Wednesday One-Liner Can Be Made Of Ivory, Glass, Rubber and Sometimes Wood

Loud girl to friend: How the hell do you lose your vibrator?

–4th St & 2nd Ave

Guy on cell: Yeah, I'm just waiting in line at Whole Foods. Still want me to bring the dildo over?

–Whole Foods

Gay man to boyfriend: I'm glad we could come here and show your coworkers that we really do buy lube for our sexual adventures.

–The Leather Man

Overheard by: i don't go to sex shops with my boyfriend

Creepy older man on phone: Someone should really dildo her.

–5th Ave & 58th St.

Overheard by: Courtney

Girl, loudly: Why didn't you tell me you bought lube?!

–Crowded NYU Elevator

Overheard by: S

Large woman to group of friends: And if someone asks a question, I just wave a dildo in front of their eyes!

–Brooklyn Museum

Overheard by: Liat

Posted on November 4, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Boyfriends, Brooklyn, Creepsters, Dildos and Vibrators, Elevators, Fat People, Friends, Girls, Guys, Lube, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, More museums, NYU, Old People, On Cell, One-liners, Queer guys, Questions, Sex, Shopping, Store, Street, Union Square and East Village, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, West Village, Whole Foods, Wishes & desires, Women

I Was Just Joking About It Having Been in a Mule's Ass.

Brunette girl: (enters elevator and stares angrily at Asian girl next to her, then leaves elevator)
Asian girl, to guy next to her: Oh my god!
Guy: What?
Asian girl: That was the same girl! I stuck a dildo in her mouth while we were all drunk last night.
Guy: Haha.
Asian girl: I don't know why she's mad at me. Like, what's the big deal, get over it.
Guy: Yeah, seriously.

–Chelsea

Posted on October 19, 2009
Anger Management, Asians, Body Parts, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Dildos and Vibrators, Drinking & Drunk People, Elevators, Girls, Guys

Wednesday One-Liners Are Still Waiting for Those Boy Scouts to Come Out

Hot girl on cell: You got cockblocked by cancer! (pause, then very seriously) Is your pussy still radioactive?

–Upper East Side

Grown man talking to grown woman: You know the sandy vagina?

–32nd & 8th

Street man to slutty-looking hipsters: Freeze! Drop your drawers! We've got your pussy surrounded!

–2nd Ave

Overheard by: Maureen

30-something woman on cell: I like to use a blowdryer on the… uh… vaginas.

–D Train

Girl, screaming into cell: No, I will not give you my vagina!

–Bryant Park

Overheard by: Can I borrow it?

Posted on September 9, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Bryant Park, Cancer, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Cops, Dildos and Vibrators, Girls, Hair, Hipsters, Men, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Penis, Questions, Sensory Experiences, Sex, Street, Upper East Side, Vagina, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women

All Of a Sudden, I'm Oddly Aroused.

Blonde #1, playing Mad Libs on train: Okay, give me an adverb.
Blonde #2: Wait, which one is that? I always get that confused with adjectives, or whatever.
Blonde #1: Adjectives describe things. Like saying a guy is hot, or something. Adverbs describe like, actions and stuff. Okay? So, gimme an adverb.
Blonde #2: Vibration. Does that count?
Blonde #3: Well, let's put “vibratorily.”

–Train, Penn Station

Overheard by: Highly Entertained

Posted on September 1, 2009
Dildos and Vibrators, Girls, Offers and requests, Penn Station, Stupidity, Trains Not Subway, Words

It's a Different Kind Of Head Shop

Boys in group, walking past novelty shop: Booong! Booong! Booong!
Irate friend: That's not a bong, that's a dildo, dumbass!

–6th Ave & W 4th St

Overheard by: theincredilbong

Posted on August 7, 2009
Anger Management, Boys, Dildos and Vibrators, Friends, Insults, Smoking, The Village

Wednesday One-Liners Have Lips and a Beard, but No Nose

Woman to friend: I just don't understand these women. I mean, get your head out of your bush and look around!

–66th & Broadway

Overheard by: rawr

Girl: Oh, I was wondering why my vagina was vibrating!

–Salvation Army, 11th & 4th

Man on sidewalk, waving arms: I can't, can't, can't, can't, can't get enough pussy!

–125th St & Park Ave

Overheard by: wonders why

Woman on cell: I get my pussy eaten out so much I don't even want it anymore.

–Staten Island Ferry

Girl on cell: Oh, come on, I can see her vagina from here!

–Court St & Dean St, Cobble Hill

Overheard by: Astigmatic

Posted on July 8, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Brooklyn, Dildos and Vibrators, Friends, Gender issues, Girls, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Licking, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On Cell, One-liners, Staten Island Ferry, Street, Union Square and East Village, Vagina, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires, Women

A Double, If You Know What I Mean

Girl #1: Thank god we are in singles next year.
Girl #2: Yeah, I'm getting a vibrator.

–Barnard College

Posted on June 28, 2009
Columbia (& Barnard), Dildos and Vibrators, Girls, Happiness

Wednesday One-Liners Are Just Browsing

Flamboyant foreigner: I changed my MySpace to say I like girls.

–Washington Square Park

Suit on cell: I'm gonna twitter my fucking ass off tonight.

–City Hall

Overheard by: Samantha Sharifi

Girl on cell: Do they not have people in the US that follow the Blue Book? They have to get some guy from Oxford butt fuck to do it? It's so annoying. It's so annoying! Like, I want to take a strap on and fuck my computer. Well, not my computer, but the guy's computer, for having done this to me.

–11th St & 5th Ave

Middle aged African American woman to group of friends: I'm going on MySpace to comment that she abandoned her child!

–8th Ave & 42nd St

Businesswoman to friend: I just like having a family, you know? And you can't get that on Craigslist.

–33rd St.

Overheard by: Rio

High school girl with iPod: Do you think this church has Wi-Fi?

–St. Paul's Catholic Church

Posted on May 20, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Ass, Black People, Church, Computer, Dildos and Vibrators, Family Ties, Foreigners, Friends, Gender issues, Girls, Insults, Internet, Kids, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Myspace, On Cell, One-liners, Parents, Questions, Sex, Sexuality, Sorority Girls, Street, Suits, Theater, Union Square and East Village, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Washington Square Park, Wednesday One-Liners, Women

Wednesday One-Liners– Now in Small, Regular and Porn Star

20-something girl: And then they had another raffle and I won another 30 minutes of free porn and a vibrator.

–Chelsea Market

Overheard by: eSong

Man, talking to himself in the park: I don't discriminate against women. Women discriminate against me. Why? Because they have all different kinds of dildos.

–City Hall Park

Salesman, shouting to man with girlfriend: Have you been neglecting your butthole lately? I'm selling some nice greasy vibrators here!

–34th St

Overheard by: Jessica

30-something balding man on cell: Dildo and show…

–14th & 3rd

Woman to friends posing for picture: 1…2…3…say: "sex toys!"

–West Village

Mythology professor: Ares was a bit stupid, so Aphrodite was pretty much the brains of that operation. For her, he was basically just a living dildo.

–Hunter College

Overheard by: Sarah