation?
–153rd St & Amsterdam Ave
Overheard by: Emily
NYU guy #1: You know it's impossible to swallow a whole teaspoon of cinnamon?
NYU guy #2: Wait, why not?
NYU guy #1: Because it accumulates into clumps and dries up your mouth.
NYU guy #2: Oh, cinnamon! I thought you said “semen.” I was going to be like “Yes you can!”
–3rd Ave & 11th St
Woman #1: Ever since she left the church, there’s a big hole in her life.
Woman #2: Which she fills with cock.
–MoMA
Overheard by: Luc
Well-dressed British man on cell, as he walks oddly: Listen girl, I farted so hard yesterday I blasted half my ass off. (pause) No, seriously! I am still walking funny!
–24th St b/w 6th & 7th
Overheard by: Joseph
Teenage boy to another: One time this hot bitch farted on my lap, and I didn't know what to do.
–12th St & University Place
Crazy hobo sitting on blanket: I used to wear underwear, but then I farted and left a stain, so decided no more. Can anyone spare any change?
–87th & Broadway
Overheard by: Nynanny
Girl from Louisiana: What can I say? I'm a Southern girl. I fart crawfish.
–McLean Ave, Yonkers
Woman on phone: Well, the romance is out of my life: this morning Greg came in my mouth, then straight away leaned back and farted.
–Beard St & Van Brunt St, Brooklyn
Overheard by: craig hunter
