Guy #1, getting out of shower: Oh! Great news. I learned how to swallow!
Guy #2: That's fantastic!
–Locker Room, David Barton Gym
Overheard by: Baby steps
Guy #1, getting out of shower: Oh! Great news. I learned how to swallow!
Guy #2: That's fantastic!
–Locker Room, David Barton Gym
Overheard by: Baby steps
Russian woman to fat guy (after he yelled at her): Escooz me, cood you please poot your ass out of ze vindow so I can seet? (fat guy remains seated)
–B1 Bus
Overheard by: Robert
Gay: Your ass looks great! Have you started bottoming?
–Christopher St Pier
Young kid: 14th Street, like her ass on my face.
–Union Square Subway Station
Overheard by: Pza
20-something gay suit: My butt always causes friction.
–Elevator, Midtown Building
Sorority hungover girl talking about birth: I came out ass first, isn't that typical?
–Denny's
Guy to chick: We will use your ass as a presentational ass.
–Weight Room, Coles Gym
Overheard by: Ladle
Teen girl to friend: I feel like my butt just came off. You ever feel like that?
–Grand Central Station
Overheard by: Alison
Girl: I really like your Uggs.
Other girl: I like my jugs too.
–Forever 21, Outside Penn Station
Overheard by: i like them too
Drunk chick: I don't care if you let me I'm smoking this fucking cigarette. (lights it)
Driver: Brunettes are slutty.
Drunk chick: What?
Driver: It's okay, I like slutty chicks.
–Taxi Cab, Williamsburg
Overheard by: where's waldo?
Stupid girl: I really like your scarf.
Other girl: Thanks! It's wool and bunny fur.
Stupid girl: Animal killer!
Other girl: No, I think they shave them.
Stupid girl: Oh.
Other girl: Yeah, and it's houndstooth, so I really like it.
Stupid girl: How many animals do you have in there?
–Elevator, 41st & 3rd
Skater boy: I love Jennifer Aniston! I would fuck her and then leave her!
–Uptown 1 Train
Overheard by: Laura
Grad student: I've been analyzing my love life from a symbolic interactionist perspective…
–Amsterdam Cafe
Overheard by: Ladle
Guy on cell: I love you…(defensively) Yes I do!
–Columbus Circle
Loud guy: You know what? Sometimes you've got to catch a few venereal diseases to find true love.
–Yankee Stadium
Overheard by: Kelsey
Man on cell: Then I thought that if I asked her out she would think that I think that she thinks that I think that she loves me.
–59th St & 8th Ave
Black girl behind the counter (after receiving a few text messages and calls): Why is everyone harassing me today? (sighs) I feel loved.
–Coldstone Creamery
Overheard by: Eli
Bus driver on loudspeaker: This bus is beautiful. We care about one another, we share our experiences, our dreams and aspirations. I love each and every one of y'all. So…that's what this is.
–X30 Bus
Overheard by: i just like him as a friend…
Guy walking to rehearsal: I mean, he's really cute in that way that makes you want to hit him with a desk.
–Steinhardt Building, NYU
Middle school girl (about poster for condoms): Ewwww, at least they could've put cute gay guys!
–Q train
Overheard by: Robert
Vapid high school chick: Oh my god, I just found out that he's actually dating a freshman. And not even one of the cute ones either…she's like, brown.
–Central Park
Obviously gay boy screaming into cell: Jeremy, why the fuck didn't you tell me the massage therapist you sent me to does erotic massage? All I wanted was a place to relax! (pause) Yeah, halfway through he started jacking me off! (pause) Seriously? He never did that to you? (pause) Don't be offended. You're cute. He just could probably tell I have a big dick and couldn't keep his hands off it.
–Broadway & 20th St
Dude to friends: Did I tell you guys about the girl that I hooked up with the other night? She totally looked like a beaver… (awkward silence) …but I mean a really cute beaver.
–Ace Bar, 5th St b/w Ave A & Ave B
Overheard by: Santa's Boy Toy
Girl on cell: Tim's cute, I just wish he didn't love Jesus so much.
–N Train
Black dude: Hey, I like your tie!
White kid: Thanks.
Black dude: Cause it's black, like my cock!
–21st St
Casual businessman #1: Boise's good…
Casual businessman #2: Boise's reeeaaall good…
–Houston & Ludlow
Dude #1: You know, Gerard Butler has it good. He's good-looking, but not too good-looking, he's not that ripped…
Dude #2: What the hell not ripped? Gerard Butler is stacked!
Dude #1: He's totally not. He may have been for 300, but I asked him to lift up his shirt, and he's not.
–Elevator, The Met
