Ghetto chick: She went by and shoved me and was like “Ex-cuse me!”, but not like “excuse me”, you know? So she had this long hair? Well, I grabbed her by the hair, flung her down the stairs, and started kicking her ass. I’ll fight anybody.
–D train
Ghetto chick: She went by and shoved me and was like “Ex-cuse me!”, but not like “excuse me”, you know? So she had this long hair? Well, I grabbed her by the hair, flung her down the stairs, and started kicking her ass. I’ll fight anybody.
–D train
Thug, talking about fanny pack: What is that? Your change purse?
Thugette: Nigga, that's my insulin!
–1 Train
Skinny Spanish girl: That nigga was saying how he had me moaning and screaming, but I was like, "nigga, I'm just loud–that doesn't mean you're good!"
–Ft. Hamilton Parkway, Brooklyn
Overheard by: also loud
Ghetto chick to friend: Yo…in my country, it's illegal to not please your woman. You gotta fuck her till she begs you to stop.
–116th & 1st
Overheard by: DonnaRae
Man on phone: Yeah…I just fingerblasted her for like an hour. No big deal.
–E 4th St & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: intern2
Mom to teenage son: And I was like "sure, have sex in my bed, it never sees any."
–Mercer & W 3rd
Girl on cell: Oh no, he's back fucking his secretary now, so I'm like, completely free!
–East Village
20-something on cell, after loud graphic sex tale: And don't you be telling anyone! I don't like strangers knowing my business.
–Express Bus to Brooklyn
Girl: Forget it, I’m taking these off.
Guy: Why, baby? Let me see ’em.
Girl: No, they make my butt look like a white person’s ass.
Guy: What’s that?
Girl: They make my ass look flat like a white person’s!
Guy: Baby, I can’t hear you.
–Wet Seal, Manhattan Mall
Overheard by: E-Bar
Thug: This was what I was tryin’ to tell him. I mean, why not? We got thumbs just like them monkeys.
Thugette: Yeah.
Thug: Some people even look like them apes too. You ever seen someone who looks like an ape?
Thugette: Yeah. She was pretty.
–Museum of Natural History
Loud girl to friend: Tell them you want fuckable hair! Fuckable hair!
–Astor Place
Overheard by: Bruce Lee
Girl to friend: You mean her boob-look hair puff?
–52nd St & 6th Ave
Ghetto woman to another: Why he be mooning everyone with that hairy ass?
–53rd & Lexington
Overheard by: tommy a
Man to friend: I'm Mexican, man; I was *born* with a mustache.
–Grand & Orchard
Girl, enunciatively: I support chest hair!
–Hell's Kitchen
Overheard by: DI
Ghetto chick #1: Yo, how come people keep leaving but we’re still fucking crushed in?
Ghetto chick #2: It’s ’cause we’re fat, bitch.
–Rockefeller Center
Ghetto chick #1: We was doin’ trigonometry.
Ghetto chick #2: Trigonometry…like slopes n’ shit?
–9th Street PATH station
Overheard by: Melissa M.
Girl: Someone just needs to push him off the gay cliff, ‘cuz he’s not jumpin!
–Varick &Vandam
Ghetto girl: I seen Whoopie Goldberg’s daughter! She a lesbian, light-skinned, and she bad!
–9th Ave & 16th St
Overheard by: david hyman
Darrell Hammond: It’s only queer if you’re on the bottom.
–Fordham
Overheard by: Jess McGins
Angry man on cell: This is exactly why I don’t date bisexual guys!
–3rd Ave & 9th St
Girl on cell: I still don’t get why you dumped him. Just ’cause you’re a lesbian and he’s got that thing for unicorns doesn’t mean you wouldn’t have been cute together.
–2nd & A
Thug: So I was eating that bitch out, and yo, yo, she told me that she was a lez…A lesbian yo! A lesbian!
–Manhattan Ave & 103rd St
Overheard by: Carol – walking slowly so as to hear the rest
Queer: My friend Carol has been dating gay guys for years and fails to realize it until it’s too late!
–Jamaica Ave and 150th St
Overheard by: Rodney-Rod
Queer: Hanging out with him is like doing charity work.
–Christopher & Bleecker
Overheard by: J. Ann
Ghetto girl to thug: You can’t touch this. Keep reminiscin’, mothafucka.
–106th & Columbus
Overheard by: Shmoop
Guy on cell: I’ll be real with you, man. I know more than you. I know a lot more than you.
–17th & 5th
Altruist: He’s really nice so I just fake it sometimes.
–Elevator, 120 Wall St
Overheard by: Aubrie
Teen girl: She did what? Oh my God, she is, like, so off my top 8.
–1 train
Queer: Well, I do like the person you want to be.
–Washington & Charles
Loud chick: Who knows how he lucked out into marrying her? I’m just always thinking, lady, you are hot, and yet you married an Ewok.
–Starbucks, 71st & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Susan Volchok
