Waspy girl on cell: No, it’s totally safe up here. I mean there are hipsters on the street.
Passing hipster (to friend wearing Members Only jacket): Is she talking about us?
–125th & Park
Waspy girl on cell: No, it’s totally safe up here. I mean there are hipsters on the street.
Passing hipster (to friend wearing Members Only jacket): Is she talking about us?
–125th & Park
Woman: So what did you do?
Gay man: I put my pants back on and left the apartment -he was just a house sitter!
–53rd St & 9th Ave
Woman #1: Ooh. I like that top!
Woman #2: Thanks.
Woman #1: It’s very Sex and the City. Where’d ya get it?
Woman #2: Penney’s.
–Shuttle Train to Grand Central Station
Overheard by: Robert
Hobo: The best way to fight terrorism is not with guns and bombs, but with beer and porno. Beer and porno!
–34th & 3rd
Man walking a black terrier to woman walking a brown terrier: Do you think the word "terrorist" came from the word "terrier"?
–22nd & 2nd
Grand Central loudspeaker: Will Tommy the Terrorist please report to the information desk… Tommy the Terrorist please report to the information desk.
–Grand Central Food Court
Overheard by: Reilly
Black guy: How the fuck can you curse a stadium? With a shirt? How the fuck do you do that? Tell me how that’s done! Y’all warlocks and shit? Ain’t no one can curse no one else. Cause none of you are warlocks! And if you were a fucking warlock why you cursing the fucking Yankees? Fuck, why don’t we curse Bin Laden? Send him a shirt?
–Downtown E Train
Overheard by: Withnail
Mom to child: You’ll either become a terrorist or a smelly homeless person! (child lowers his head in shame)
–113th & Broadway
Overheard by: Passerby
Hobo: Bush is a terrorist. Him and his father blew up WTC. (looks at Asian man) Jackie Chan is my friend. When you go to Hong Kong, tell him I said hi.
–7 Train
Petulant child: Speed walking is boring! I want to be myself!
–1st Ave & 5th St
Awkward teen boy to friend: It was really boring until I got laid.
–66th & Broadway
Chick on cell: How is pantylessness ever boring?
–113th b/w Broadway & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Ladle
Young art history teacher: So basically, I like to lecture the whole first class and bore the hell out of them. That way, everything I say afterwards is interesting!
–74th & Madison
Overheard by: Erin Partridge
Short girl to lab partner: Sometimes, when I’m bored, I become a tuning fork. (slowly hits herself on the head) Diiiing!
–Chemistry Lab, Stuyvesant High School
Mid 40s black man: Well, how will you know where to find her?
Quasi-homeless black man: She got big drawers?
Mid 40s black man: Well, yeah.
Quasi-homeless black man: She got big drawers, I’ll find her!
–123rd & Adam Clayton Powell
Overheard by: he’s asked to see my drawers before
Dispatcher’s voice on walkie talkie: Four black males seen in the subway station, dressed as women. Repeat, four black males dressed as women.
Cop, into walkie talkie: Ten-four to central… Is that breaking a law?
–77th St Subway Station
Overheard by: AJ
Girl #1: Were you wearing any underpants?
Girl #2: Well yes, I was wearing underpants!
–Javits Center, New York International Gift Fair
Overheard by: Amy
Girl #1: Which one is he?
Girl #2: He looks like a ninja turtle.
Girl #1: Oh, okay.
Girl #2: Put a bandanna on that bitch and call him Raphael.
–Columbia
Overheard by: Mandy
Teenage boy to father: You know, everyone knows you’re a furry now.
–Food Emporium, 86th St
Curly-haired chick on cell: It’s like you’re a health nut but with S&M tendencies.
–Ouidad
Overheard by: Pookins
Woman on cell: I’m constantly carrying around like four outfits, paperwork, leftover food, and collars.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: McF
Man on cell: Look, if you want to have sex with animals just get drunk and do it!
–Burrito Shop
Overheard by: Marc
Suit: …So if I raise the bed, then I can put the S&M toys under it.
–Bed, Bath, and Beyond
Overheard by: Katie
20-something college girl: Dude! I don’t know how I ended up on my knees calling him "Sir" okay!?… It just happened…
–St. Marks b/w 1st & A
Overheard by: i wish i was
Hot nerd on cell: I mean seriously, what’s the point of having friends if you can’t occasionally accuse them of sexual deviance?
–40th & 3rd
