Girls

Girl #1: No, it's Terry Bradshaw, with a “t.”
Girl #2: No, it's Carrie, with a “c.” Carrie Bradshaw.
Girl #1: Um…no, it's Terry Bradshaw, you're wrong.
Girl #2: It's Carrie, with a “c.” You don't know what you're talking about.

–St. Mark's b/w 2nd & 3rd

Headline by: narcoleptic

Runners-Up:
· “Hopefully Matthew Broderick Can Tell the Difference” – why do we care?
· “It’s Not Sex in the NFL?” – Sandy Paws
· “Most Scores in a Single Season?” – Jen
· “One Is a Whore, the Other Had a TV Show on HBO” – 4 superbowls= tons of ladies
· “Wait, Are We Talking About the One Who Plays With Balls And Likes Being Tackled by Large Men, or the One on FOX NFL Sunday?” – Lee

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Mother: United 93–what's this movie about?
Daughter: Oh, it's about some plane. It's boring.

–Blockbuster, Bay Ridge

Girl: Can Jews have sex on Shabbos?
Friend: Are you serious?
Girl: Well, I don't know! They can't drive cars, they can't carry money, they even have a special elevator for them in hospitals! What can they do?
Friend: Apparently, not drive to hospitals and pay people to have sex with them in elevators.

–77th & York

Girl #1, sarcastically: I've never seen a penis before in my life.
Girl #2: Ha!
Girl #1: Well, you don't need to see a penis to sit on it.

–Fat Cat, West Village

Overheard by: BettyBoop

Hipster chick: Popping a blister is like smacking god in the face!

–Fordham University, Lincoln Center

Overheard by: Alice

Homeless man on train begging for money by telling jokes: A black man and a white man go into a bar. They get into a fight with each other. And then they die. And then they go to heaven and god says to them: "What it is… what it is!"

–1 Train

Overheard by: Kristin

Girl to friend: I’m gonna have to get ghetto on god!

–61st & Broadway

Overheard by: lizzerd

Homeless man says to homeless woman: Now, these people are trying to hoodwink god!

–Seventh Ave & Lincoln Place, Park Slope

Overheard by: Annie

Professor to students: God is not a drug dealer!

–Fordham University

Girl #1: My mom is obsessed with tv. When she was pregnant with me and her water broke, she waited until Moonlighting was over before she left for the hospital. I'm even named after a tv character.
Girl #2: Natasha?
Girl #1: Yeah, you know, from Rocky and Bullwinkle?
Girl #2: Why didn't she just name you Bullwinkle?

–LIRR

Girl #1: Dude, you know she’s gay. Remember when she hit on me?
Girl #2: Oh, yeah! Now I remember! She, like, tried to kiss you, and you fell backwards off the couch! I have never laughed that hard in my life.
Girl #1: Yeah, that was pretty funny.

–F train

Overheard by: Sara

Construction worker: Hey beautiful, you have a lovely day.
Young girl: I'm fourteen, you perv!
Construction worker: Ay, puta…
Young girl: And I speak Spanish!

–9th St & University

Chick: Can I make a request?
DJ guy: Sure, if I got it….
Chick: Can you play some black music?
DJ guy: By “black music” you mean music performed by black people?
Chick: Yeah!
DJ guy: Do you mean Chuck Berry black music or, like, DMX black music?

–Motor City Bar, Ludlow Street

Overheard by: DR

Big black lady: Oh, honey! What’s wrong, baby?
Weeping white girl: Oh… It’s nothing. I’ll be okay.
Big black lady: Boy problems?
Weeping white girl: … Yeah.
Big black lady: What did he do to you, dear? Did he… Did he beat you?
Weeping white girl, trying not to laugh: No! No, it was nothing like–
Big black lady: –Did he sleep with another woman?
Weeping white girl: No, he–
Big black lady: –Because if he did he’ll get an STD and die, don’t you worry.

–115th & Broadway