Wednesday One-Liners Have a History of Violence

Guy, to girl: If I wanted to be angry, I would have punched you in the face a long time ago.

–34th & 7th

Woman on cell: Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.

–33rd St & 31st Ave, Astoria

Overheard by: Wade

Woman: It’s not like someone put a gun to your head and told you to fuck her!

–Penn Station

Overheard by: Cha

Guy on cell: Yes, I’m interested in your sparring class…No, you see I want to hit somebody.

–Bryant Park

Overheard by: Braincurve

Thug, to his girlfriend: Yo, I don’t care if you a girl or not. I will bust you in the head with a rock.

–Central Park

Posted on July 31, 2017
Anger Management, Assholes, Central Park, Crime and Punishment, Guys, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On Cell, Parks, Penn Station, Punch, Relationships, Sex, Shoot, Street, Thugs, Violence

Straight Guys Generally Regret Pursuing This Line of Questioning

Queer: Wow, he’s cute.
Straight guy: Yeah… So, do you want to fuck him?
Queer: No, I want him to fuck me.

–Central Park

Posted on July 21, 2017
Backdoor, Beauty, Central Park, Default, Gays and Lesbians, Guys, Parks, Queer guys, Questions, Sexuality, Wishes & desires

Wednesday One-Liners Prefer “Pleasantly Plump”

Guy on phone: That's not the problem, straight guys who are fatter than me get laid all the time.

–Time Warner Center

Man on cell: Of course I'll recognize you! Unless you got fat!

–Sheep's Meadow, Central Park

Gay black man: Uh uh. Girl, her fat ass will so not make it. You better not bring her here.

–Bleecker & Broadway

Overheard by: fellow fatass

Excited young teen on cell: Dad! Guess what celebrity we just met?! The Weight Watchers lady! No, the old one! Yeah, Kirstie Alley! We got her autograph! She's real fat now! We met her in the chocolate store!

–W Broadway & Spring

Overheard by: JR

Fat chick: Do not tell me I'm not a size 4!

–Central Park West

Overheard by: Rich H

Posted on May 30, 2017
About Celebrities, All Wednesday One-Liners, Black People, Central Park, Compare/Contrast, Diet/Weight, Fat People, Food, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Guys, Men, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Offers and requests, On Cell, Queer guys, Sexuality, Soho, Teens

Nothing Is Real and Nothing to Get Hung About

Stoner #1: Man, this is an awesome place to come and get stoned.
Stoner #2: Dude, totally. This is what John Lennon was all about.
Actual Lennon fan nearby: Shut the fuck up! This is sacred land! Do not make me get Yoko Ono to fuck you two up!
Stoner #1: Geez, calm down.
Stoner #2: Seriously. Like, give peace a chance or whatever.

–Strawberry Fields, Central Park

Overheard by: Rebecca M

Posted on May 21, 2016
Central Park, Gripes, Stoners

Then Who'd I Have Lingerie Pillow-Fights With?

Woman #1: I need to get a new roommate.
Woman #2: Why?
Woman #1: Because I'm getting my period on her cycle now. And tampons are expensive!
Woman #2: Maybe you should live with a guy.

–Central Park

Posted on February 25, 2016
Advice, Central Park, Default, Gender issues, Menstruation, Money & Class, Women

That's What You Said About Chuck E. Cheese's, and Now We're Not Allowed Back!

Little boy: Daddy, I gotta pee!
Dad: Son, we're in Central Park, everywhere is a bathroom.

–Central Park

Posted on February 24, 2016
Central Park, Dads, Kids, Offers and requests, Parents, Parks, Pee

“…He’s gonna introduce me to his pals Jack & Coke.”

Boy #1: You know, if I were a girl, I’d totally be attracted to Shelly’s dad.
Boy #2: What?
Boy #1: No, seriously. Because he knows all those people, and he’s, like, an alcoholic.

–Sassy’s Sliders, 86th & 3rd

Overheard by: Ken Yapelli

Posted on February 1, 2016
Boys, Central Park, Drinking & Drunk People

Wednesday One-Liners Fail the Purity Test

Girl: I’m done with threesomes. Someone always gets hurt. It’s four-gies only from now on.

–Duane Reade, 32nd & Broadway

Overheard by: Jaina Wald

Man on cell: You got the what? The what? So you got the queen-sized bed!! You whore! You whore!

–Wall & Water

Overheard by: Aubrie

Man: Hey, anyone want to go to an orgy?

–Central Park

Loud teen boy: Dad, do we need condoms?

–Pharmacy, 82nd & Columbus

Girl on cell: Well it’s not even like anyone there had any real porn background!

–Union Square

Overheard by: Natalie

Guy on stoop: Dude! I did not give that girl VD.

–22nd & Broadway

Loud female suit: Well, at least he wasn’t sleeping with an intern!

–45th & Lex

Preppy girl on cell: Hey, girly, I got myself two tickets for us to go to the Dominican Republic for next week, and you know what that means: 7 days of Dominican cock. Yum!

–34th St

Overheard by: naidababy

Posted on January 30, 2016
All Wednesday One-Liners, Anger Management, Central Park, Condoms, Duane Reade, Global Geography, Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Murray Hill and Gramercy, On Cell, One-liners, Orgy, Penis, Preppies, Sex, STDs, Suits, Teens, Three is Company, Travel, Union Square and East Village, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport

Isn’t That Nice?

Tourist lady: Everyone has been so nice in New York; not what I expected.
Woman: We are nice, just self-absorbed.

–Central Park

Overheard by: Renaissance Chick

Chick #1: Omigod, like, if I like your earrings, why should I tell someone else I like your earrings? I should just tell you.
Chick #2: Omigod, I’m just like that too. But really it’s because I love getting compliments.
Chick #1: Omigod! Me, too! It’s the only reason why I say nice things to other people.

–33rd & 6th

Overheard by: Mary Beth Hanlon

Girl: Fuck nice! I am a born and bred New Yorker, I don’t care for nice. I dont’ want to be nice, I want to be right! Fuck nice!

–O’Neil’s Irish Bar ladies’ room, 3rd Avenue

Overheard by: Banana

Posted on January 20, 2016
Ahhh! Real New Yorkers, Central Park, Etiquette, Manhattan, Tourists