Guy: Whatcha drinkin' there?
Wasted girl: Jungle juice. I made my own… special… red elixir. Haha. My eyes aren't even open right now, are they?
–Party, Brooklyn
Guy: Whatcha drinkin' there?
Wasted girl: Jungle juice. I made my own… special… red elixir. Haha. My eyes aren't even open right now, are they?
–Party, Brooklyn
Girl: So, what do you want to do? Get some food? Get on the train?
Boy: I just want to have sex with you.
–Court & Atlantic
Catholic schoolgirl #1: I think I'm going to have sex with my boyfriend tonight.
Catholic schoolgirl #2: Well, you know… you can't use a condom.
Catholic schoolgirl #1: Really?
Catholic schoolgirl #2: Yeah… they taught us that in school, hello?!
–Starbucks, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Jessa
Girl #1: She was trying on wedding dresses… So she's on Prozac, but who isn't?
Girl #2: Yeah, really!
–Brooklyn
Overheard by: so last season
Hipster: Ugh, my mom keeps forgetting to deposit my unemployment check.
–Williamsburg
Shouting hipster: I tripped over a Mexican!
–Spring St
Overheard by: Brigdh
Hipster girl to guy she is sitting with at the bar: I should have let you cum on my bedspread.
–5th Ave & Bergen, Brooklyn
Dozing hipster, muttering in his sleep: That's what she said.
–G Train
Overheard by: Sunny
Upset hipster chick to friends: So now that my brother's going to college,they're not going to pay my rent anymore. I told my mom, "I'm twenty-five, I pay all my other bills on time, I haven't done anything wrong!"
–Union Pool, Williamsburg
Eldest son, Coming from church in Sunday best: So, dad, does Star Wars take place in the past or the future?
Dad: The past.
(pause)
Son: Wait… that doesn't make any sense!
Dad: “Long ago, in a galaxy far, far away…”
–Bedford Ave
Overheard by: NIckET
Dude: So what's up, man?
Homeboy: Same old grind man, you?
Dude: What's up with your girl?
Homeboy, all smiley: Oh, man! She just miscarried, thank god! I couldn't be happier, dun!
Dude: Oh, yeah?
Homeboy: Yeah, it was great! Thank god!
Dude: Okay. Peace, man.
Homeboy: Still smiling, no doubt kid, one!
–Bedford Ave & Myrtle Ave
Overheard by: krillz
Young guy: If I see another blue penis it would be too soon!
–42nd St
Overheard by: alecko
Girl on cell: She just bought a merkin… It was pink, you know, to match her hair. (pause) Would you want to rub toxic dye down there?
–Williamsburg
Girl to another: Just because he is wearing a different colored shirt, he's still the same guy.
–Central Park
Flamboyant guy, shouting to girl in very short orange dress: I have that same orange dress in purple!
–South Street Seaport
Overheard by: Green Star
Mother to four-year-old wearing pink shirt and shoes: Not *everything* has to be pink, honey.
–Rite Aid, Carroll Gardens
Overheard by: Sunny
4-year-old boy to father waiting in line to buy ice cream cone: I used to like chocolate, but not so much anymore. (pauses to consider) Now I think it's disgusting.
Father, shocked: That's pretty strong language!
–Bittersweet Cafe, DeKalb Ave
Overheard by: Hilariter
