Sleazeball: I don’t want to break up; I want to sleep with someone else.
–Penang, UWS
Overheard by: Phyllis Overstreet
Sleazeball: I don’t want to break up; I want to sleep with someone else.
–Penang, UWS
Overheard by: Phyllis Overstreet
Guy on cell, to girlfriend: I have such a headache in my balls right now.
–49th St & 10th Ave
Overheard by: Michael
Very drunk boyfriend to drunk girlfriend: If you can't stay here, talk to me and make this right! I'm gonna have to be a man, grow some balls and leave you!
–140th St & Broadway
Man on crowded sidewalk: Balls to butts, people. Balls to butts.
–Times Square
Girl to friends: I'd totally teabag him, but I don't got no balls.
–Brooklyn Heights
Girl on cell: Yeah, the breakup was tough, but I'm feeling good about it now! (pause) Hell, yes, I'm dating! (pause) Yeah, it's an exciting time! So much suspense, so many questions! Will he call me? Whom should I choose? Does he like me? Do I have syphilis?
–M4 Bus
Overheard by: All good questions
Drunk gay guy who just dropped lit cigarette: Shit! If I pick this up, do I have herpes?
–Waverly & University Place
Guy to friend: Nietzsche had syphilis… Why can't I?
–G Train
Woman at newsstand: Do you sell anything for herpes and cold sores?
–W 4th St
Overheard by: wow…i didnt kno they sold that her
Gay man to girlfriend: Is Mr Syphilis coming?
–24th & 2nd
Overheard by: erkala
Teen #1: Yo, she said she was gonna break up with me 'cuz I didn't sleep with her that night.
Teen #2: So, you broke up?
Teen #1: Nah. I'm going to her place after school tomorrow.
Teen #2: I can't believe you didn't hit that.
Teen #3: Yo, even Patton had to retreat before he took Berlin.
(silence)
Teen #1: Dude… What the fuck?
–Montague Street, Brooklyn
Woman in therapy: So I don't know, I really liked her.
Therapist: Well, did you talk to her about it?
Woman: No, the bitch doesn't call me anymore, she does yoga now. We used to go to Star Trek conventions together, but she stopped talking to me. I don't even care about that bitch anymore.
Therapist: You know, she's not a bitch just because she doesn't want to talk to you!
Woman: Yes she is, I don't even care.
–Forest Hills
Overheard by: They need a sound machine
Suit #1: So if he was so great, why did you break up with him?
Suit #2: He was apparently trying to build a consensus among my friends that he gives great head.
–Evolve Bar, E 58th St
Female teenage hood rat #1: Yeah, he broke up with her. She was too quiet all the time, too soft.
Female teenage hood rat #2: (mumbles incoherently)
Female teenage hood rat #1: Yeah, now he wants to kick her ass.
–Q4 Bus, Queens
Drunk Southern chick: And I knew that when he said “fuck you” it was over… You'd never say that to me, would you?
Sober Southern guy: (stares blankly)
Drunk Southern chick: Yeah, I know you would.
–Lower East Side
Overheard by: I Agree With Him
Girl #1: So I should just break up with him over e-mail?
Girl #2: Yeah, this is New York, transportation's not easy!
–Park Ave & 42nd St
Overheard by: Anna De Souza
Girl #1: Yeah, so my new boyfriend peed my bed the first night. After the second time, I broke up with him.
Girl #2: Good move. My motto is: “Pee my bed once, shame on you. Pee my bed twice, shame on me.”
–Union Square Park
Overheard by: C.Terjesen
