Guy #1: Alanis Morissette wrote a song called Under Rug Swept? That’s like Dylan Thomas! Wait, no, that’s Under Milk Wood.
Guy #2: I have officially fired you from talking.
–Starbucks, 8th Avenue & 15th Street
Guy #1: Alanis Morissette wrote a song called Under Rug Swept? That’s like Dylan Thomas! Wait, no, that’s Under Milk Wood.
Guy #2: I have officially fired you from talking.
–Starbucks, 8th Avenue & 15th Street
Hobo to another: Now the average American might not know about the economy and the depression. But they know about Budwieser. If they go to the bodega and there's no Budweiser, they know there's a problem.
–53rd Street E Station
Overheard by: SJG
Bald 30-something man: I believe in whiskey and little else.
–Lorimer & Union
Girl walking down the street: You took methamphetamines, I'm getting a Diet Coke!
–2nd Ave & 11th St
Overheard by: dazed and confused
Elated girl: This beer is really helping my canker sore.
–93rd & 2nd
Overheard by: brian w
Guy at bar: If the New York Public Library served Scotch, I would go there.
–Karl's Klipper, St George, Staten Island
Overheard by: Johnny Drongo
Train conductor: Next stop, Moshulo Parkway…and can someone get me a fucking soda! I'm in car 3! I need a damn soda!
–4 Train
Overheard by: B-Dizzle Yo
Girl #1: Your pussy smells like fish.
Girl #2: Your pussy smells like a light salmon.
Girl #1: Oh, yeah? Well, you're no more than a brook trout.
–110 & Amsterdam
Brunette #1 to friend: I have like no idea what's going on in the world right now. I should start watching the news.
Brunette #2: Well, I heard that Italy is becoming less popular. You know, like on the Richter scale.
–78th St & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: Teresa
Long Island guy: I'm from Merrick.
Brooklyn guy: Merrick? What's Merrick?
Long Island guy: It's a town on Long Island.
Brooklyn guy, laughing: A town!? They still have those? It seems so old fashioned! A town! Sounds like in the 1800s, when people would saddle up their wagons and go into town.
–Fordham University
Overheard by: Martin Van Nostrand
Man: So, what's your name?
Waitress: Jessica.
Man: Well, hello Jessica! I'm Brown.
Waitress: (nods head uninterested)
Man: Like the bear.
Waitress:(walks away)
–Bar, 34th St & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: MMM
Teacher: So, “third person omniscient” means the narrator knows the thoughts and feelings of everyone in the story. It's almost like God is telling the story.
Student: Or Chuck Norris.
–Bard High School, Queens
Overheard by: Sunny
Stewardess: Please keep all your bags underneath the seat in front of you, cause I’m the bag Nazi and I’ll come back and yell at you!
–Plane, LaGuardia
Guy: How was the weekend? Were the kids well-behaved?
Woman: It was fine, they were great.
Guy: How was Max at night? He sometimes gets lonely and starts crying.
Woman: Hmm, I don’t know. I locked them out of my room.
Guy, yelling: You what?!? How could you? You know how they are at night!
[pause.]Woman, unruffled: They are pets. Not kids. Pets. And I don’t sleep with dogs that weigh more than I do.
–Starbucks, 20th St & 6th Ave
Girl student #1: God, this rain. I look like a drowned rat.
Girl student #2: Yeah, but you can pull it off.
Girl student #1: Yeah, I guess drowned rat is like the new dry mouse.
–Washington Square Park
