Four-year-old to his mom: Do you have a penis?
Mom: No.
Four-year-old: Yes you do. I know you do. I saw it!
–Lombardi’s Pizza
Four-year-old to his mom: Do you have a penis?
Mom: No.
Four-year-old: Yes you do. I know you do. I saw it!
–Lombardi’s Pizza
Female office worker: None of those mermaids had nipples.
Male office worker: Well, that’s because fish don’t nurse!
–Office Building, W 46th St
Overheard by: The Green Cat
Girl #1: [crying]Girl #2: Sorry, when I see a women crying in a pharmacy I just assume she is pregnant.
–400 W 58th St
Overheard by: Tex117
Frat boy #1: Dude! Look at that girl in that store… She’s checkin’ me out.
Frat boy #2: Dude, that’s a mannequin!
Frat boy #1: Oh.
–Rockefeller Center
Overheard by: Michelle
Little boy: Dad, can I get a sucker?
Dad: No.
Little boy: Please dad? Why not?
Dad: Suckers are for girls.
–Target Shopping Center
Overheard by: Alaina
Boy #1: So how does your vagina feel today?
Boy #2: A little bit chafy.
–Staten Island
20-something woman to friends: I mean they said they’d pay me $20 for it. I would show them one for $20, why not? One boob for $20? I mean, maybe they thought it was a big deal since we were at work.
–N Train Platform, 34th St Station
Overheard by: Regina
[Two young woman crossing the street. One turns to the the other and grabs her breast.]Grabber girl: Honk!
[Both giggle and cross street into Victoria’s Secret.]
–34th & Broadway
Overheard by: Chockita
Female boss to employee in low-cut shirt: Your boobs are awesome. But -I’m just gonna have to do this. [Pulls up employee’s neckline.] Because…I just wanna dive in there. Head-first.
–Theater, St Marks Place
Overheard by: fhqwhgads
Professor: So you see, men only like women’s boobs because of cleavage.
–Bard High School Early College
Tourist girls: [In unison from the door] Booooobies! [Run to the big naked lady sculpture and poses to take a picture].
–Columbus Circle
Teen girl to friend: Julia! Put your titties away!
–14th & 6th
Bored, drunken guy in a silent train cart: So does anyone wanna show their titties?
–NJ Transit
Overheard by: Not drunk enough to flash
Conductor: Use all available doors, please. Don’t be afraid of open doors.
–6 Train
Overheard by: Jon A.
Man looking at the BDSM exhibit: That’s not scary. I have one of those!
–Museum of Sex
Overheard by: Rachel K
Big black man to his big black friends: Yo, and I was totally afraid he’d crush my vagina.
–Starbucks, 9th & 57th
Overheard by: newsyspice
Homeless guy: I don’t know why all you people are looking at me scared! This is my game face! Halloween is over!
–G Train
Overheard by: drum
Teen dude: You just can’t be tall and survive on a mountain!
–Halloween Adventure, 11th St & 4th Ave
Overheard by: da sarkastik ninja.
Teenage boy: Girls are so lucky… They can feel themselves up whenever they want.
–LIRR
High school girl: I said to her: "What they call you?" … And she said, "TND". And I said, "’TND’?, What’s ‘TND’"? And she said "Top Notch Diva". [Howls with laughter.] She said "Top notch". Nobody say "Top notch"… That was like, last summer… Top notch… [laughs and snickers] and then she say: "What they call you?" and I said "BB"… "Betta bills". [Howls with laughter.]
–#1 Train
Teen boy, with a sigh: Sometimes the world just isn’t as shiny as you want it to be.
–42nd St
Teenager to Mexican friend: Don’t make me call immigration on you.
–Q train, to 57th st
Overheard by: LoRna
Teen: I like the beginning part of the Dido song "Thank you", you know, the depressing part, because I can relate to it. Well, aside from the parts about missing the bus because I have a car and paying bills because my parents do that for me.
–Union Square
Overheard by: UCB
Flamboyant black guy #1: That’s what I love about being gay. All these bitches be loving on me so I get them to do my homework.
Flamboyant black guy #2: True.
–Washington Square North
