Wednesday One-Liners Can't Do Much About the Adam's Apple

Brooklyn grandmother to another: My grandson is so different now that he's become a woman.

–4 Train

Middle aged man in binoculars on cell: Yeah! And just like that she threw me out! She kicked me out on my ass! She walked in and I was in her bra… and that was it!

–87th & Columbus Ave

Overheard by: GoneWithThe

Small black guy: Of course I'm a transvestite! Why else do you think it took you three guys to beat me up?

–W 36th St

Overheard by: Ellen

Twink to others: Sometimes you think a little boy is a child and then he turns out to be a much older woman.

–Chelsea

Overheard by: Urch

Attractive blonde: And then the… transvestite beauty queen thing happened. You know?

–Middagh & Henry

Overheard by: Matty

Posted on December 18, 2014
Age/Aging, All Wednesday One-Liners, Ass, Beauty, Black People, Breaking Up, Brooklyn, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Clothing, Compare/Contrast, Family Ties, Gays and Lesbians, Gender issues, Girls, Guys, Kids, Men, Old People, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Queer guys, Questions, Sexuality, Trannies, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Violence, Weirdness

Anthony Michael Hall: “Can I Borrow Your Wednesday One-Liners for 10 Minutes?”

Professor: They make disposable everything these days. Disposable diapers, disposable razors. They even make edible underwear, don't they? (class is silent) Yes! They do! (pause) Maybe I'm telling you more about myself than I should be…

–Wagner College

Girl: Wait, my panties!

–Franklin St

Guy on phone: I told you to take your thong off!

–60th & Columbus

Man: I do not want to know your bra size! Ever!

–Hunter College

Overheard by: Christina M.

Guy on cell: He wore boxers and it was like, "okay, so you hang to the left…"

–W 46th St

Older gentleman to lady friend: If this keeps up, I'm going to have to start wearing underwear.

–14th St & 1st Ave

Overheard by: Kat

Posted on December 17, 2014
All Wednesday One-Liners, Always Bringing it Back to You!, Clothing, College, Directions, Food, Friends, Girls, Guys, Height, Hunter, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Old People, On Cell, One-liners, School and studying, Street, Students, Teachers/Professors, Union Square and East Village, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires, Women

Did He at Least Have His Emergency Mustache On?

Girl #1: You won't believe this. He was in the shower.
Girl #2: So?
Girl #1: He wasn't wearing a hat.
Girl #2: Oh my god!

–High School, Queens

Overheard by: Sunny

Posted on December 16, 2014
Clothing, Girls, Health and Hygiene, Physical appearance, Queens, School

Like, What's with the Stiletto Galoshes?

Girl #1: Wow, my rain poncho is longer than my skirt.
Girl #2: That's because you're a slut.

–Bard High School Early College

Posted on December 14, 2014
Clothing, College, Compare/Contrast, Girls, Height, Insults, Promiscuity

Wednesday One-Liners after Labor Day? Shocking!

Rich lady: I bought this outfit for myself to make up for my miserable youth.

–Union Square West

Overheard by: Zac

Yuppie to toddler sitting on friend’s lap: … And the benefit of wearing Nike clothing is that it’s made by children not much older than you.

–Central Park

Overheard by: Ardbeg78

Trendy chick: I can’t go to places like Forever 21 and Urban Outfitters ’cause they study and watch me on camera, ripping off my style.

–Bar, 14th St & Ave B

Overheard by: Karl Karlson

Girl: Trench coats are never a good sign.

–M14D bus, 1st Ave

Overheard by: melanie

Loud queer to friend: Ummm, do you know where I can get some Lycra spandex leopard-print leggings?

–The Village

Overheard by: S

Posted on December 13, 2014
All Wednesday One-Liners, Clothing, Wednesday One-Liners, Wednesday One-Liners Vary

At Least You’ll Double Your Income

Frantic Chick: Where’s my bag? All my clothes were in there. Oh God, I have to dress like a whore for the next two weeks!

–Costume Party, Dumbo

Posted on December 13, 2014
Clothing, Girls, Manhattan, Thievery

Who Is Prima Ballerinia in the Chunkiest 'Swan Lake' in History

Old Russian man (loudly): I like big tutus!
Bank teller: Yes, okay.
Old Russian man: Like my wife!

–Apple Bank, 86th St

Overheard by: hatia

Posted on December 10, 2014
9 to 5-ers, Bank, Brooklyn, Clothing, Family Ties, Height, Old People, Rack, Words

Seriously, Can I Have One Of the Bananas?

Conductor leaning out window of train pulling into station: Hey, nice hat! I like your hat!
Woman on platform with nice hat: Um, thank you.
Conductor: This is 72nd Street. Uptown 2 train making local stops, local stops. Next stop 79th Street. Nice hat! Niiiice hat!

–2 Train

Overheard by: Rose Fox

Posted on December 10, 2014
Clothing, Compliments, Conductors, Directions, On the Subway, Public Transportation, Women

I Could See the Tops Of Both Nipples

Guy #1: This isn't that crowded.
Guy #2: Yeah, the other day I was on a different train and we were packed in like sardines, this lady had her boobs in my face.
Guy #1: Oh, that's nice.
Guy #2: And the best part is her shirt said “stop staring, bitch!”

–7 Train

Overheard by: Beck

Posted on December 9, 2014
Clothing, Compare/Contrast, Guys, Nicknames & name calling, On the Subway, Public Transportation, Rack

Though That Would Be a Great Batman Villain.

Child: The man-of-war is in a black suit, right?
Father: It's not an actual man.

–Museum of Natural History

Overheard by: Harmony Yourish

Posted on December 7, 2014
Clothing, Colors, Dads, Kids, Museum of Natural History

Clothing