Daughter tourist: Wow! Look at him.
Mother tourist: Yeah, who knew there were so many Amish in New York?
–Bowling Green Park
Overheard by: Lauhginallthe way
Daughter tourist: Wow! Look at him.
Mother tourist: Yeah, who knew there were so many Amish in New York?
–Bowling Green Park
Overheard by: Lauhginallthe way
Big guy: My grandmother is a science teacher, my father is a math teacher, and my brother is going to be a professor.
Little chick: And you want to be an actor — what a disappointment.
Big guy: Well, if the acting thing doesn’t work out, I’ll be a gym teacher, because those who can’t do, teach. And those who can’t teach, teach gym.
–Olive Garden, Times Square
Overheard by: teetee
Tourist girl: This is my day every day. I sleep until around 9:30 and I get up and I answer my emails. Then, I work for a couple of hours and then I watch The View. And then I eat lunch and I basically meditate and contemplate everything for a few hours. And then I watch Oprah, so I can cry my eyes out for all the poor people in Africa. Then I eat dinner and I go shopping with my parents at the mall.
New York girl: Wow. It sounds like a spa.
Tourist girl: Yes. My life is like a spa.
–Dekalb Avenue, Brooklyn
Skinny white girl: Okay, so you know how they're always saying “the Tri-State area”?
Hispanic friend: Yeah.
Skinny white girl: They mean New York, New Jersey, and Atlantic City right?
Hispanic friend: I think so…
–Nail Salon, Kew Gardens
Girl #1 jumps around in glee after giving a man directions: Oh my god! He totally believed I was a New Yorker!
Girl #2: I guess your junkie face really makes you fit in here…bitch!
–Bowery & Delancy
Guy: Awww, man, did you hear? Billy's in the hospital!
Girl: Oh no! What happened?
Guy: He only ate bananas and pop for like two weeks straight.
Girl: Shit, that sucks. Poor Billy!
–Williamsburg, Brooklyn
Woman on phone: I am being nice, but I'm not going to describe to you in great detail what a bug looks like!
–Staten Island Ferry
Overheard by: R&L
Man in zoot suit: When I talk, I don't want you bitches saying nothing! I only wanna hear the cockroaches fornicating on the walls!
–F Train
Overheard by: Reagan
Hipster: It was like watching a praying mantis have a seizure.
–16th & 8th
Wasted girl on sidewalk: No, I am so upset, I am so upset, I lost the back of my phone and there is a bug, a bug!
–11th & Broadway
Old lady: She looks pretty much like a roach.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Adam Nathan
Woman preaching: Jesus loves you!
Obviously Jewish girl: Well, supposedly we killed him, so I don’t think so.
–Grand Central
Overheard by: G
Girl #1: I don’t know what kind of atmosphere! I just want something professional and sophisticated.
Girl #2: “Professional” and “sophisticated”. Excuse me while I go smoke an L in an alley behind the stock exchange.
–14th & 9th
Teenage nerd: My boss and my dealer have the same name. One time I called my boss asking for weed, and he was like "hey!" and I was like "yo, lemme cop" and he was like "I think you have the wrong number" and I hung up.
–Tompkins Square Park
Overheard by: joy
Yuppie 30-something in black coat and white scarf: I'm going crazy! I've got his dealer's number programmed into my phone, but I can't remember her name, so if I call, I won't know who to ask for. And you have to know who to ask for, or they'll think you're a cop!
–16th St & 7th Ave
Loud, mildly intoxicated girl at dinner: People who litter are so much worse than drug dealers.
–Brooklyn
Lady on cell: Tourism is the only industry that doesn't depend on drug cartels.
–14th St & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: Diaz
