Guy #1: So was it more like Mars or more like Earth?
Guy #2: She said it was more like Earth.
–7th Ave & 16th St
Guy #1: So was it more like Mars or more like Earth?
Guy #2: She said it was more like Earth.
–7th Ave & 16th St
Guy: The more friends I have, the more of a chance that people aren't going to like me.
Girl: Yeah.
Guy: Like Jesus, he had 12 followers. Jesus was a gangsta!
Girl: Yeah.
–5th Ave & 13th St
Guy #1: I swear, dude–she smelled like fish!
Guy #2: Don't you work in a fish store?
Guy #1: Fuck you!
–Lexington & 45th
Overheard by: Allkohn
Headline by: My Little Nemo’s excited
Runners-Up:
· “Be Thankful You Don’t Work With Portable Toilets” – Gunther
· “For the Last Time, It’s Called “The Playboy Mansion”” – Duncan Pflaster
· “I Bet She Had Crabs Too” – Lee
· “Ishmael on Women” – Lena
· “When You Said He Was Sleeping With the Fishes, We Didn’t Assume …” – Laura
· “You Know I Only Kiss Them and Throw Them Back” – wirrrn
Mystified/amused pot dealer, as two jocks jog past him after sunset: They just runnin'! No cops, no robbers, no cowboys, no Indians, nothing blowin' up. They just runnin'!
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: innocent bystander
Dad to three-year-old boy learning to how to swing: Well, maybe if you were in better shape, this would be easy for you. You need to work on your abdominals.
–Rckefeller Park
Overheard by: Maria
White buff guy, during spin class: I need to do some serious laundry, so I only had the one clean towel. If ya can't get one, I can always just give you mine and do my usual air dry jumping jacks for the insane amount of fems they have in the locker room over there. But apparently I have a bad-case-of-gay-face, because they look at me like a fat kid in front of the tasty delight window.
–29th St & Lexington
Overheard by: Lace
Suit to another: I wish I could bench press the sins of the world!
–74th St & Broadway
Girl in short skirt and stilettos: Did we just power-strut too far?
–PATH
Suit: If Mark didn't fall asleep and get his photo taken with lemons on his head, he might still be here.
–Elevator, Midtown
Overheard by: It got even better when they elaborated
Sweater-clad hipster guy: I probably spend more per year on strawberries and cream than on my education. It's worth it, though. I value them more than my education.
–Starbucks, Brooklyn
Teenage girl: I don't want you to tell me there's a banana somewhere in there, I want to see the banana go in there!
–Church Ave, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Sonny
Girl to guy drinking juice: Eating mangoes makes vaginas taste better.
–Broadway & 9th St
Overheard by: Jessica
Irritated voice in choir loft, in the dark, at the end of Good Friday service: In all the excitement, I seem to have sat on my banana.
–60th St & Park Ave
Overheard by: haysoos
Man on cell: Did anybody give grandma her mango? You know that bitch flips shit if she don't get her mango!
–Central Park
Overheard by: queenofscots
Thug: So growing up, he used to be this little guy with a fat face, all squinched up, with a huge mushroom haircut. And then high school hits, and bam! He grows his hair long…
Thugette: I know! He's like Jesus Christ! Oh my god!
Thug: Yeah! If you gave him a haircut and a little shape-up, he'd totally be Jesus.
Thugette, laughing hysterically: You think Jesus was getting a shape-up all the time? I don't think Jesus needed no shape-up!
–1 Train
Guy, after lengthy technical explanation: Yeah, so SPF 10 is only twice as strong as SPF 5.
Girl: Now I get it.
–Elevator, 39th & 2nd
Overheard by: kerin
Hipster queer #1: I brought you out here to tell you that I slept with your boyfriend last night.
Hipster queer #2: You are a bad bad friend.
Hipster queer #1: You've had worse.
Hipster queer #2: But not hairier.
Hipster queer #1: Would you like some gin?
Hipster queer #2: Obviously.
–Central Park
Overheard by: hairless
Preteen boy, on his way to St. Patrick's Parade: Mommy, how long do we have to be on this train?
Mother: A few minutes.
Preteen boy: Mommy! This is like when the Nazis took all those people to concentration camps!
Mother: Yeah, but they were German, these people are Irish.
–PATH Train
Overheard by: Shane
Girl #1: Yeah, when you have anal sex for the first time you shit on his dick.
Girl #2: Are you fucking serious? Like you have to take a shit?
Girl #3: No, it's like a plunger. When he pulls it out, it is just sucked out.
–56th & 9th
