Girl #1 to friends on subway: I love sitting like this, we can all see each other… It’s like…
Girl #2, almost in unison with girl #3: It’s like we’re in a circle, yeah!
Girl #3: And you’re like, like, the point!
–5 Train
Girl #1 to friends on subway: I love sitting like this, we can all see each other… It’s like…
Girl #2, almost in unison with girl #3: It’s like we’re in a circle, yeah!
Girl #3: And you’re like, like, the point!
–5 Train
Gay guy on cell: And they had the guy with the biggest butt stand next to the guy with the second-biggest butt! Seriously, what is wrong with them?
–6th Ave & 12th
Woman getting on a crowded train, looking for a seat: See, I told you there would be a lot of behinds on this train!
–N Train
Overheard by: Some behind lucky enough to find a seat.
Thug to another: After I wipe his ass, I'm gonna beat his ass!
–86th & Park Ave
Woman on cell: So, what are you going to tell him? "Sorry, I can't marry you–your ass is broken"?
–1st & 23
Teen to friend: Why didn't he use a tennis racket? It would have left that waffle fry look on your ass.
–Bus to Penn Station
Skipping tween girl to metrosexual father: I've seen your butt, you know!
–72nd & Lexington Ave
Overheard by: Shannon
Guy to friend: When Obama wins, I'm going to slap a white person.
–Central Park Bench
Overheard by: Lane
Lady getting sprayed with perfume by her friend: Stop. Stop it! You gonna make me smell like white people.
–East Drive, Prospect Park
Overheard by: White smelly jogger
Black gay man sans shirt, upon seeing group of white girls wandering: Oh my god, white girls! Oh, I didn't mean it like that.
–Christopher St
Gentleman walking past Miss Mamie's Spoonbread Too restaurant: Man, black people eating tofu, white people eating spoonbread…
–W 110th & Columbus
Gingy, referring to ebony colored condoms: This way, when I fuck a white boy he'll still be black!
–E Broadway 99 Cent Store
Black lady in african garb: Too many white flower! Need more black power! (the only white girl around looks up confusedly, now black lady screams in her face) White flower!
–125th & Adam Clayton Powell
Overheard by: Ruby
Accented woman: What is driving, just “left, right, and straight”? What is so hard bout that?
Friend: And backing up.
Together: And backing up.
–A Train
Overheard by: Rick
Red jacket: You know he texted me from Mexico like five times since he's been there?
Mauve jacket: Oh my! It costs so much to text from there! It's like 75 cents per text!
Red jacket: I don't know why. I made it quite obvious I wasn't interested. He should spend that money on match.com!
Mauve jacket: You are so wrong.
–Greene & W 4th
Girl #1: Look at these pictures.
(girl #2 starts to look at pictures)
Girl #2: Oh look, my son looks like one of those… uhhh… hmmm…? I forgot what they are called.
Girl #1: A hungry child?
Girl #2: Yeaaaah, like one of those kids from a third world country.
–Buhre Avenue, Bronx
Overheard by: DaILList4Ever
Portly young woman browsing dress for herself, nonchalantly: Oh, this is cute, but too bad it doesn't come in fat-ass-bitch size.
–Target, Brooklyn
20-something girl to boyfriend: Oh my god, you are so cute I just wanna punch you in the face!
–135th & 5th
Overheard by: Howzith
Middle-aged woman on cell exiting bus: You have a blessed day! (to phone) No, not you! I was talking to the bus driver–he was really cute!
–Brooklyn
Overheard by: B44 rider
Student fundraiser to passerby: Taiwan needs help! Hey, you're cute enough to help Taiwan!
–Columbia University
Overheard by: L-Dubbs
Cute blonde to friend at gym: Oh my god! Look! That looks like a cuter version of this bald guy I slept with in a closet over the summer!
–14th & 3rd
Overheard by: Rob Lovett
Earnest sidewalk pollster: Sir? Have you got a minute to talk about the sanitation department? Do you think it's normal?
–51st St & Lexington
Overheard by: jake-e
Conductor, bending down before fainted man: C'mon! Dude! What did I tell you before? Get up and sit down and pass out in the seat like regular normal people. People think you're dead. Get up.
–Uptown 6 Train
Overheard by: I guess not a normal person
Girl, during History of Islam class: Miracles show us what's normal and what's, like, super above normal.
–Hunter College
Woman, bending down to adjust child: You have to walk normally now–like a normal person.
–Museum of Natural History
Nerd guy to friend: It wouldn't be child labor. You just hook them up to electrodes, connect them to the the power grid, and have them play on the playground like normal!
–Shuttle to Times Square
Snooty alternative chick: So, for some reason I always get these creepy guys talking to me on the train. This one guy on the ride over here looked over at my iPod and I was listening to The Fall, right? And he’s like, ‘That’s an interesting song. It’s like punk, right?’ And so then he pulls out his iPod and starts trying to impress me with his shitty music list.
Alternative guy: What was on it?
Snooty alternative chick: Blink 182 and Good Charlotte and stuff… And it’s like, ‘Um, you’re a guy on the N train who started talking to me, you’re not gonna get in my pants… And you’re especially not gonna get in my pants if you don’t know who The Fall are! That’s totally a prerequisite.’
–Kim’s Video, St. Mark’s Pl
Wasp woman, looking at Asian Peoples exhibit: Oh, honey, look, that woman looks just like that woman at that Chinese food place we like!
–Museum of Natrual History
Overheard by: Heather
Older man to Chinese friend: You know, Caucasians really can't tell the difference between the Asians and the Chinese.
–23rd St b/w 5th & 6th Ave
Overheard by: James
Burly bouncer to burnt-out groupie: Don't think of it as a finger, think of it as an Asian penis.
–11th & 3rd
Tourist on cell: I think I'm heading towards Little Italy, but all I see are Chinese people. I feel like fuckin' Marco Polo. Fuck man, where are you? (trips on curb and falls into pile of trash bags)
–Canal St
Giggling 20-something: So we hired a new intern, and she's Asian!
–Murray Hill
Overheard by: sab
