Can You Sell Wednesday One-Liners on the Black Market?

Skater kid: Where's my tongue?

–Central Park

Overheard by: Toast

Guy on bus (shouting from the back of the bus): Driver, you know this bus is not gentle on those who have testicles. I mean there's all these bumps and everything's jumping around.

–B12 Bus

Butch lesbian yelling into phone: How do you think I found out my thyroid wasn't working?

–M14D Bus

Old guy to pretty girl: You have some nice legs. You should be doing stocking commercials. Anyone ever tell you that? (now to himself) Oh, the woes of racism have plagued us from Egyptian times!

–R Train

Stock floor guy on cell: Every time we think this thing is coming to a head, there's another head…how many heads does this thing have?

–Wall St & Broadway

Overheard by: Michael

Woman on cell: The best place for your thighs is around my neck. Yes it is. Yes it is. Yes it is. Yes it is.

–58th & Columbus Circle

Posted on October 15, 2008
Advice, All Wednesday One-Liners, Balls, Body Parts, Brooklyn, Central Park, Clothing, Compliments, Guys, Health and Hygiene, Kids, Lesbians, Old People, On Cell, On the Bus, Public Transportation, Questions, Race, Sexuality, Skaters, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Weirdness, Women

Even If She Has to Have Her Sled Dogs Rip It Out of You

Girl on street, arguing with guy: I mean, I really like that Palin. She has a nice smile.
Guy on street: She smiles like that because she wants your soul!

–W Broadway & Warrren

Overheard by: jramon

Posted on October 13, 2008
Beauty, Compare/Contrast, Compliments, Default, Girls, Guys, Politics, Street, Threats, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Weirdness

Still, I've Never Seen a Straight Guy Hold Chopsticks With His Legs

Girl #1, checking out a dude in a restaurant: He's super hot, but I think he's gay.
Girl #2: Oh yeah, totally, look at the way he crosses his legs. And he's using chopsticks.
Girl #1: It's an Asian restaurant.

–Union Square

Overheard by: littleD

Posted on October 11, 2008
Beauty, Compliments, Default, Ethnic Food, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Physical appearance, Restaurants & Cafes, Stupidity, Union Square and East Village

Wednesday Had One-Liners for the Tax Exemptions

Ghetto mother to obnoxiously loud child: Stop it! Stop it! I said stop it! Oooh, girl I am gonna sell yo ass for a Lexus and a mansion if you don't stop!

–L Train

Mother to small child lagging behind: Do you want to go home with another family?

–South St Seaport

Overheard by: shopgirl

Grandmother to small grandson: You went potty, Nietzsche? That's very good. Nana is coming over later, Nietzsche.

–Carl Schurz Park

Mother, to kid peeing on street: Michael, we don't pee on other people's doors!

–Central Park West

Overheard by: Nikki

Mother, to kid looking at toys: It's not a toilet, it's to make cupcakes.

–Toys "R" US, Times Square

Overheard by: Howie

Father, to five-year-old son: I had no idea you liked AC/DC!

–Penn Station

Mother, to son in stroller watching two shady characters: Oh, a drug deal! Sam*, your first drug deal encounter.

–81st & Amsterdam

Overheard by: andrew daly

Posted on October 8, 2008
All Wednesday One-Liners, Cars and Driving, Central Park, Compliments, Dads, Drugs, Etiquette, Ghetto Chicks, Kids, Moms, Money & Class, Music, Nicknames & name calling, Offers and requests, Old People, On the Subway, Parks, Pee, Penn Station, Philosophy, Poop, Questions, Store, Threats, Upper East Side, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Weirdness, Women

Says She Loves to Fuck, but Hates to Walk

Boyfriend: So I think my mother is sleeping with the guy who lives around the corner from me.
Girlfriend: Your mom is so good at stuff like that.

–6th Ave & 14th St

Overheard by: Matthew Coleman

Posted on October 5, 2008
Boyfriends, Compliments, Default, Girlfriends, Parents, Sexuality, The Village

Word to Your Mom

Middle aged white woman on cell: Okay, mom. Go back to watching Snoop. Yeah, I know you love him. Okay, have fun watching the D-0-double g! Bye.
Random passerby: Best. Conversation. Ever.

–Upper West Side

Posted on October 4, 2008
Compliments, Default, Music, On Cell, Parents, Strangers, TV, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, White People, Women

The Wrong Way to Acquire Insight

Pretty girl: So are the fries here good?
Foreign cashier: Yes, de fries here–they are like your eyes. They are very beautiful. You will not forget de taste.
Pretty girl: Oh, thank you…
Foreign cashier: Yes, you eat de fries, I eat your eyes. Yes!

–Burger Joint, The Village

Posted on October 2, 2008
Cashiers, Compare/Contrast, Compliments, Customers, Default, Girls, Guys, Junk Food & Fast Food, Pick-up Lines, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, The Village

Does She Still Live in a Van Down by the East River?

Blonde girl: I mean this in the nicest way possible, but she looks exactly like Chris Farley.
Brunette girl: Oh my gosh, you're so right! I can't believe I never noticed before!
Blonde girl: I know! But I totally mean it as a compliment.

–Nobu Restaurant, W 57th

Overheard by: sromeo

Posted on September 30, 2008
About Celebrities, Compare/Contrast, Compliments, Default, Girls, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Physical appearance, Restaurants & Cafes

Poor Guy's More of a Houndstooth Czech

Gay guy #1, checking out another guy: That's a cute outfit.
Gay guy #2: Not with that face.

–6 Train

Overheard by: Oobs

Posted on September 30, 2008
Beauty, Body Parts, Clothing, Compare/Contrast, Compliments, Default, Insults, On the Subway, Queer guys

“Bitch, You Awake?” Being the Second.

Boyfriend: Love you.
Girlfriend: Love you too.
Boyfriend: Love your rack too.
Girlfriend: That's the sweetest thing you've ever said to me.

–82nd & 1st

Overheard by: Cocomo

Headline by: Ross

Runners-Up:
· “How the Hat-Check Girl Was Won Over…” – Earthborn
· “Low Expectations Can Be Surprisingly Rewarding…” – Sphaeron
· “Pipe Down, I Didn’t Say I Loved Your Mouth” – Daniel Patterson
· “That’s the Same Thing Your Sister Said!” – cafn8ed
· “The Deepest Conversation Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo Have Ever Had” – rudegrl

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Posted on September 29, 2008
Boyfriends, Compliments, Girlfriends, Headline Contest Winners, Love, Nipples, Upper East Side, Words

Compliments