Wednesday One-Liners Paint with All the Colors Of the Wind

Young guy: If I see another blue penis it would be too soon!

–42nd St

Overheard by: alecko

Girl on cell: She just bought a merkin… It was pink, you know, to match her hair. (pause) Would you want to rub toxic dye down there?

–Williamsburg

Girl to another: Just because he is wearing a different colored shirt, he's still the same guy.

–Central Park

Flamboyant guy, shouting to girl in very short orange dress: I have that same orange dress in purple!

–South Street Seaport

Overheard by: Green Star

Mother to four-year-old wearing pink shirt and shoes: Not *everything* has to be pink, honey.

–Rite Aid, Carroll Gardens

Overheard by: Sunny

Posted on November 18, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Brooklyn, Central Park, Clothing, Colors, Compare/Contrast, Girls, Guys, Hair, Kids, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Moms, On Cell, One-liners, Parents, Parks, Penis, Physical appearance, Shoes, Store, Street, Violence, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Wednesday One-Liners, Williamsburg, Wishes & desires

Well Played, Little Man. Well Played.

Little boy: Where's my hat? I need my hat!
Mom: Where's some manners? You need some manners.
Little boy: Actually, they're in my hat.

–Brooklyn

Posted on November 17, 2009
Brooklyn, Clothing, Etiquette, Kids, Moms, Parents

Given Your G-Rated Childhood

4-year-old boy to father waiting in line to buy ice cream cone: I used to like chocolate, but not so much anymore. (pauses to consider) Now I think it's disgusting.
Father, shocked: That's pretty strong language!

–Bittersweet Cafe, DeKalb Ave

Overheard by: Hilariter

Posted on November 15, 2009
Brooklyn, Dads, Food, Kids, Parents, Restaurants & Cafes, Words

Some People Get Way Too Invested in The Real World

Older woman: She's still a butthead for moving out so soon.
Girl: Grandma, she had a baby!
Older woman: I don't care.

–Brooklyn Heights

Overheard by: JEI

Posted on November 12, 2009
Brooklyn, Family Ties, Girls, Insults, Kids, Old People, Women

Wednesday One-Liners, Hosted by Rackspace

Woman on cell: He was here for ten days and he only touched my boobs twice!

–Penn Station

Overheard by: and my girlfriend would be upset if it were 10 minutes

Old thug passing three fat chicks on their way to a club: Explosion of titties!

–Myrtle Ave, Brooklyn

Hipster barista guy: A boob is just a moisturized bag of skin, seriously!

–Think Coffee

Overheard by: its to early for this conversation

Full-on punk guy: Dude! Shit is so good! I just want someone to squirt tahini all over my tits!

–St. Mark's Place

Overheard by: Dahlia

Girl on phone: Wait! What? No! Well, I do shit a lot. But I don't want to shit my boobs away!

–Times Square

Posted on November 11, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Baristas, Brooklyn, Compare/Contrast, Ethnic Food, Fat People, Girls, Hipsters, Kink, Old People, On Cell, One-liners, Penn Station, Physical appearance, Punks, Rack, Restaurants & Cafes, Street, The Village, Thugs, Times Square, Union Square and East Village, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires, Women

She's Really Annoying to Watch Oprah with

Young black girl #1: Why ain't you under the umbrella? You black.
Young black girl #2: I don't give a fuck if my hair gets messed up.
Young black girl #1: You black! You so black!

–Brooklyn

Overheard by: rpk

Posted on November 10, 2009
Brooklyn, Ghetto Chicks, Hair, Physical appearance, Questions, Weather

I Checked Her Birth Certificate

Hispanic teenage girl #1: I don't know about that girl. She just don't fit in with our group.
Hispanic teenage girl #2: Yeah, she think she ghetto fabulous, but she just ghetto.

–Brooklyn

Posted on November 6, 2009
Brooklyn, Compare/Contrast, Gossip, Latinos, Teens

Wednesday's More Fun Than a Barrel Of One-Liners

20-something hipster to another, admiring long-legged blonde: How can you say you believe in evolution?! There is no way that that evolved from a monkey!

–1st Ave & 14th

Overheard by: Evolutionary

Little boy to brother: If I were a monkey, I'd take a crap on you.

–6 Train

Overheard by: Rebecca

Man on cell: Then Tim-Jim jerked him off with his feet. Only a monkey can do that!

–Bedford & Metropolitan

Overheard by: theeatenpath

Middle aged man pushing daughter's stroller: I can't believe she got Curious George's autograph!

–16th St & 5th Ave

Overheard by: Maquaid

Posted on November 4, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Animals & Nature, Beauty, Body Parts, Brooklyn, Brothers, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Dads, Hand-Jobs, Hipsters, Kids, Men, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Parents, Poop, Questions, Science, Street, Stupidity, TV, Union Square and East Village, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

Plant a Wednesday, Harvest One-Liners

Girl holding orchid: Orchids are the thinking man's rose.

–116th & Broadway

Overheard by: Samantha

Hipster girl to hipster guy: I'm telling you, these trees smell like semen.

–10th St b/w 1st & Ave A

Overheard by: Libby

Disheveled hobo to granola-looking lady with khaki shorts, matching hat, and three-foot braided ponytail: You goin' on a nature walk, baby? I'd like to take a hike with you and make sweet love beside a pine tree.

–89th & Broadway

Overheard by: Jesse Cromer

20-something hipster: He face-planted into my potted plant, and then later he pissed himself.

–Gowanus Yacht Club, Brooklyn

Overheard by: big bad don